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EGM Review: WWE ’12

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November 29, 2011

If you smell what the WWE is cookin’

After a decade-long brand divide, the WWE’s recently made strides to show unity with their RAW and SmackDown shows and pay-per-views. In response, their yearly videogame’s dropped the annual SmackDown vs. RAW title to hammer home this brand solidarity—but that’s not all that’s changed in THQ’s annual wrestling sim. WWE ’12 finds a way to take the great customization and storyline strides that last year’s game made and refines them to provide the most authentic wrestling simulation to date.

Of course, what’s the first thing any player does with a typical WWE game? Check out the Create-a-Superstar feature! Even non-wrestling fans get caught up in the fun of creating a grappler from the ground up, and this mode sees much of the detail of previous versions return, along with new logos, designs, and physical-feature models to hit an even wider range of possibilities. But WWE ’12 also adds the new Create-an-Arena mode. Not only can you whip up your own wrestler from scratch, but you can also dedicate a squared circle to your grappler—or any of your real life-favorites. Hulkamania can run wild again with a ring drenched in red and gold, or you can show off your Macho Madness with a rainbow electronic ticker in honor of the dearly departed Randy Savage—and this is just scratching the surface of a mode I poured several hours into alone. And you can once again create logos, finishers, movesets, and even your own intro videos for the Titantron—and it’s all shareable via the WWE Creations online feature.

Another key to making this the most authentic WWE experience yet? The WWE Universe and Road to WrestleMania options. Now featuring stories that more closely mimic those you might actually see each week on RAW or SmackDown, these modes make every match and decision truly count. Maybe you’ll try to bring Sheamus back into the limelight of the WWE Title chase or push your created character to the top of the ranks and make him a legend in his own right. The Road to WrestleMania’s been trimmed, though—instead of choosing from one of five superstar storylines, you simply press play and begin the near-endless simulations of what you might see from varied wrestlers’ points of view.

But the action in the ring’s where you might see the biggest step up. The controls now feature a more casual-friendly A-button grapple prompt instead of the second analog stick, which actually gives the game a bit more of an arcadey feel, as you’ll find yourself button-mashing a bit more than you’re used to—the experience almost hearkens back to the No Mercy and WWF Attitude days in some ways. This might bother some people, but it isn’t striking enough that you won’t be able to adjust. The in-ring action’s further augmented by improvements like “wake-up taunts” to help set up finishers, better movement on the ring ropes, and an onscreen presentation that more closely mimics the actual WWE TV shows.

One element that’s definitely been criticized in past iterations, though—and it crops up again here, unfortunately—is the collision system. You’ll still see the occasional “quicksand” glitch where a wrestler’s suddenly waist deep in the mat, while an Irish whip against the steel steps can have you or your foe quivering and quaking for several seconds. Still, these moments happen more rarely than I’ve seen in any previous version of the game.

WWE ’12 is strong coat of polish on last year’s game, and when you combine that with even more customization and creation features and a beefed-up roster of several dozen wrestlers (including old standbys and never-before-digitized legends, like one of my personal favorites, the man they call Vader), and you’ve got by far the best WWE wrestling simulation we’ve seen to date—one that’ll layeth the smacketh down upon any and all wrestling haters.

SUMMARY: Some control improvements and fleshed out game play modes highlight the deepest WWE videogame experience yet.

  • THE GOOD: The most realistic WWE experience yet
  • THE BAD: Some collision and control issues remain
  • THE UGLY: Some of the created characters already uploaded to the servers

SCORE: 9.0

WWE ‘ 12 is available on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and Nintendo Wii. Primary version reviewed was on the Xbox 360.

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EGM Review: Saints Row: The Third

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Giant strippers, manapults, and luchadores…

You’d be hard-pressed to find a game that matches the debauchery and excess of Saints Row: The Third. Pushing its own boundaries and depravity to the limit, this sandbox action-adventure goes to great lengths to parody anything and everything in gaming and pop culture—even itself—all in the name of entertainment. Whether you’re driving around with a tiger in the passenger seat to prove your bravery, participating in Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax Japanese-style game show to earn big bucks, or then using said Professor’s manapult to suck up unsuspecting NPCs into a giant cannon and using their carcasses as projectiles, this game doesn’t exactly get the meaning of “overkill.” But all that wouldn’t mean a thing if the game weren’t fun—and, thankfully, it’s an absolute blast.

