Category: Written


The Life You Wish You Lived

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May 11, 2010

Originally Published: October 28, 2009, 1050ESPN.com (Now ESPNNewYork.com) and Lundberg.me

As mentioned in my article on the new South Park video game, there is also a new season of South Park going on now. Unfortunately, Comedy Central’s show to bridge the gap for last season between the foul-mouth youths of South Park and the satirical wit of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart was Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, and as predicted by yours truly, sputtered out after only a season as they burned through the same jokes over and over again.

Well, you can’t have a gap in your strongest block of programming, so Comedy Central has taken their chances this time with an even raunchier comedy, Secret Girlfriend.

The basic premise is that this sitcom revolves around YOU. At least, it is supposed to. Shot in a first-person perspective, you live somewhere in California where the sun is always shining and the ladies are always wearing something skimpy. Along with your two roommates/best friends, the sitcom follows you as you attempt to attain all that most guys in their 20s think about: booze and babes. All the while you also try to keep your hot, but bat-guano insane, ex-girlfriend from mucking up your life. You also find a meaningful relationship early on, but must keep her hidden from your ex-girlfriend to protect hers and your safety (hence the title of the show).

The show follows you to parties, clubs, strip clubs, and your apartment complex as your roommates try to use get rich quick schemes and viral videos to help them on their quest for their ultimate one-night stand where as you don’t have that difficulty due to your natural good looks and charm. You are thrown into constantly sexually provocative situations with random girls at bars, the yoga practitioner across the hall, and even on the car ride to wherever you are headed that day. All in all, you live a pretty sweet life.

I’ve watched the first three episodes of Secret Girlfriend because I wanted to see if there is more to it than just potty humor and hot women. There is not. And that might just make it a success. Of course, there is also a more probable chance, much like it’s time-slot predecessors, that it will burn through these jokes much too quickly and grow old in the minds of its viewers. That’s probably why the hot women are there, to help cover up the quickly aged jokes and situations. Then again, many of us have cable modems at this point and can see much more than what this show gives us for free.

So there really isn’t a lot of substance in Secret Girlfriend. In fact, Secret Girlfriend makes me frustrated in many ways. For example, I am not handsome and I am not charming and, in fact, most women find me kind of creepy (“Mua ha ha ha ha” seems to be a bad pick-up line). It really ticks me off seeing guys like the guy you’re supposed to be in the show, who have no job, loser friends, and no life, chasing every piece of tail they see and succeeding. Especially since I know guys like that in real life. I don’t want to see that on my TV!

Also, none of my neighbors practice yoga. And if they do, I sure don’t want to see it because I am surrounded by geriatrics in my neighborhood. They’re sweet people, but there isn’t a single, hot, 20-year-old in spandex among them. And don’t even get me started on the hot chick who just wants to hang around, eat pizza, and play GTA 4.

Since I believe most guys fall in-between the “playa” you are in this show and my own relationship-challenged category, I don’t see a lot guys being able to relate at all to the character we are supposed to be in this show.

I see a lot of guys turning Secret Girlfriend off and heading over to their broadband PCs for their hot chick fix. The jokes will get tired very quickly and the insane situations the characters find themselves in will run out faster than the writers can come up with them and so my official prediction is that I don’t see Secret Girlfriend lasting more than a season or two.

New episodes of Secret Girlfriend can be seen (for now) at 10:30 PM every Wednesday night after South Park on Comedy Central.

-Ray Carsillo

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Where Dreams Are Driven

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Originally Published: October 26, 2009, on 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com), Examiner.com, Collider.com, and Lundberg.me

It is the slogan for one of the most anticipated racing games to come out in a long time. The Forza series is the premiere racing game for the Xbox 360 and is constantly in the discussion for best racing game available, period. Two years since their last installment, the folks at Turn 10 and Microsoft have kicked this franchise into another gear now (pun admittedly intended) with Forza Motorsport 3.

With now well over 400 cars featured in the game from over 50 different manufactures, you would think “options” is what Forza means (it really stands for “power” in Italian and that makes more sense, I think). Each and every car is also completely customizable from interior designs and colors to rims to the air pressure in your tires.

You think it’s great to drive a lot of cars? Well, how about driving them on 100 different race tracks from all over the world from Sebring to Nürburgring and even the Circuit de la Sarthe, which is used for the world-famous Le Mans 24 hour race. Yeah…options.

So far, I’ve thrown out a lot of numbers. Impressive numbers, but still, just numbers. Let’s talk about looks. The cars are built with 10 times the amount of polygons from the last installation of Forza and that has allowed for more finely detailed visible damage to your car from scratched paint all the way to tire wear over the course of a race. You can almost see the flies splatter across your windshield this game looks so good.

Speaking of damage, how about the fact that a brand new physics engine now might make you think twice about trying to smack an opponent out of your way as you might just flip your own car over and take yourself out of the race (I know, I’ve done it. It is fun for like three seconds until you realize you’ve definitely lost the race now).

Of course, a severely improved A.I. could make contact all but impossible as your opponents react to your actions like real drivers now. Some cars might try to floor it to put some distance between you if you act aggressive while others might just let you pass in the hopes your righteous fury will just glide by them (I only know how to drive aggressive so I’ve only seen the A.I. act to my anger fueled actions). The A.I. might try to pull the same tricks on you, though, if you’re not careful, by bumping you in turns or veering back and forth to prevent you from cleanly passing.

Along with the classic racing game modes like vs., time trials, and online vs., there is also the inclusion of a brand new single-player season mode that insures that no player will have the same racing experience as you play through six years in the life of a driver as you try to win races with a plethora of cars in various classes. From one-on-one heats, to drift events, to drag, to circuit races, each calendar has more than 200 events on it and will test every aspect of your skills as a driver.

