Tag Archive: movies


Ray Smash Puny Movies!

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April 18, 2010

Originally Published: February 6, 2009, for Collider.com and 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com)

Its efforts like this from Marvel that have almost made me “Hulk-out” on many an occasion. I will give them some credit; their timing is impeccable. A few months after the release of the solid Incredible Hulk remake with Edward Norton on DVD, days before the New York Comic Con, and only a couple of months before Wolverine: Origins hits theatres, Marvel Studios drops this little wannabe gem on us called Hulk VS.

“Versus who?” you ask. Well, who do you want to see fight the Hulk? This is after all the question that the folks at Marvel seemed to ask themselves since this effort is just a huge piece of fan fiction to drive the fan-boys into frenzied fits at comic-conventions.

Hulk VS. is a straight to DVD release that contains not one, but TWO “movies”. I have to put those magical punctuations around the word “movies” with this because something that can be strung across a pair of Saturday morning cartoon episodes should not be considered an actual movie. To try to make this geek-gasm on a disc worth your money, Marvel paired two separate Hulk adventures onto this DVD and even then it times out to only 82 minutes.

First, we see the not-so-jolly green giant take on the man who is “the best at what he does, and what he does isn’t very nice”. A pre-X-MEN Wolverine has been tasked by his Department H headmasters to locate and subdue a monster who is wreaking havoc in the Canadian countryside. Dept. H is a fictional spin on Canada’s CSIS, by the way. Fictional, of course, because who expects Canada to have any REAL intelligence agency? After picking up the scent, Wolverine begins to track the Hulk across the Canadian Rockies.

The action quickly picks up as Wolverine finds a quivering Bruce Banner in the woods and he wants to know why there is a half-naked man in freezing temperatures out in the middle of nowhere. Wolverine’s subsequent threats get under Banner’s skin, transforming Banner into his worse half and the highlight of the “movie” ensues with a defining battle taking place with moments from all the Hulk vs. Wolverine battles that have happened over the past 30 years, again catering to the fan-boys. Before it can end, Sabertooth, Lady Deathstrike, Deadpool, and Omega Red appear out of nowhere. We then see a montage of Wolverine’s origin story, which is not explained so if you are unfamiliar with the character, you end up lost, confused, and frustrated because I thought the Hulk was supposed to be the main character here and we just had every major bad guy and moment from Wolverine’s history thrown into a five minute montage. The story then continues in a Wolverine and Hulk TEAM-UP against the Weapon X rejects. After they are defeated, the Hulk and Wolverine go back to fighting each other, for no apparent reason, and the credits start to roll on a freeze frame a la Rocky vs. Apollo Creed like they were two friends sparring in some eternal duel.

This first DVD is a complete and utter disappointment. The things that made me furious as a comics fan far outweigh the handful of positives in this. When all the special features vignettes outlast the actual “movie” by almost 20 minutes each, you know you got off on the wrong foot.

The only positives were that the animation style kept in line with the popular Japanese style that many American animation studios have adapted in recent history (starting in 1992 with Batman: The Animated Series and continuing through most major superhero cartoons up to this point) and living up to those standards, they tried to make it play like a comic story arc, and the introduction of Deadpool to animation.

The negatives include the horrible character development, the fact that the name of the title is Hulk vs. Wolverine and it ended up being Hulk and Wolverine vs. Weapon X, the horrible animation model for Sabertooth, who looked nearly the same size as Wolverine, the fact that the entire movie could have been done over the course of a Saturday morning special, and you just have a frustrating, disjointed viewing experience as if you were reading a comic story arc, but missed several issues. If you are a diehard comics fan then you will probably be able to sit through it because you already know the back stories and will recognize the many, many references the “movie” makes to the comics, but if you are a casual fan, this would not be for you. Add in a few typical behind the scenes vignettes and special commentary packages and the special edition part of this disc is not very special at all.

The second piece in this two part Hulk-fest sees Mr. “You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry” against the mighty Thor, the Norse God of Thunder in the aptly titled: Hulk vs. Thor. This second “movie” was a lot better than the first. With a narrated opening montage that explains all you need to know about Asgard (realm of the Norse gods) and the characters in play, the plot is revealed within the first five minutes and the rest is non-stop smashing. Loki, the Norse God of Mischief and Evil has separated Bruce Banner from the essence that is the Hulk and unleashed him on Asgard during its weakest hour.