Saints Row: The Third picks up shortly after the end of the second game. The Saints, the street gang from the first two entries, aren’t persecuted or hunted like you might think—far from it. Instead, they’re treated like celebrities—or even superheroes. So when they go to rob a bank in their hometown of Stilwater, it’s more like a day at the office. But things quickly go awry when more police than the Saints have ever seen drop in on them, and they realize this bank robbery isn’t quite what they had in mind when it came to putting in some overtime. It seems a new crime organization called the Syndicate’s moved into town and after some action sequences that would put Nathan Drake to shame, the Saints find themselves having to rebuild in the sleepy harbor town of Steelport where they’ll reclaim their criminal empire before taking revenge on those who have wronged them.

Unlike in the previous Saints Row games, The Third’s designed to be more of an open-ended experience, with multiple paths that affect the ending. You’ve still got three rival gangs to deal with, but now they’re all working together to form the Syndicate: the Luchadores, a Mexican-wrestling-themed gang led by a masked man named Killbane, the cyberterrorist Deckers, and the gun-running and human-trafficking Eurogang known as Morningstar. But instead of picking these gangs off one by one like in previous installments, you’ll often have to deal with them on certain missions at the same time as you pursue the larger goal of conquering Steelport. And your gang wars will erupt to the point that later on, a fourth threat will make itself known—a special military unit, STAG, designed specifically to put you down.

As great as the campaign is, it’s still got its share of problems. Considering the scale of the world, you can forgive some glitches that crop up from time to time in the game, but some definitely irritate—and there’s nothing more frustrating than having to start a mission over because your cover mechanics glitch or your car suddenly hits an invisible pothole.

Competitive multiplayer, a staple of the first two entries, has been removed in favor of an emphasis on co-op. The campaign co-op does play very smoothly and isn’t really affected by friends dropping in and out of your “gang” over the course of the game, but honestly, I’d still just rather play by myself, since most of my friends and I aren’t on the same gaming level.

To make up for the lack of the multiplayer, The Third offers another co-op option aptly dubbed “Whored Mode.” And, just like that certain-sounding mode from that other game that revolves around wave after wave of enemies, Whored Mode’s best played with friends, where you can enjoy the absurdity together as you take down giant strippers, midgets in hot-dog costumes, or zombies—just because everyone loves killing zombies. If I had to choose, though, I’d still pick the competitive multiplayer aspect over Whored Mode, no matter how funny it may be—it just doesn’t provide the challenge of taking on a human opponent.

Despite my gripes with the multiplayer options, the 10-to-12-hour campaign’s still very much worth the price of admission, and it needs to be seen to be believed—trust me, this game’s done more than enough to earn its “M” rating from the ESRB.

SUMMARY: Not perfect by any means—but still a fun, off-the-wall sandbox that’s more than worth the price of admission.

  • THE GOOD: As over-the-top a game as you’ll ever play
  • THE BAD: Glitches sometimes get in the way of gameplay
  • THE UGLY: The zany enemies you’ll find in the new Whored Mode

SCORE: 8.0

Saints Row: The Third is available on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and PC. Primary version reviewed was on the Xbox 360.

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EGM Review: Medieval Moves: Deadmund’s Quest

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No skin, lots of bones, and a little bit of heart

It’s rare that you see a game revolving around motion controls that also attempts to feature a deep, fleshed-out story like Medieval Moves: Deadmund’s Quest. Unfortunately, you all too often see these types of games fall into the same gameplay traps that this one falls into as well—missteps that take away from the overall experience.

Medieval Moves: Deadmund’s Quest is set in a fictional medieval kingdom where a boy named Edmund lives in the castle. Although he’s an orphan, Edmund’s built up an almost King Arthur–esque mystique, and he’s now destined for great things—including inheriting the crown. But for now, Edmund’s still too young and is simply tasked with guarding a mysterious, powerful stone that contains mystical powers. Guided by the ghost of a past king, the castle chef, and several other allies, Edmund’s well on his way to being a just, beloved ruler. That is, until a nefarious necromancer attacks the castle with an army of undead skeletons. Claiming the mysterious stone and its power for his own, the necromancer curses the kingdom and adds them to his skeletal army. But Edmund’s fortuitously protected by a magical stone pendant, so although his flesh melts away, his mind’s free from the necromancer’s control. Jokingly renaming himself “Deadmund,” he sets off on a quest to save his future subjects—and himself—from the dastardly deeds of this depraved demon.