This sounds like a gearhead’s dream for sure. But what if you are a more casual racing gamer? What if you don’t know how to tune your car or when to brake going into a turn? The fine folks at Turn 10 took that into consideration. There are a bevy of options that can be tuned to your liking depending on your ability and even an automatic “Quick Upgrade” feature that will tune your car to its maximum ability without you having to look through valves and fuses trying to figure out which ones will be the best for your car. You can ease up the opponent’s A.I., you can lessen the wear and tear on your car during a race, and you can even turn on the one-button auto-brake assists or you can paint a line on the track telling you where to turn and how fast you should be going. All of these are great for beginning racing gamers as you attempt to not only learn the tracks, but improve your skills over time.

The ultimate assist though is probably the best. Similar to the “flashback” feature from Grid, Forza Motorsport 3 has no limits to the amount of times it’s “rewind” feature can be used in a single-player race as it allows you to stop play and go back in time instantaneously to re-do a poor turn or maybe getting spun out by an opponent’s car. The “rewind” feature is so extensive, that the opponent might even rethink how they go into a turn.

While playing, I specifically remember two cars colliding on a hairpin turn that caused a pileup that ended up taking me and several other cars out. I rewound the accident and, on the very next try, the cars avoided each other and the race continued. I didn’t have to worry about restarting the entire race or trying to comeback from a ridiculous deficit because of a mistake the computer made and that makes playing this game so much more enjoyable.

With all the compliments I am paying the game, mind you, there are flaws. Firstly, the soundtrack is beyond limited and you might just turn the music off after a while because by the second year of your single-player career, every song has been played to death.

Another problem is that once you have a solid lead in a race, even on the hardest difficulty level, the A.I., although great in many other aspects, has trouble making a play back on your position if it falls too far behind. This means that a lot of races that might be five or six laps, could be over by the third or fourth a lot of times if you can make the right moves. Also, since in many series you’ll face the same cars, the cars do not make adjustments between races like you can and you’ll often be competing with the same two or three cars while the other four or five will simply fall out of contention. The A.I. is very good, but it still has its drawbacks.

These small complaints aside, this is still probably the best racing game out there because hands-down it is the most fun to play. It has successfully removed all the frustrations for those rookie racers out there while having enough options to keep the hardcore of the hardcore more than happy. Forza Motorsport 3 is available for the Xbox 360 on October 27th, 2009.

Ratings are based on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best.

Graphics: 9.5: From skid marks staying new and fresh throughout the entire race to bumpers flying off in high speed collisions, this game looks gorgeous. Maybe if rims and side-mirrors started flying off in collisions, too, it would be completely perfect looking.

Audio 8.0: The soundtrack gets tired quickly and is really the only audio complaint I could find. The hum of the engines and how they vary from tune-up to tune-up is impressive.

Plot/Plot Development: N/A: It’s a simulation and therefore really doesn’t have a plot…

Gameplay: 8.5: The A.I. is light years ahead of the competition in many aspects, but does seem simple if you can pull out to a big lead.

Replay Value: 8.5: With 200 events per single-player calendar and online and offline vs. and time-trial modes and the Forza community will be happy for a long time with this installment. The only problem is that the single-player campaign can become repetitive after a while with only so many tracks and opponent strategies, making for a more simple racing experience.

Overall (not an average): 9.0: Easily the most fun racing game I’ve ever played, it still isn’t quite perfect. More audio tracks would be nice and the A.I. has lapses at times, but this is still probably the best racing game out there. Now, we just have to wait for all the track and car DLC that is sure to be coming.

-Ray Carsillo

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The Ultimate Team-Up

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April 24, 2010

Originally Published: October 23, 2009, on 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com)

I had promised this a while ago, but due to unforeseen circumstances, breaking news, and surprise interviews, this review has been pushed back for weeks. Now, finally, without further ado, here is my review of Batman/Superman: Public Enemies.

It is one of the best titles to come out from DC in a long time and it gives a fresh look into the psyches of their two heavy lifters, Batman and Superman. Aptly titled Batman/Superman (or Superman/Batman, not really sure since they use a Superman symbol inside a giant bat), this series, started by comic book veterans Jeph Loeb and Ed McGuinness five years ago, has seen some of the most interesting situations the Dark Knight and Man of Steel have ever been thrown in. From alternative universes to Lex Luthor’s presidency, Batman/Superman never has a dull moment while the limits of the DC Universe’s logic are always pushed to the limits.

Because of the success of this series’ run, DC Animation felt it would be prudent to strike while the iron was hot. Considering that the storyboards were already in place for the most part since this story was to have been done on Cartoon Network before the Justice League series was cancelled, it only needed minor tweaking to turn what would have been a two or three episode arc for the half hour cartoon into a full 67-minute feature.

Thus, we have Batman/Superman: Public Enemies. Following the story arc where Lex Luthor is president and puts a bounty out on the heads of our two favorite heroes, Public Enemies is a testament to DC Animation when they get it right.

This cartoon was the comic come to life. There were some parts cut out like the Superman from Earth-2’s visit, but they were all for the sake of keeping the story crisp and free of clutter. I understand that, but when the movie is only 67 minutes, would 10 more minutes of animated story straight from the comic killed you? The animation style looked just like the drawings from the comic and having veteran voice actors reprise their roles from previous DC cartoons like Kevin Conroy as Batman, Tim Daly as Superman, and Clancy Brown as Lex Luthor made fanboys everywhere jump for joy.

The only real problem I had with the cartoon was that it didn’t depict the motivations of our heroes nor did it say why they interact with each other the way they do like in the comics. Of course, the lack of thought bubbles is a problem when taking something from a comic, but it is such an integral part of the comic that Public Enemies doesn’t feel as deep as it should. With the uniqueness of the relationship between Batman and Superman being a large part of the book, it made the cartoon feel a little empty without being able to properly depict that.