Without Banner to keep the Hulk tethered to humanity, the Hulk rampages throughout Asgard, laying waste to all in his path and all that stands between Hulk and the complete destruction of Asgard is Thor. The Hulk, being the only thing that could compete with a god, handily smashes Thor. Loki is betrayed though by his minion, the nicely drawn Enchantress, who revives Thor because it seems she’s got a crush on Mr. Goldilocks. She reveals what Loki has done and the rest of the movie is cut between Thor trying to reunite Banner with the Hulk and Hulk just laying waste to the rest of Asgard’s army as he makes a beeline towards the temporarily incapacitated Odin (near omnipotent king of the gods) with Thor finally succeeding in the end.

This “movie” was much better in terms of establishing the plot and giving the heroes an objective. Still though, being only 45 minutes, again this could have been done over a pair of Saturday morning specials and we could have been done with it. Instead, Marvel wanted to show off the new blood special effects that they have for animation so they could get a PG-13 rating on a cartoon and therefore make it so they couldn’t put it on network Saturday mornings and mass produce these ridiculously overpriced DVDs. Again, the special feature vignettes are just “How we produced 82 minutes of par animation and charged you $24.99 for it” and they last longer than the actual “movie”.

I have to end on the note that I really hope they do better with future releases in the “VS.” series Marvel is planning. On an individual basis, Hulk vs. Wolverine gets a 1 out of 5 and Hulk vs. Thor gets a 2 out of 5 to average it out to a whopping 1.5 out of 5. Unless you are a hardcore Marvel fan-boy, I would probably avoid these or rent them at most.

-Ray Carsillo

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He Knows If You’ve Been Bad or Good…

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Originally Published: December 8, 2008, on 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com)

And for your own sake, you had better hope he thinks you’ve been good, otherwise…BAM! Marvel Comics has felt that to help get us all in the spirit, why not treat us with the release of the most blood-thirsty, most gory, most over-the-top, brutal display there has been in theatres, since, possibly, ever. Just in time for the holidays, Punisher: Warzone has been released into theatres. Blood red is a Christmas color, right?

When told about this movie, you are not expecting much because this is the third iteration of the Punisher in the past 20 years with the last one coming in 2004. Marvel did not openly say this was a sequel to that Punisher, but it did come up with a concurrent plot from the last movie so this movie will be treated as a direct sequel by most comic aficionados.

This time around Ray Stevenson (from HBO’s Rome) plays the death-dealing, skull-wearing, anti-hero with his own sense of justice. It is hinted that this movie takes place in current times so it can be assumed that it is about four-six years further down the line in the Punisher timeline from the last movie. Still haunted by the murder of his family by the mafia, Frank Castle continues his one man rampage as the Punisher against those the law cannot prosecute. Castle is so sick of the red tape that he figures he would show that he has nothing personal against the color.

At this point he has desensitized himself so much that all he has is his mission: to obliterate those he deems worthy of punishment. Those who are helpful to the mission, like his arms dealer, Microchip (sitcom veteran, Wayne Knight), are the only contact he has with the real world as he continues his personal war.

After an impressive opening scene to set the gory tone of the movie, Castle hears from a sympathetic cop that the mafia has bought off the docks at a glass recycling plant for the evening and that something big could be going down. With a chance to take down one of the mafia’s higher lieutenants, Castle jumps at the chance.

In the firefight that ensues upon his arrival, Castle accidently takes out an undercover FBI officer and, enraged that he crossed his own personal line by taking out one of the good guys, he takes out his ire on Billy the Buete, a mafia lieutenant more concerned about his looks than his earnings. Poor Billy ends up on the bottom of a glass grinding machine and has all the skin ripped off of his face. We’ll say he doesn’t take well to the skin grafts and born is JIGSAW (played by Dominic West from HBO’s The Wire; is there anyone else wondering if the casting director has premium cable?).

Driven to the brink of insanity, Jigsaw begins his own war, against the Punisher. He recruits every gangbanger, thug, lowlife, and his insane brother (and third tier Marvel villain) Loony Bin Jim in an attempt to take down the greatest threat to the new mafia empire Jigsaw wishes to build.