I’ll admit that some aspects of Deadmund’s Quest flat-out impressed me for a motion-controlled game. The cartoony graphics work well with the lighthearted  writing—and when you couple that with some surprisingly competent voice acting by all involved, this game’s definitely aurally and visually pleasing.

That’s why it’s such a shame that, just like many other motion-controlled adventures, Deadmund’s Quest ends up being held back by the very technology that allegedly empowers it. The most disappointing part? It’s designed almost like a pseudo action-dventure game but instead comes off like an on-rails Legend of Zelda. This is almost an oxymoron—you can’t explore your surroundings or talk to townsfolk, and you must always engage enemies head-on. You’re simply herded forward to area after area, where you slash away at more of the necromancer’s skeleton horde with your sword or fire away with your arrows. The lack of gameplay diversity makes progression a dull grind almost immediately—you just won’t find the same variety as in Zelda or other more robust fantasy experiences.

And the tedious grind’s only compounded by major control problems, as too many different actions are assigned to various Move motions. Pointing up lets you drink milk to restore health, pointing down pulls out a grappling hook for jumping over walls, pulling back brings up your shield, and swinging away unsheathes your sword. But since you need to attack some enemies vertically or horizontally, you’ll often find yourself suddenly drinking milk in the middle of battle when you don’t want to, dropping your shield when trying to defend yourself, or hacking away when trying to pull out the grappling hook.

Medieval Moves: Deadmund’s Quest has a wonderful concept, but like so many motion-controlled games before it, this one’s subject to a poorly implemented gimmick—it would’ve been much more enjoyable with both a regular controller and an open world instead.

SUMMARY: A fun, lighthearted medieval adventure held back by Move technology and on-rails design.

  • THE GOOD: Humorous characters and an entertaining plot
  • THE BAD: On-rails action and epic adventure really don’t mix
  • THE UGLY: Undead skeleton monsters everywhere!

SCORE: 6.0

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EGM Review: Carnival Island

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Carnies—now in videogame form!

When it comes to motion-controlled games, the experiences geared at casual audiences usually end up as the most polished, user-friendly products. Of course, you’ve also got the games you typically tire of quickly and don’t pull out again unless you’ve got company over and are looking to goof off—and Carnival Island is a perfect example.

This carnival-midway simulator sees you take control of a male or female avatar tasked with bringing color and life back to long-forgotten Carnival Island. As you play classic carnival and boardwalk offerings like skee-ball, coin toss, and ring toss, you’ll unlock various variations on these classic games. If you do well enough in each variation of the eight carnival contests—over 35 technically different games in all—around the island, you’ll succeed in bringing happiness and joy back to this carny paradise. OK, so the backstory isn’t the freshest idea—though, hey, how many games involving carnies have you ever seen?—but it works as an excuse to play these games without actually having to go to a carnival or boardwalk and drop hard-earned cash on rigged games that you’ll never win. Plus, each stuffed animal you win in Carnival Island will come to life and serve as a cheerleading sidekick. Try winning something like that down at the Jersey Shore!

But even though this one’s clearly targeted at a very casual audience, Carnival Island actually offers a surprising amount of polish. The anime-inspired cutscenes that play as you unlock various sections of the island are actually very pretty—and almost enough to keep you playing once the gimmick of the cheesy carnival games wears off, just so you can see the next one…almost. But, fittingly in a game clearly geared toward the casual audience and children, the bright colors and themes really shine through.

And although the controls are probably the simplest you’ll find in even most casual of casual titles—most of these carnival showdowns are all about flicking your wrist or moving one arm around—they do their job well enough. I mean, who ever broke a sweat playing ring toss? Still, it feels good when you start racking up 100 points per ball in skee-ball or flipping the coin in the cup perfectly each time in coin toss.