Also, the scene that was added where Luthor makes out with Amanda Waller was grossly unnecessary. With everything else that was cut to keep the story as streamlined as possible, that addition made no sense.

When you consider the awesome special features for the 2-disc special addition (that also comes with a sweet Batman figurine!) including a sit down with Andrea Romano (casting director for DC Animation), Bruce Timm (executive producer), and Kevin Conroy (voice of Batman), and two Adventures of Superman cartoon episodes from the late 90s and the $19.99 price tag seems well worth it.

Minor character development problems aside, this was an awesome movie and the special features make it all the more worth it. Include the great voice acting and animation and this is a must buy for any DC Comics fan.

Batman/Superman: Public Enemies gets a 4 out of 5.

-Ray Carsillo

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I’m Going Down to South Park…

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Originally Published: October 7, 2009, to 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com), Lundberg.me, and Examiner.com

It is one of the funniest and longest running programs on television and has permeated the pop culture like few shows do, especially ones that reside primarily on basic cable. But the four foul-mouthed youths from South Park on Comedy Central are still going strong and are once again attempting to invade the digital realm.

South Park Let’s Go Tower Defense Play takes this hugely popular franchise and sticks it in a tower defense game (hence the title). What is amazing is that South Park’s cast of characters makes this straightforward, lackluster genre somewhat fun.

The basic plot is that a mysterious force is sending some of the boys’ most nefarious foes from the past towards the heart of South Park in order to destroy the town once and for all! Homeless people, terrorists, ginger kids, demons, and old people just scratch the surface of the mindless hordes bent on destroying South Park as the boys must set up specially designed towers ranging from fast pitch baseball machines to magnifying glass powered lasers to cherry bomb launchers and fireworks to repel the invading forces over 11 levels from all over South Park and the surrounding area.

Cut scenes between each level help forward the plot (done in the style from the forever classic episode “Good Times With Weapons”) as the boys desperately try to unravel the mystery of who has brought together all of these clearly evil forces (I’m focusing in on you old people!) bent on destroying their peaceful little town and the end revelation will shock you into hysterics.

The best part of the game though is the scrapbook (inspired by the “Cartman Sucks” episode) in which you not only collect images of the foes you defeat along the way, but unlock over 80 original clips from the show highlighting the first appearances of these infamous villains ranging all the way back to Season 1.

Being downloadable content, don’t expect the graphics to be crystal clear, but considering the animation style of South Park, it is more than forgivable. The audio though is top notch with the entire voice cast coming on to do voices and record thousands of original lines for this game.

The game is not perfect though, as the gameplay is a little glitchy. I found it difficult for my characters to run around a lot of times without freezing a little and it was difficult to select which specific tower I wanted to build many times. Add in that it would have been so much easier to set the boys to the four directions of the d-pad instead of constantly having to rotate through them with the right bumper.

The bottom line is that if you are a fan of South Park, you are going to want this game because it is hysterical, but I don’t see it appealing to people otherwise. There are four difficulties to the game and they threw in five challenge maps for when you beat the 8-10 hour campaign, but aside from that there isn’t a lot to bring you back to this except for a couple of classic laughs you might want to replay.

South Park Let’s Go Tower Defense Play is an Xbox Live exclusive, available tonight (which just so happens to coincide with the new season premiere) for 800 Microsoft Points (roughly $10) and considering the content you get, the price is well worth it if you are a South Park fan.

Ratings are based on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best.

Graphics: 8.0: You might download this and gawk at the high graphics score I gave it, but you have to take into consideration the style of animation that South Park is done in, so the game’s actual graphics are close to watching the actual cartoon and the cut scenes, although done in the old school comic book panel by panel style, look awesome.

Audio: 9.0: The game opens with the theme song and the entire cast came on board to voice over thousands of lines of dialogue so I can’t give the audio a poor score. Generic SFX and background music in the levels though docks the overall score a point.

Plot/Plot Development: 9.0: Fans of the show will already be familiar with the surroundings and characters so since this is clearly marketed to the already established fan base (myself included) there wasn’t a need to go into background details. The game starts off like an episode of the sitcom and continues over the course of the day. The mystery is developed well through the cut scenes and the surprise ending fit perfectly into what South Park is all about.

Gameplay: 6.0: Passable, but barely. The gameplay is a bit glitchy and I thought the switching between characters and selecting towers tool was difficult to use at best. The whole game, even with the challenge maps, is probably about 12 hours overall and doesn’t get more straightforward than build towers, delay and kill enemies, don’t die yourself.

Replay Value: 5.0: It is nice that you can do online co-op and play with lots of characters like Jimmy or Pip if you get tired of the boys, but there just isn’t enough here that appeals to me to play through the campaign mode repeatedly on different difficulties to try to unlock all the various clips of episodes I’ve already seen countless times.

Overall (not an average): 8.0: If you love South Park, you will love this game because there is just enough polish to make you try to work through the entire campaign. If you don’t like South Park, then you are going to want to avoid this game, but who doesn’t like South Park? This game is sweeeeeeet.

-Ray Carsillo

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When Heroes Collide

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Originally Published: October 5, 2009, to 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com), Lundberg.me, and Comicvine.com

Marvel, a while ago, had put out a series of action RPGs involving four-person teams of some of your favorite heroes. Two X-men games, a couple of Fantastic Four titles, and the crème de le crème that culminated in the title that was Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, a joining of many of the heroes from the Marvel Universe, that did extraordinarily well with an original plot line and the game allowed you to mix and match your favorite heroes in any way you saw fit.

The best part of MUA was that it left itself wide open for a sequel involving Galactus, maybe the Silver Surfer, and an even larger array of heroes that encompassed the whole of the Marvel Universe.

