Originally Published: October 28, 2009, 1050ESPN.com (Now ESPNNewYork.com) and Lundberg.me

As mentioned in my article on the new South Park video game, there is also a new season of South Park going on now. Unfortunately, Comedy Central’s show to bridge the gap for last season between the foul-mouth youths of South Park and the satirical wit of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart was Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, and as predicted by yours truly, sputtered out after only a season as they burned through the same jokes over and over again.

Well, you can’t have a gap in your strongest block of programming, so Comedy Central has taken their chances this time with an even raunchier comedy, Secret Girlfriend.

The basic premise is that this sitcom revolves around YOU. At least, it is supposed to. Shot in a first-person perspective, you live somewhere in California where the sun is always shining and the ladies are always wearing something skimpy. Along with your two roommates/best friends, the sitcom follows you as you attempt to attain all that most guys in their 20s think about: booze and babes. All the while you also try to keep your hot, but bat-guano insane, ex-girlfriend from mucking up your life. You also find a meaningful relationship early on, but must keep her hidden from your ex-girlfriend to protect hers and your safety (hence the title of the show).

The show follows you to parties, clubs, strip clubs, and your apartment complex as your roommates try to use get rich quick schemes and viral videos to help them on their quest for their ultimate one-night stand where as you don’t have that difficulty due to your natural good looks and charm. You are thrown into constantly sexually provocative situations with random girls at bars, the yoga practitioner across the hall, and even on the car ride to wherever you are headed that day. All in all, you live a pretty sweet life.

I’ve watched the first three episodes of Secret Girlfriend because I wanted to see if there is more to it than just potty humor and hot women. There is not. And that might just make it a success. Of course, there is also a more probable chance, much like it’s time-slot predecessors, that it will burn through these jokes much too quickly and grow old in the minds of its viewers. That’s probably why the hot women are there, to help cover up the quickly aged jokes and situations. Then again, many of us have cable modems at this point and can see much more than what this show gives us for free.

So there really isn’t a lot of substance in Secret Girlfriend. In fact, Secret Girlfriend makes me frustrated in many ways. For example, I am not handsome and I am not charming and, in fact, most women find me kind of creepy (“Mua ha ha ha ha” seems to be a bad pick-up line). It really ticks me off seeing guys like the guy you’re supposed to be in the show, who have no job, loser friends, and no life, chasing every piece of tail they see and succeeding. Especially since I know guys like that in real life. I don’t want to see that on my TV!

Also, none of my neighbors practice yoga. And if they do, I sure don’t want to see it because I am surrounded by geriatrics in my neighborhood. They’re sweet people, but there isn’t a single, hot, 20-year-old in spandex among them. And don’t even get me started on the hot chick who just wants to hang around, eat pizza, and play GTA 4.

Since I believe most guys fall in-between the “playa” you are in this show and my own relationship-challenged category, I don’t see a lot guys being able to relate at all to the character we are supposed to be in this show.

I see a lot of guys turning Secret Girlfriend off and heading over to their broadband PCs for their hot chick fix. The jokes will get tired very quickly and the insane situations the characters find themselves in will run out faster than the writers can come up with them and so my official prediction is that I don’t see Secret Girlfriend lasting more than a season or two.

New episodes of Secret Girlfriend can be seen (for now) at 10:30 PM every Wednesday night after South Park on Comedy Central.

-Ray Carsillo