The big flaw of Carnival Island—like many of these minigame-based, motion-controlled, gimmick-driven, budget, soon-to-be-bargain-bin titles—is the fact there just isn’t enough replay value. In order to try to appeal to the lowest common denominator, the difficulty’s set to preschool levels, and the rewards are few and far between. So, after a few hours of skee-ball, you’re ready to either hang up your Move controller or move on to a real game. Hey, maybe that’s why the Move is so aptly named—because, after playing most of the games that require it, you want to MOVE on to regular games.

Carnival Island certainly isn’t a bad game, but it’s just not something you’ll end up devoting a ton of time to in the long run, especially if you’re a hardcore gamer. If you’ve got a kid or a niece or nephew who really likes casual games—or maybe a grandparent on the opposite end of the spectrum—well, they probably have a Wii. But if they do, for some reason, have a PS3 and a Move, this might be more their speed.

SUMMARY: This carny simulator’s as simple as can be—but it’s surprisingly fun and definitely helps bolster the Move’s casual appeal.

  • THE GOOD: Responsive controls and fun games
  • THE BAD: Simple—and can get tiresome quickly
  • THE UGLY: The handlebar mustaches of the carniefolk

SCORE: 7.0

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EGM Review: Assassin’s Creed: Revelations

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Back to the past

Assassin’s Creed may well be the greatest videogame history-based epic we’ve ever seen. Each chapter finds a way to add nuance and layers to some of history’s most intriguing moments. Full of rich, vibrant characters outshined only by the detailed re-created and authentic historic cityscapes, Assassin’s Creed has become a favorite of gamers and history buffs everywhere due to its intriguing plot and stellar gameplay. So, how does the fourth chapter in this landmark franchise stand up overall?

Revelations picks up shortly after the end of Brotherhood. Modern-day protagonist Desmond Miles’ extended use of the Animus has left him in a coma; trapped inside the program, he must continue experiencing his ancestors’ memories in hopes of finding a way out of the machine to which he’s been tethered. As all this unfolds, Desmond experiences an Ezio adventure from later in his life that will see his Florentine ancestor travel to Ottoman Constantinople in the hopes of finding five keys to unlock a long hidden Altaïr library. In the process, Ezio has his own Desmond-like experience, as he uses these artifacts to relieve key moments in the Syrian assassin’s life—and begins to unravel the mystery that’s come together over the first three games of the series.

Though the narrative’s ostensibly always revolved around Desmond as he tries to learn what his ancestors knew, these games have always really been about the characters you play as in the past—so this is still primarily Ezio’s story. Revelations wraps up his tale beautifully—but, in true Assassin’s Creed fashion, it still leaves the door open for so many more potential twists down the line. Not to mention that by revisiting Altaïr as Ezio, we really get a sense of how all the characters are interconnected—and can now appreciate Ezio and Altaïr for their stark differences: Altaïr’s quicker on his feet, while Ezio feels heavier and more powerful.

Assassin’s Creed isn’t just about the story, though—it’s also about the amazing simulations of historical locales. Revelations doesn’t falter on this end: Constantinople looks straight out of a history book, and you can even pick out spices in the marketplace while clearly seeing just how unkind age has been to dear old Ezio. This is a testament to how long Ubisoft’s been working with their engine; they can now get every drop of juice out of it to provide a trio of tremendously different settings. Whether it’s Altaïr’s 13th-century Masyaf, Ezio’s warm, vibrant 1500s Constantinople, or a TRON-like VR world that Desmond works his way through, Revelations delivers the visual goods.

But one other key addition just doesn’t jibe with me. In Brotherhood, Ezio had to conquer Templar towers in order to help quash the Order’s presence in various areas. That element’s returned, but there’s a new wrinkle in Revelations: Templars can now retake the areas they lose. Ezio, taking on more of a commanding-general role, guides various types of assassins around rooftops and barricades streets to subdue advancing enemy waves. A good idea in theory, but it’s implemented via a tower-defense mechanic—which works in Flash-based games, but not so much in Assassin’s Creed. Though the conceit makes sense in the context of Revelations—after all, Ezio’s getting up there in years and can’t risk taking on 20 Templars at once—it still feels like the developers tried to cram in too many different elements at once. Aside from this odd addition, the rest of the game stays relatively similar for Ezio, aside from the hookblade providing zipline assassinations—which never get old—and a variety of new bombs that provide some interesting effects depending on how they’re utilized.