But when MUA 2 came out, instead, it looked like the folks at Activision and Vicarious Visions who took over this series of games got lazy and didn’t feel like coming up with an entirely new script again. They took two of the biggest Marvel story arcs in recent history with Nick Fury’s Secret War and the Superhero Civil War and changed the ending so that if they ever decide to be original again, then they can.

Incase you are unfamiliar with these plots I will give you a quick summary: basically Fury’s War was a private attack on Dr. Doom’s Latveria (in this case after the events of MUA 1) as the new governess was also a weapons trafficker and designer. The Civil War pitted hero against hero as the government tried to make superheroes reveal their secret identities by registering with the government to make them liable for collateral damage after the New Warriors underestimated a group of villains in Stamford, CT, and 612 people were killed in the ensuing battle.

I’ll give credit where it is due in that Activision and Vicarious Visions stayed as true to the original comic arcs as they could before trying to get cute in bringing everyone together, but considering they had a plot for a sequel already lined up, it boggles my mind that they would put it on the backburner for something that die-hards spent far too long reading about to begin with.

Aside from my frustrations over the lack of a truly original plot though, this game is just as good as the first MUA in every other aspect. The cut scenes look beautiful and the voice acting is top-notch although I could’ve had a few more lines recorded for each character during the actual gameplay (how many times can you hear “HULK SMASH ALL THERE IS!” before it becomes tiresome?).

The gameplay is everything you would expect from an action RPG with some characters being much better than others and the new Fusion feature makes for some awesome team up moves like the classic “Fastball Special”. Since Colossus isn’t a playable character though, the Hulk, Thing, or Juggernaut (GameStop pre-orders only) stand-in for Wolverine’s X-men tin can teammate. There are a few minor glitches with your characters or enemies sometimes becoming trapped in corners and force you to switch characters to get them out, but aside from that, the game is relatively smooth.

The replay value is also very strong for the game because the only way to unlock everything would be to play through at least twice, once pro-registration and once anti-registration. Of course, the course you choose also affects the characters you can play with. Anyone familiar with the story arcs shouldn’t be surprised that only by choosing anti-registration can they get Luke Cage, Captain America, and Iron Fist and that only by choosing pro-registration can they get Iron Man, Songbird, and Mr. Fantastic.

Of course, once you beat the game one time through, you can play the second time through with any of the 25 playable characters as well as unlock the hardest difficulty. The best team to do that in the least amount of time would be Wolverine, Deadpool, Hulk, and Iron Fist. I don’t know why Iron Fist is as strong as he is, but he’s one of the best characters in the game because he can heal your entire team and Wolverine and Deadpool have healing factors, which makes the trio nearly impossible to kill. And then there is the Hulk (only available at the beginning if you get the game from Best Buy) and like I said before: HULK SMASH ALL THERE IS. Enough said.

In the end, anyone who is a comics fan and followed these story arcs should get this game because it is awesome to see the comics come to life and to see the various personalities of the Marvel Universe mix and mingle on your TV. I’m looking forward to MUA 3 even more now because I still want to see Galactus!

Ratings are based on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best.

Graphics: 8.0: This gets a slightly better than average score because the cut scenes are awesome, but the regular gameplay graphics are okay at best because of having so many enemies on screen at one time to prevent lag. Typical of these games, but I still have to call them on it.

Audio: 9.0: Great voice acting mixed in with great sound effects make this a strong score, but the music was generic for the most part. The MUA 2 theme for the game was really good though so the audio gets a great score overall.

Plot/Plot Development: 6.5: MUA 2 gets a barely passing score on plot because two-thirds of the game isn’t original whatsoever. They then made up an ending that was so far from the comics it is ridiculous, just to bring everyone together so that they can make a third game with a plot they hinted at in the first game should the opportunity present itself. It passes though because at least they stayed relatively true to the parts they did steal straight from the comics.

Gameplay: 7.0: This game is a button masher, plain and simple. You press the same couple of buttons to attack and occasionally team up with your pals to do it, but overall there isn’t a lot of depth to the gameplay. Add in a couple of glitches and it is okay at best.

Replay Value: 10.0: Needing to play through the game twice to unlock everyone and everything, along with 4 play online co-op and more collectibles than I can remember and there is a lot to bring you back to this game. It will take you probably 25-30 hours to find everything in the game if you play through it twice.

Overall (not an average): 7.5: Even though it isn’t the prettiest game, or the most original, the game is still good. Not great and definitely not ground-breaking, but if you are a fan of the Marvel universe, you will definitely enjoy this game. Add in some great surprises at the end and you will walk away with a smile on your face.

-Ray Carsillo

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Not a WET Blanket

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Originally Published: October 1, 2009, on Examiner.com, 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com), and Lundberg.me

Coming into 2009, there were three highly anticipated titles that were up in the air because their original developers dropped them suddenly and their fates were left to the winds. Luckily for us, those three games were too hot to be left there for long. The first was Ghostbusters, which came out in June and was dropped originally by Sierra before being picked up by Atari. The last one is Brutal Legend, coming out October 13th, and was originally a Vivendi Games title before being rescued by Electronic Arts. And then there is this little title called WET that just came out on September 15th, originally an Activision Blizzard game that was saved from the scrap heap by Bethesda Softworks.

WET follows around the most brutal Fixer to have ever stepped into cowboy boots, Rubi Malone. A Fixer is a nice description of what Rubi does in between whiskey shots and heavy weapons training. Rubi cleans up some of life’s most screwed up situations, usually in the crime underworld, with a trail of death, destruction, and misery in her wake. “Wet” is also a nice way to describe the blood on her hands.