As a die-hard comic book geek, whenever a new comic book movie comes out, I admit it will be scrutinized a little more than a regular movie simply because the storyline has already been written out. Punisher: Warzone holds up to these impossible comic storyline standards relatively well.

The Punisher lays waste to every lowlife he sees without any remorse or even a second thought. Since this is an older, more hardened Punisher than in the last movie, this is very accurate to the comics. The Punisher is a merciless vigilante who takes the law into his own hands at every turn. A Vietnam veteran trained in many different forms of combat and nearly every handheld firearm known to man, Frank Castle uses his extreme training to bring about an extreme form of justice. And from the get-go, that’s the best way to describe this movie: extreme.

The Punisher is, simply, a killing machine that does not stop until the credits roll. It is a 1 hour and 47 minute bloodbath with overkill being the favored method of doom for the thugs unfortunate enough to be “punished”. It is so over the top that most of the people in the theatre, myself included, just broke out laughing during the movie.

The characters in the movie and what happens to them is very accurate in terms of the comic, as well, except for Jigsaw. How The Punisher deals with Jigsaw in the end was never done in the comics and really irritated many fans of the series, although it did follow in line with how things were going with the overkill in the movie.

Another low point was how many ideas were seemingly stolen from other action movies. No “bullet time” effects were used (as if we haven’t seen enough of those in the last few years), but The Punisher hanging himself off a chandelier and spinning around, unloading bullets into mobsters as he goes was stolen directly from The Boondock Saints. At least it was stolen from one of the best action movies of recent history, but still, stealing is stealing and Punisher: Warzone’s score gets punished because of it.

Another irritating detail was that in the middle of the night, The Punisher would be walking down 6th Ave., with all his guns on display, for the entire world to see. Boy! Doesn’t Plaxico Burress wish he lived in that world right now? What was the costume designer thinking? A trench coat would have been “too much of a stretch”? Because him walking around with an AK-47 and several Berettas on display in the middle of New York City gives a great sense of realism.

Aside from those gripes, if you’re looking for a movie to just vegetate in front of for a while, Punisher: Warzone would succeed. For the most part, the movie does give you a pretty accurate depiction of the Punisher from the comics and sometimes you just need a movie chock full of mindless violence and enough fake blood to fill the Mississippi River. The acting was fairly solid: Stevenson was passable, Dominic West was great as Jigsaw, and all the rest of the cast did a great job supporting the two headliners.

If you’re looking for an action movie with a minimum of dialogue and more explosions than you can count and need an alternative from the happy, cheery, romantic comedy that seems to dominate this time of year, then this movie is not a bad choice. If you’re a die-hard of the series, then you’ll just walk away nodding your head with satisfaction. I can see this becoming a late night, B-movie classic in no time.

Punisher: Warzone gets: 2.5 out of 5.

-Ray Carsillo

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Musical Checkmate

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Originally Published: December 4, 2008, on Collider.com and 1050ESPN.com (now ESPNNewYork.com)

Cadillac Records chronicles the rise of Chess Records and its recording artists. It’s a feverish tale of race, sex, violence, and rock ‘n’ roll in Chicago of the 1950s and 60s as it follows the exciting, but turbulent, lives of some of America’s great musical legends.

The story centers around how the blues became popular and would pave the way for what would be rock ‘n’ roll and opens up on Chicago of 1947 where an ambitious young Polish immigrant bar owner, Leonard Chess (Academy Award Winner, Adrian Brody), hires a talented, but undisciplined, blues combo led by guitarist Muddy Waters (Jeffrey Wright) and harmonica player Little Walter (Columbus Short).

Chess arranges a recording session for Waters and when his early recordings start rocketing up the R and B charts, Chess Records is born.
As time goes on, Chess treats his musicians like family, buying each one a brand new Cadillac when they record their first hit (hence the name of the movie), but the line between professional and personal matters becomes blurred on many an occasion.

Finally, in 1955, one of Chess’s artists crosses over into mainstream America, a skinny guy from St. Louis with a funny “duck walk” named Chuck Berry (Mos Def). Berry’s catchy, country-tinged tunes mark the birth of rock ‘n’ roll. When Berry is arrested at the height of his career, however, Chess has to find someone else to bridge the cross over gap.