Revelations’ multiplayer definitely takes a step forward for the franchise, though, and it’s one of the more novel online experiences available. You’ll play dual roles as both a killer and as a detective trying to sniff out enemies—that, combined with new play modes, will keep this game in your system for quite some time. In the end, Revelations gets the Assassin’s Creed formula as right as any entry before it—a compelling story tempered by familiar, entertaining gameplay makes this the latest and greatest chapter in this ongoing gaming epic.

SUMMARY: Ezio’s tale wraps up beautifully in this final chapter of his trilogy, but elements like a tower-defense minigame seem out of place.

  • THE GOOD: An epic, fitting conclusion to Ezio’s trilogy
  • THE BAD: New tower-defense element works but feels out of place
  • THE UGLY: The salt-and-pepper look isn’t very flattering on Ezio

SCORE: 9.0

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations is available on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and PC. Primary version reviewed was on the Xbox 360.

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EGM Review: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

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Birth of a hero

As reserved and conservative as they may come across at times, Nintendo knows how to celebrate the big moments. Mario’s 25th anniversary saw the release of a limited-edition Super Mario All-Stars, reminding us that it’s OK to look back on the past and appreciate those old games for what they were—and what they’ve done for so many of us as gamers. Well, now another Nintendo mainstay’s joined the 25th-anniversary club, and he’s got a brand-new game that pays tribute in its own special way: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. Featuring classic elements, characters, and enemies from many of the best Zelda games of the past—with plenty of nuances to make it its own standalone title—Skyward Sword’s conceived as a prequel to Ocarina of Time, a title not only considered by many to be the best Zelda game of all time, but also one of the best videogames of all time. Those are some pretty heavy Iron Boots to fill.

Skyward Sword opens with a brief history of Skyloft, an island in the sky created by the Goddess to save humanity from the massive monsters that populate the earth below. To protect the remaining people, the Goddess devised a cloud barrier that would both keep humans off the land and the monsters out of the sky. Once this backstory’s established, we find Link, as always, oversleeping. Zelda—who’s portrayed as Link’s lifelong friend in this game—sends a majestic bird called a Loftwing to wake up our pointy-eared hero, and he heads over to the statue of the Goddess as Zelda prepares for a traditional Skyloft ceremony. After a short opening quest that introduces Skyloft’s many denizens, Link must participate in the ceremony, which serves as the game’s flying tutorial. Once victorious, Link and Zelda embark on a celebratory flight across the clouds until a dark tornado from beneath the fluffy barrier reaches up and knocks Zelda off her Loftwing. Link must now find a way down below the cloud barrier—and, in the process, fulfill his ultimate destiny.

The first thing you’ll notice is the distinctive look the adventure takes this time around. Strongly inspired by impressionist art, Skyward Sword will take your breath away as it mixes elements from Wind Waker and Twilight Princess to suggest the feel of a living painting. But this new graphical style also has gameplay elements in mind, as it allows for exaggerated enemy designs that still maintain elements of realism. That creates more obvious strengths and weaknesses in many of the foes Link faces, and it’s also an obvious nod to the controls—but more on those later. You’re constantly solving puzzles and meeting challenging foes even when you’re not dungeon-crawling, which adds a lot of playtime to the overall adventure. The audio’s also brilliant, featuring a full orchestral composition that seamlessly flows with the story. And, of course, music once again plays an integral role—a traditional Zelda motif for many years now. All in all, this game will please your eyes and ears better than any Wii release—aside from, perhaps, the Mario Galaxy titles.

Skyward Sword lays enough groundwork so you can see how this is indeed a prequel to Ocarina, but you’ll also notice parallels to later games in the series: Link’s crimson-colored Loftwing acts as Link’s transportation in the air much like the King of Red Lions does for Wind Waker’s oceans. And Fi, the spirit of the titular Skyward Sword, acts much like Navi does in Ocarina, locking onto targets and providing hints and information when needed. These elements work well, and I’m sure they’ll stir up timeline enthusiasts once they see all the connections, but it’s when you start to scratch past the surface of Skyward Sword that you begin to see some of the flaws. Though many key elements from past games are still present, like exploring diverse regions, conquering puzzle-laden temples, and collecting fantastic items to help you overcome larger-than-life bosses, some changes might irk fans—beyond the fact that Link starts with six hearts instead of the traditional three.