We open up finding Rubi tasked with procuring a heart on the black market for an emergency transplant of a drug crime lord, but some small time hood has beaten her to her quarry. We are immediately immersed in Rubi’s world as she dives, slides, and runs up walls, all the while firing her patented dual pistols in the always awesome bullet time. The bullet time is critical because it allows us to aim Rubi’s pistols independently of each other, one automatically locking onto her nearest threat’s gut, the other free to wander around to other threats, or possibly the primary threat’s cranium for a quicker kill. Not to mention it’s just damn cool.

Some situations don’t always call for pistols though, especially in cramped quarters. With a quick tap of the X button, Rubi can hop out of bullet time and turn into a close-quarter she-devil as she slices limbs off with unbridled prejudice with her katana. This fighting flexibility is the staple of the gameplay and only by mastering it and recognizing what weapons work best where can Rubi progress through the game’s 12 stages.

As the game progresses, Rubi also unlocks a shotgun, SMG, and crossbow with explosive bolts, adding to the controlled mayhem that Rubi finds herself in throughout the game.

The action is there and is addictive and diverse enough with Rubi randomly being thrown into a rage when she gets splashed with blood like she was Carrie, or having to mow down hordes of enemies in an arena setting, to keep you glued to the game. That isn’t to say this game is without fault. In terms of gameplay, there are a lot of glitches. Walking through walls or falling through floors at certain points are old-school glitches that you just shouldn’t see anymore. Not to mention the game freezing during load-screens, making you restart the game, and probably the most anti-climatic final boss battle in all of gaming with a push-button prompt sequence (X flashes on screen, you press X; Y flashes on screen, you press Y, etc.) against the final two foes.

This said the plot is also a little thin. Although left open for a sequel in that cheesy, 1960s drive-thru, B-movie way (complete with commercials to remind you to buy food from the lobby; hysterical) that seemed to be the theme of the game, there was no real establishment of the characters, especially Rubi and her crew, and the plot itself just seemed to progress too quickly for my taste. There may have been 12 levels, but some of them were completely done in the rail-shooter style, which is a nice changeup from the regular gameplay, but that meant there were only nine levels of Rubi’s patented “monkey business” (a running gag for the game is Rubi’s acrobatics have her compared to a chimp on many occasions by some of the more unsavory characters and it also leads to toy monkey collectibles on each level).

In terms of graphics, the game is probably slightly above average. The blood effects weren’t the best and the grainy film effect added to the game to help cover this up was nice, but I would have rather of had a perfectly crisp, clean experience instead of gimmicks to cover it up.

The audio is something this game really shines in. Easily the best original soundtrack I’ve heard in a long time with original music from some up and coming bands on MySpace and some great voice acting from Eliza Dushku as Rubi, Malcolm McDowell as Rupert Pelham, and Alan Cumming as Sorrell and “Ze Kollector”.

At the end of the day, this is a really solid game. I’m on the fence about saying if it is a straight up buy due to the glitchy gameplay and thin plot, but when you add in collectibles throughout the levels, a high score mode, instant kill mode, and challenges galore unlocked after you beat the game for the first time, and I would say this is probably a solid investment if you play it to its max considering one play through will take you 10-15 hours by itself.

Ratings are based on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest.

Graphics: 8.0: The grainy film effect was nice, but a clear attempt to cover up the generic looking backgrounds and average blood effects. Rubi looked very nice though.

Audio: 10.0: An awesome, blood pumping, original soundtrack that fit the game perfectly mixed with awesome sound effects and great voice acting from big stars like Eliza Dushku, Malcolm McDowell, and Alan Cumming and this is a wonderful listening experience.

Plot/Plot Development: 6.0: The plot felt a little thin and a little rushed, but the basics were there. I would’ve liked a little more character development though, especially with our heroine.

Gameplay: 7.0: The bullet time was flawless and it needed to be considering 80% of the game takes place in slow-mo as you try to pour bullets into various lowlifes. There were still a few very basic glitches with the environment though and freezing during load screens later in the game was beyond frustrating.

Replay Value: 9.0: I don’t know how they could have worked a multiplayer into this game, but there isn’t one. Aside from that, there is a lot to bring you back to the story mode including several new modes of play after the first play through and the toy monkey collectibles.

Overall (not an average): 7.5: The glitchy gameplay takes away from the great action concept that is WET. A lot to bring you back to this title, awesome bullet time effects, funny dialogue, and awesome music makes this a solid, but not spectacular gaming experience. Probably worth a buy though.

WET is available now.

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Just Call Me J. Jonah Jameson

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Originally Published: October 1, 2009, on 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com), Lundberg.me, and Comicvine.com

There are a bevy of articles that I owe the geek community right now. I should be writing about Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2 or Batman/Superman: Public Enemies (both are on their way, I promise!), but this last Wednesday, like every Wednesday, I headed to my local comic retailer (Time Warp Comics and Games, 555 Pompton Ave. in Cedar Grove, NJ, 07009. Give a shout out to everyone there) and saw something that needed to be addressed. As I thumbed through the regulars from my pull list, I saw something on the shelf that renewed a fire in my belly I had long since let die down.

After the One More Day Spider-Man story arc, my frustration with Marvel and their treatment of the web head had reached an all-time high. One of the sloppiest re-launches in history had just occurred with Spidey (more like a lobotomy) and almost everything my generation had known and loved about Spider-Man was flushed down the drain along with the fact that Marvel had painted themselves into a corner…again.

Instead of letting the old crone that is Aunt May just die, especially after a séance with Madame Web confirming that Aunt May was at peace, and having Spider-Man take Mary Jane into hiding just like Luke Cage did with Jessica Jones, they have Spidey sell his marriage to Mephisto in order to push the reset button. Every “mistake” that Peter Parker ever made was changed and about 400 issues of continuity were erased.