Enter Etta James (Beyonce Knowles), an emotionally scarred young woman whose vulnerability tempts Chess’s loyalty and concern in unexpected ways.

As rock ‘n’ roll grows more popular, the Chess artists find that booze, women, and the high life have taken their toll and as tragedy looms, Leonard Chess leaves the music business finally in the late 60s. The blues and rock ‘n’ roll would live on though, having forever changed the landscape of American music.

Now that you know what you’ll be getting yourself into for 1 hour and 48 minutes, let me tell you why you should see this movie.

This story accurately chronicles the roots of one of the strongest aspects of our culture: the music. It tells a story that has needed telling for a long time, since most people do not know the details about the origin of our modern music and the suffering that many people went through to refine some of these great sounds.

This movie gives you the highs and the lows that you would expect from any good drama and they’re woven beautifully in-between some classic songs that will have your foot tapping in the theatre.

Along with great music, you get great acting from this movie. Nearly all songs played in the movie were played by the actors themselves, there was no lip synching going on here. And since most characters were forced onto an emotional roller coaster, you really got to see the range of many of these actors.

“It was daunting. You wanted to have the fresh, green Walter to going to where he went really dark. That’s why it was a challenge, but that’s why I wanted to do it. It was going to challenge me and Hollywood’s perception of me,” said Columbus Short at the NYC premiere when asked why he took the role considering the range of Walter’s life he was portraying in the film.

The struggles for many of these artists was not just making a living through music, but also trying to be accepted in the segregated America of the 1950s and 60s and the trials that came with that. Not only trying to find acceptance within their own communities, but with white America was a struggle on many different levels.

“When you see him singing, you see him alive and well and the performance side is who these man really are, but you have to survive and you’re surviving segregation and heavy racism and it was a poor time. The blues is what helped them get through it. If they weren’t singing, they’d be in the fields picking cotton in the hot baking sun. That was their everyday life. And that’s what this film does on multiple layers. It gives you the music, the time, the good feeling you get from that music because sometimes they would be drinking and it would come out as happy music and sometimes it would be deeply painful and you would hear the pain in it. This music influenced Elvis Presley, the Beatles, the Who, and in the end these men have to come back and pay homage and half the riffs you hear in this film, you do a double take and go ‘oh my god, that is where that came from?’ and some of them didn’t even try to hide it when they took it, they just took it,” commented Eamonn Walker, who plays Howlin’ Wolf in the film, on the struggles the Chess Records artists went through.

There was a lot of stir around this movie as well not only for the touchy subject matter this movie deals with, but also because Hollywood loves making a stink whenever someone gains or loses weight for a role. Beyonce had to put on 20 pounds to play the legendary Etta James and I promise you she still looks amazing in the movie and, of course, she had no problem pulling off the singing. The real question would come with having to play such a troubled character on screen. I can tell you, she made it seem like it was second nature.

“I had to think about things that really meant something to me. I had to think of things that were painful and emotional and it was difficult because I would go home with swollen eyes and a big attitude every night, but it definitely paid off,” said Beyonce about her inspiration.

The only problem with this movie I had was that there were so many different characters that I felt you never followed one long enough to really develop the relationship you need to have as a viewer to care about the characters. Most of these people wore their hearts on their sleeves, but you never really see where they get the shirt from.

Now, in the movie’s defense, to chronicle the 20 year history of one of the most influential music companies in history, you would expect to see a lot of different characters and shifting personalities. To remedy the lack of being able to develop the characters then, they should have stressed the greatest character of all, the company itself. To have some of the most influential musicians of the 20th century all congregate at one point or another under this one roof is remarkable and not nearly emphasized enough in this movie for my liking and because there never is a single character fleshed out to the point that you feel strongly for them, the movie leaves a little something more to be desired when all is said and done.

However, when the credits are rolling, this is a solid movie. It portrays everyone involved with the dignity and class they deserve while still remaining true to the story that was Chess Records and the birth of rock ‘n’ roll during one of the ugliest times in American history. Everyone involved gives amazing performances and the music makes you want to run out and buy the soundtrack immediately. Anyone who has heard any rock ‘n’ roll from the past 40 years should see this movie, especially if they do not know where it all started. Look for Cadillac Records in theatres nationwide on Friday, December 5th. Cadillac Records gets: 4 out of 5.

-Ray Carsillo

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