The most blatant annoyance storywise definitely has to be Zelda’s disempowerment. Though she still plays this society’s role of princess as the knight headmaster’s daughter, she almost comes off as pining for Link from the second you meet her. In the EGM offices, we likened it to Metroid: Other M’s unfortunate relationship between Samus and Adam. I understand that Zelda and Link are played off as best friends in this game, but she just comes across as reliant upon Link long before she falls below the clouds—following him around like a lovesick puppy and hoping he’ll win the ceremonial festivities so they can take a celebratory ride together above the clouds. You could argue that since this may be the very first Zelda, she hasn’t yet evolved the characteristics that come with being a princess of a large kingdom. Still, it just comes off wrong and dampens the moments when she tries to be the more strong-willed character we’ve grown accustomed to over the years.

In the grand scheme of things, this could be construed as minor, but what really keeps Skyward Sword from reaching the level of several of its predecessors is the control scheme. Remember how I mentioned that the visual design emphasizes enemy strengths and weaknesses? Well, this graphical quirk comes from the conscious decision to make Skyward Sword too reliant on motion controls and Wii MotionPlus—and it’s this element that singlehandedly holds the game back from elite status.

Twilight Princess’ motion controls worked because the game was more forgiving of your movements; simple flicks of your wrist would provide the desired results. Now, due to the enemy design revolving around the motion-control gimmick and being forced to use the MotionPlus—which follows you too well—you’re often pulled out of the immersion, because you’re constantly reminded that you are holding a controller whenever the controller doesn’t do what you want.

A perfect example is the miniboss you face in the first temple. It’s a Stalfos, a Zelda enemy staple from the very beginning. This dual-sword-wielding skeleton towers over Link, so in order to do damage, you must swing where the Stalfos isn’t blocking. If he’s holding his swords horizontally, you must swing horizontally through the gap; if he’s holding them vertically, you strike vertically. Unfortunately, if you’re like me and have played a good amount of button-mashers over the years—or even just older Zelda titles—your instinct is to attack hard and fast. But if you swing too fast, even with MotionPlus, Link won’t be able to catch up to you. Or, worse yet—since I’ve yet to meet someone who prefers to play games standing up—if you’re sitting down, it’s impossible to swing the controller perfectly horizontally or vertically every time, and you’ll often have to reset your position, destroying the illusion of immersion.

Another failure of Wii MotionPlus comes with bombs. For the first time in the series, you can roll bombs into crevices and holes instead of just dropping them or throwing them, and this is necessary at certain points to open doors or take down particular enemies. The problem, though, comes from the way most people hold a Wiimote. Think about it: You have your thumb on the A button, your index finger on the trigger, and your other fingers wrapped around where the batteries are stored. If you attempt to roll something, like in Wii Sports Bowling, you’re going to turn the Wiimote to its side so that the bottom of your hand faces toward the sky. The problem in Skyward Sword is that this makes the bombs sail far off to the right of your intended target and forces you to overcompensate with an uncomfortable palm-down technique more akin to throwing a bocce ball.

So, yeah, the controls are pretty rough. And it breaks my heart, because I think this could’ve been one of the greatest Zelda games yet had the controls just worked. But, despite the controls, this is still a great Zelda game. You’re looking at a 30-hour-plus adventure if you’re a Heart Container fiend like myself—and probably still a good 20 hours if you’re just looking to complete the story, even if all those fetch quests get a little tiring after a while. Even with cruddy controls, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is still an epic adventure worthy of the franchise—and it should absolutely be played by all fans of the series.

SUMMARY: Skyward Sword has all the elements of a spectacular Zelda tale, but poor controls prevent this from reaching an Ocarina-like level.

  • THE GOOD: Classic Zelda elements remind us of 25 years of greatness
  • THE BAD: Poor motion controls remind us of 5 years of flailing futility
  • THE UGLY: The hole in my living-room wall after throwing the Wiimote through it in frustration


SCORE: 8.5

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is a Nintendo Wii exclusive and therefore reviewed only on the Wii.