It was at this instance that I boycotted everything having to do with Spider-Man (except New Avengers, but if Jessica Jones mentions one more time she had a crush on Peter Parker in high school, that is being added to my boycott list as well). I wouldn’t even play as him in Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2 except in the beginning when you have to. I accepted that my favorite Marvel character was dead to me and that maybe it was time I grew up a little and cut down my weekly comics list.

Now, since I’ve boycotted everything past the first couple of issues of the re-launch (they made Mary Jane a superhero for cryin’ out loud!) I don’t know if anything has been resolved because I haven’t read anything, but a small part of me died, much like the small part of Peter Parker that forever knows his greatest mistake was giving up his love for MJ.

My two favorite super-heroes during my early years, like many people in my generation, were Batman and Spider-Man. I believe many people love these characters because of their humanity. Batman in more literal terms, Spider-Man in more figurative terms because even though he had super powers, the gamut of emotions and struggles he had to deal with hit close to home for many of us.

I like to believe they also gave us the most hope. Batman helped us believe there was always a way out of every bad situation as long as you properly prepared yourself. Spider-Man gave us hope because even through all his pain and torment, he still found true love and also found ways to persevere.

This re-launch destroyed Spider-Man in such a way that I can’t look at him anymore without feeling hate in my heart because I can’t relate to a reset button no matter how hard I try.

With that rant out of the way, I go back to why this seething anger and hatred resurfaced months after the initial offense and ensuing boycott. While at the comic store, I noticed on the shelf the first issue of a six issue miniseries. It was the start of how Spider-Man’s infamous Clone Saga SHOULD have played out and it opened with a one page, heartfelt apology from the folks behind it.

I nearly ripped the issue to shreds on the spot, but, for once, a cooler head prevailed and I placed it back on the shelf with no incident.

In my life, the Clone Saga was the first destruction of Spider-Man. At the time though, it was a more forgivable sin for me because I was a small lad and my knowledge of Spider-Man comics was limited to what had inspired me to read Spidey’s comics, the Maximum Carnage arc (which is still the best Spider-Man arc I ever read).

The thing that fueled the anger was the fact that 20 years after the disastrously drawn out plotline, Marvel admitted, in print, to one of their greatest mistakes. As a fan, it was like a slap in the face. An apology will not fix the two years of wasted paper and ink that the Clone Saga caused nor will it bring back any of the characters who were bumped off after the fan base started warming up to them (unless this most recent re-launch decides to do it all over again so this way Marvel can really stomp on our hearts).

I don’t understand why Marvel feels it necessary to try to vindicate their mistakes by pressing the panic button whenever there is some negative backlash for their risk taking. I REALLY don’t understand why they keep bringing these mistakes back up years after they have been forgiven in the collective consciousness only to re-open long since healed scars. All I know is I miss Spider-Man. I miss the REAL Spider-Man. The Spider-Man that I grew up with, that was married to Mary Jane, had to team-up with Venom every now and then to take on Carnage, and could still make some sweet wise-cracks. Get me Tom DeFalco RIGHT NOW!

-Ray Carsillo

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Heroes in a Half-Shell

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Originally Published: September 25, 2009, on 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com), and Lundberg.me

With this being the 25th anniversary of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mirage Studios and Ubisoft, who hold the video game licenses to the franchise, have been going all out with the shell-ebration. This includes a reissuing of some of the old 1980s action figures (which they were very kind to send me a Master Splinter figure; sweet!), a remake of Turtles in Time for the current generation of consoles, and the highly anticipated TMNT: Smash Up for the Nintendo Wii.

Now that TMNT: Smash Up is officially available; I want to take this time to analyze the first original TMNT game for this current generation of consoles. The basic plot of the game is that Master Splinter wants to hold a special ninjitsu tournament to see how far the turtles have progressed in their training. The prize would be any of the items of Splinter’s trophy room. Of course, there is a catch. Splinter, Casey Jones, and April O’ Neill are all going to be participating as well.

As the tournament progresses and a winner is about to crowned, the Turtles receive an emergency call from their old friend the Fugitoid saying he has been captured by Shredder. This is where you take over and progress through various fights before facing down Shredder and some Foot Soldiers.

The plot is simple, as it should be for a fighting game. No one besides Shredder should be the final boss and the fighting mechanics are great. Ubisoft took the same fighting engine that was used in the Super Smash Bros. series so you can have four-player grudge matches and the game flows very smoothly. The game looks beautiful with some awesome settings and great interactivity in the levels.

There are still a few things nagging at me though being a die-hard TMNT fan. First, the generic background music irritates me to no end. Can we PLEASE bring back the 80s theme? There wasn’t even the new cartoon theme. I’ll even take the “Go Ninja Go” rap from Vanilla Ice at this point.

That isn’t my biggest gripe though. My biggest gripe is that after being promised tons of characters, the list was suddenly shortened just before the release and instead of having hidden TMNT characters Ubisoft thought it would be a good idea to have three Raving Rabbids based on TMNT as hidden playable characters. WHAT?!

No Bebop, Rocksteady, Krang (although they might try to pull off the Utrominator as an upgraded Krang without calling him that), Leatherhead, Baxter Stockman, Rat King, General Kragg, Wingnut, Ace Duck, Usagi Yojimbo, Tokka, Rahzar, Slash, OR ANY OTHER BIG CHARACTERS WE CARE ABOUT! Instead, we got the Turtles, Shredder, Splinter, Karai, April, Casey and…that’s pretty much it. There were more stages than there were playable characters.

The most important thing about a fighting game after the fighting system itself is the roster of characters and TMNT: Smash Up sorely disappoints on this front. The majority of TMNT fans are still those of us who grew up on it and not catering to us is always a bad idea. I was really surprised with this considering the great job Ubisoft did when revamping Turtles in Time, but this really depressed me as a hardcore fan. Instead of trying to use this game to promote another franchise, Ubisoft should have concentrated on making this as good a game as possible.