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EGM Review: EyePet and Friends

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November 9, 2011

If only cute could be made to kill

Over the years, the handy virtual pet has offered many children the chance of owning a fantastic creature without having to clean up the mess. I remember when I was younger and I was suckered into the Tamagotchi craze. After a thrilling two hours, I was bored and gave it to my sister. A few hours more, she was bored and gave it to her best friend. And thus it continued, until half the neighborhood had a hand at raising this virtual creature that, because it wasn’t real, no one felt the need to be responsible for. And so now, many years later, we’ve seen this virtual-pet genre evolve to the point that we’ve got motion-control gimmick games that basically serve the same purpose. And so, with that, we’re looking at the second iteration of Sony’s virtual-pet time- and money-waster in EyePet & Friends.

The entire premise is that the player receives a creature that looks more like a Mogwai from Gremlins more than any real creature, and you earn points by playing with it or by playing against a friend and their Gizmo lookalike in various games. Honestly, the creatures are cute, but this game has as much appeal as a root canal. The only real positive is that at least if these critters get wet or eat after midnight, they don’t turn into horrific little monsters. If you’re planning on getting this for your children, don’t. Get a real pet, like a dog or a cat. It might make more of a mess, but your kids will thank you years down the road and might actually learn some responsibility from having to take care of the animal. All EyePet & Friends does is waste their time and offer the tiniest amount of entertainment value I think I’ve ever seen in a game.

On top of being absolutely pointless, the game actually also has a lot of technical flaws that make it even more of a gaming abomination. The responsiveness with the PS Move, which is required to play the game, is hit or miss, and you’ll often find yourself having to repeat the same simple motions over and over again just to get the creature to do a trick. Again, if I’m going to put this much time and effort into teaching something, I’d rather it be a real animal that’ll probably learn faster and respond better than these balls of fluff do on my TV.

And speaking of your TV, the entire “game world” is really just a reproduction of what the PS Eye sees with the critters superimposed over the image—but with what looks like a blue static filter over the screen the entire time. This filter ended up giving me a headache after a half hour, because even if you find a way to focus on your EyePet, they take up 10 percent of the screen at best. Sony was trying to bridge a gap between the real world and the fantasy world, but instead they should have just kept it in the fantasy world and actually provided some backgrounds to play with the creature in. Again, this is just another reason you should “keep it real.”

The worst part of the entire game, though, may come from the announcer who explains everything you can do with the EyePet. The man’s disturbingly unbridled enthusiasm for this virtual mongrel would put most game-show announcers to shame. Being forced to hear him explain every toy, activity, and feature of the EyePet made me want to jam pencils in my ears.

It has been a long time since I had such an abysmal gaming experience, and I cannot, in good faith, recommend this to anyone. Again, get your kid a real pet or watch as the money you spent on EyePet & Friends gets turned around by your kid as a traded-in game at a GameStop or Best Buy for something that might actually hold their interest for more than 15 minutes. This game doesn’t even deserve to be on the shelf and should start in the bargain bin—and that’s going easy on it. Bottom line: It doesn’t get worse than this, folks—at least I hope not.

SUMMARY: Like any other virtual pet: You’ll question why you even bothered in the first place.

  • THE GOOD: Creatures are cute as can be
  • THE BAD: Long load times and an announcer who makes you want to stab things in your ear
  • THE UGLY: Reminiscent of the Tamagotchi craze—and that’s not a good thing

SCORE: 1.0

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EGM Review: Winter Stars

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A hazy shade of winter

We’ve certainly seen a slew of motion-control sports games of late—with some definitely more worthwhile experiences than others. The latest publisher to hop on the trend? Deep Silver, the folks who turned the zombie-blasting genre on its head a couple months ago with Dead Island. But can they bring that same innovation to another genre that seems to have hit a brick wall in terms of ingenuity via little-known German developer 49Games?

With Winter Stars, we do indeed see a couple of interesting differences from other motion-based sports offerings, such as a branching story path that changes depending on your performance in various cups revolving around the main winter-themed sports. And most of these events are new to the genre, as you’ll see bobsled, figure skating, and biathlon events complement downhill skiing, which seems to be in every motion-control game franchise at this point. The story follows a team of newcomers to the world of winter sports—and their hard-luck coach, who was once one of the best in the world when it came to downhill skiing before an unfortunate accident. Now, he’s trying to turn these kids into winners and return to glory the only way he knows how; the whole thing’s got some Cool Runnings–style charm.