Ratings are based on a score of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best.

Graphics: 8.5: For the most part the game did look beautiful. Some of the settings were a little darker than I liked and when some of the large maps zoomed out to show all the characters on screen, it was hard to tell where everyone was, but for the graphics were mostly crisp.

Audio: 5.0: The generic background music irritated me and made me long for the good old days with the 80s theme song. The SFX were average and the voice acting was solid using the newest cartoon’s voice actors, but they didn’t record a lot of lines so they repeat themselves frequently.

Plot/Plot Development: 7.0: The plot is not usually the strongest point for a fighting game. All you need is a reason to bring a lot of people together to duke it out and this game does that.

Gameplay: 8.0: The fighting mechanics are very good and all the characters have unique combos and special moves to fit their styles. Add in special Ninpo items like daggers, smoke bombs, and some mystical items that randomly appear on screen and you’ll have a solid fighting game experience.

Replay Value: 5.0: An arcade mode, survival mode, and mission mode all make the game worthy of playing, including a nice amount of unlockables, but with none of those unlockables being characters from the TMNT universe, I have to dock this score a lot.

Overall (not an average): 4.0: This game reminds me of the original Smash Bros. for N64 and if this was two generations ago, this would be a great game. Unfortunately, it’s not, so this game is not nearly as good as what we’ve come to expect from fighting games. A lackluster roster takes a lot away from the game and severely hurts the game’s replay value because there are only a few characters to go through the game with. The engine is great and that is the number one aspect for a fighting game, but everything after that falls flat on its face and any TMNT fan will be disappointed at the very least, if not furious, over this game. A more casual fan might want to rent this just to take a look, but probably not.

TMNT: Smash-Up is available now for the Nintendo Wii.

-Ray Carsillo

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Separation Anxiety

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Originally Published: September 22, 2009, on 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com), Lundberg.me, and Examiner.com

With hundreds of possible stories and battlefronts out there, it wasn’t hard for Bungie to continue to expand the already infamous Halo canon. With that, I give you Halo 3: ODST.

With the exploits of Master Chief well documented in the intergalactic struggle against the Covenant, many people forget that this war is fought on many different fronts and has been ongoing for decades.

One of the newest battlefronts is Earth, the last great human stronghold, and recently discovered by the Covenant. So while Master Chief is on the other side of the universe, the war is still going on and has finally hit home.

This is where the ODSTs come in. Labeled for their preferred form of being dropped into battle from their space cruisers, the Orbital Drop Shock Troopers are the best of the best (aside from Master Chief, of course).

Taking place during the time between Halo 2 and Halo 3, Halo 3: ODST (labeled such due to the game using the Halo 3 engine and the inclusion of the Halo 3 multiplayer as well) follows the story of a squad of ODSTs as they race against the Covenant for an artifact in the city of New Mombasa in the East African province (Kenya in real world terms, I believe).

Your main character is simply know as “The Rookie” as you are introduced to the rest of your squad in the opening cinema before you drop into battle. When you arrive the Covenant assault is well under way. After launching from your cruiser to counterattack, a Covenant drop ship warps in and the ensuing shockwave scatters your squad throughout the region. After waking up about 6 hours after crash landing in New Mombasa, how you view Halo is forever changed.

There is still your typical run and gun first-person shooter mayhem and plenty of opportunities for it, but there is also a tremendous new detective and suspense element added to the game. As the Rookie, you befriend an A.I. program called “The Superintendent”. Simpler than Cortana for you Halo vets, the Superintendent still is critical in your mission as he helps tell you the story of how New Mombasa fell and point you in the right direction as he uses street signs, car alarms, ATMs, and other civic devices it can control to steer your path.

After befriending the Superintendent, you put your detective skills (and some sweet night vision goggles) to use as you search New Mombasa for clues to the whereabouts of your squad mates. As you find more items belonging to your mates, from your Captain’s helmet to your sniper’s rifle, you begin to piece together what happened when you got knocked out, all the while exploring Bungie’s largest sandbox environment to date.

The most exciting new aspect of this game comes when you find each item because you actually get to see through the eyes of your other squad mates to see how the items came to be in the condition they’re in and to see the battle unfold. This ensures that you will play as every member of your squad at some point to experience how it feels to be a sniper, a demolitions expert, a heavy gunner, etc. and to see how the full story of the New Mombasa post-invasion unfolds.

With that said, there is also plenty of your old favorite activities returning like hijacking Covenant Banshee or Ghost ships or hopping onto the turret of a UNSC Warthog. There are also randomly generated fights against the whole spectrum of Covenant foes as well as all your favorite weapons being available again from sticky grenades to swiping a downed foe’s Needler.

I will admit to not being obsessed about the Halo series as much as many other people, but I could not put this game down. It only took me about 10 hours to beat the campaign mode, but the time flew by and I was left wanting more.

The graphics are beyond beautiful and the music helps set up an almost film noir, classic detective story kind of feel that you just don’t see nowadays, especially in a futuristic game like Halo.

There isn’t a lot to bring you back to the campaign aside from the Superintendent audio logs, but the new Firefight mode, similar to the Gears of War Horde mode, with endless waves of enemies as you try to improve your score and the included Halo 3 multiplayer will keep most Halo fans happy for a long time to come.

In the end, my only complaint about this game was that it ended too soon for me. Although 10 hours of gameplay is about the norm for most games nowadays, I just didn’t want it to end. I wish I had 20 ODSTs in my squad and that I was still searching for more of their items. This is a must have for any Halo or first-person shooter fan.

Ratings are based on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest.

Graphics: 10.0: I don’t know how they could make this game look more gorgeous. The graphics really helped stress the mystery the game was trying to go for and were spectacular.

Audio: 10.0: The music might set the mood even better than the look of post-invasion New Mombasa. When music can help draw emotion from the player, it has succeeded and this soundtrack does that. Add in the typically strong SFX and great voice acting from all those involved and I can’t dock any points for this.

Plot/Plot Development: 10.0: The plot fits in perfectly with the Halo canon and the way the game leads you along through the different areas of New Mombasa as you search for your squad mates and try to unravel the sub-plots of the New Mombasa invasion makes this one of the more engrossing games I’ve played in a while.

Gameplay: 9.0: The game is glitchless. The controls are relatively natural, but I had some difficulty driving several of the vehicles you get to control at separate points throughout the levels and they felt a lot less natural than when you are on foot.

Replay Value: 7.5: Not wanting to take away from the Halo 3 community, ODST doesn’t support its own original multiplayer and the Firefight mode is really just Horde mode from Gears with a Halo twist. Add in a minimum of collectibles for campaign mode and you have to figure that Halo fans will still be thrilled about this, but more casual fans will probably see this as a one and done.

Overall (not an average): 9.5: Minor complaints aside, this is one of the best games I’ve played in recent memory. I’m starting to form my game of the year predictions and this has to be in the conversation. The story was brilliantly done and the peripherals are perfect. I wanted a little more in terms of replay value, but overall this game is top of the line.

Halo 3: ODST is available now for Xbox 360.

-Ray Carsillo

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Mentally Unstable

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Originally Published: September 16, 2009, on 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com) and Lundberg.me

In military terms, when a soldier is listed as “Section 8” it means he has been discharged for being mentally unfit for duty. It is also the title of the new first-person shooter from TimeGate Studios and SouthPeak Games.

The reason why the game is called Section 8 is because you play as a special brand of marines several hundred years in the future. These super soldiers are the first ones in and the last ones out of any situation (like modern marines), but the squad is known as “Section 8” due to their disregard for their own well being. Oh, one other minor detail: they are rocketed out of ships hovering several miles above planets at the speed of sound and usually crash land into the terrain without pulling their parachutes. “Section 8” makes a little more sense now, eh?

Of course, several hundreds years in the future, their body armor protects them from such punishing collisions, but these guys wouldn’t be deployed if there weren’t some dangerous situations to deal with once they get planet-side and the armor and personal shields can’t stop every bullet or energy blast.

Along with the awesome effect of starting out every level and multiplayer spawn with being shot like a bullet into the battle, you can choose up to six different weapon configurations or customize your own if the six provided don’t float your boat.

The interesting thing with this game is that it focuses on the multiplayer aspects and the campaign mode was more a secondary feature. If you’re looking for a single player campaign along the lines of Halo or Gears of War, you will be sorely disappointed. This game is all about the interaction with other people and changing strategies on the fly in between spawns, whether playing alone or in multiplayer.

The campaign mode does give you a little depth to the situation that the “Section 8” squad finds themselves in and who you are fighting against, but it shouldn’t take you more than a couple of hours to blow through the campaign as it is really nothing more than a warm-up or glorified practice mode before you get into the multiplayer.

With up to 32 players on the battlefield at once, the multiplayer impresses without a hint of lag as you work to hack enemy consoles, assassinate enemy generals, and set up mobile bases and call in tanks for support against all possible foes. With a constantly changing battlefield and missions for bonus points popping up at random, the multiplayer will keep you entertained for a long while as no situation is ever the same twice.

Of course, supporting such a large multiplayer means that a lot of disk space is occupied and that means the peripherals suffer some. The graphics and sound effects are average at best. It’s difficult to tell enemies apart from terrain at times and the music and SFX are generic. The voice acting in the single-player campaign is alright, nothing special though.

The selling point for this game is definitely the multiplayer and so if you are a fan of first-person shooters with huge arenas and settings and devote hours of time towards the multiplayer function on most of your games, then this game is for you. If you are looking for an immersive single player campaign experience with a huge background story, then you will want to steer clear of Section 8.

Ratings are based on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best.

Graphics: 7.5: There is nothing spectacular about the visuals for Section 8. The players themselves are nice looking, but a lot of simple backgrounds and terrains to keep the strain on the 32-player multiplayer to a minimum keeps this at an average score.

Audio: 7.0: Generic SFX and lackluster music is definitely not the highlight of this gaming experience. The voice acting is decent in the single player campaign, but not good enough to boost this average display.

Plot/Plot Development: 4.0: There isn’t much to the plot. You’re a suicidal soldier in the “Section 8” squad and you are trying to quell some rebel forces. The plot flew by as the campaign only takes up a couple hours of your time, but again, this game focused solely on the multiplayer and the campaign was more of an after-thought.

Gameplay: 8.0: The game flows smoothly and is especially impressive when in full 32-player mayhem. The lock-on and targeting systems can be a little frustrating at times so I have to dock a couple of points, but overall this is an enjoyable experience.

Replay Value: 8.0: If you love multiplayer, this is the game for you. Constantly changing scenarios and being allowed to update your strategies on the fly between spawns makes this a multiplayer dream. I have to take a couple points off for there really being nothing in the campaign to bring you back after the first play through.

Overall (not an average): 6.5: If you are not a multiplayer fanatic, it is hard to recommend this game as the single player campaign isn’t very appeasing at all. This is not Gears of War or Halo. However, if you love the thought of ever-changing multiplayer scenarios, love interacting with people online, and have an Xbox Live gold account or a sweet modem, then this game is going to be worth a look, but I would rent it before buying it to make sure.

Section 8 is available now for Xbox 360 and PC.

-Ray Carsillo

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