Unfortunately, that’s about the only enjoyment you’ll find in Winter Stars. The character models look atrocious—and that awfulness is only trumped by the abysmal voice acting in the cutscenes that push the story forward between cup events. Add this to the absolutely hideous gameplay mechanics, and you’ve got a brutal combination on your hands.

The event controls are relatively simple, but they’re either far too unresponsive or extremely sensitive. This means that if you play other motion-based sports games, it’ll take some time to get used to the minimal amount of movement required to turn your bobsled or weave down the slopes. It’s a shame that the controls are so poorly implemented, because Winter Stars really shows the potential to make sports like figure skating—which I normally wouldn’t be caught dead watching—actually seem enjoyable. Well, if the controls had actually worked, that is.

Another disappointing aspect? The pacing. Even though the cups are comprised of the four sports, you’re still sent back to the main menu screen after each event, where you have to choose to continue. While some might appreciate this if they need a bathroom break or something, only those with severe bladder-control issues need this many breaks in the action. This even happens after tutorials or multiplayer matches, so it really prevents players from getting into any sort of rhythm.

Winter Sports is a valiant effort by an obscure developer, but it feels unnecessarily rushed to compete against the other motion-based sports games of the season like MotionSports: Adrenaline and Kinect Sports: Season Two. This one definitely could’ve used some more time for some polish—or, at the very least, to make sure the controls actually work. It’s frustrating, because you can definitely see the potential here—but as it is, Winter Sports is barely worthy of the bargain bin.

SUMMARY: Tries to differentiate itself via its story mode, but in the end, it’s just another generic motion-control sports entry.

  • THE GOOD: A story mode woven into the sporting events
  • THE BAD: The controls, the look, the feel—and everything else
  • THE UGLY: Yet another generic sports game trying to get in on the casual motion-control market—and failing

SCORE: 3.0

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Pullbox Issue #12 – 11/2/11

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This was a surprisingly tough Pullbox to put together this week as there just wasn’t a lot of titles that stood out to me as most issues, especially with all these re-launches going on from both Marvel and DC, are just building up to the bigger action with these issues serving more as a lot of plot development right now. Still, I was able to pull a few out that I think are worthy of your attention so without further ado, here is this week’s Pullbox!

1) DC – Red Lanterns #3: Atrocitus has picked Bleez as his lieutenant and restored her intelligence, but he may be learning that there is a reason that the red makes many of its followers blind with rage as Bleez immediately begins showing her lack of loyalty to the Red Lantern leader now that she is thinking for herself again. Great artwork obviously punctuated with a lot vibrant reds throughout this book, the story is a clear example of what I was talking about above. We get Bleez’s bio and why she was chosen to part of the red, as well as why she has skeletal wings in this issue. We also see what could become a lot of drama for the Red Lanterns later on as without a Lantern war going on to focus their rage, the infighting may begin sooner rather later and Red Lantern vs Red Lantern spells one thing: bloodbath. At least Atrocitus still has his kitty.

2) DC – Swamp Thing #3: I make it a point to try to give you some variety whenever I do the Pullbox each week, but one comic that has been consistently awesome and surprisingly so is Swamp Thing as I’ve featured all three issues now. Alec Holland realizes that he may not have a choice in becoming the defender of the green once again as he learns that while he may be the jolly green knight for the environment, that the rot, the blackness, has a champion as well and with the help of Abigail Arcane, Swamp Thing must prevent the two from merging or be thrust into an all out war for life on earth to continue! Again, a lot more story than anything setting up what can be an awesome confrontation, to see the champion of the black’s powers begin to emerge where he controls rotting and dead flesh and to see what he does in a cancer hospital…all I can say is wow. Gruesome, grotesque, and with more to come, Swamp Thing was one of my few easy choices this week.

3) Marvel – Avengers Academy #21: The original members of the Avengers Academy are forced to accept new members into the old West Coast Avengers mansion as tensions run high as they feel like they are being replaced and new enemies begin to reveal their plans against the Academy. The highlight of this issue is clearly when the lack of communication between Hank Pym and the students reaches a boiling point and erupts into a giant brawl between Luke Cage, Hawkeye, Captain America, and Hank Pym against the original Academy members (minus Veil who left last issue). This massive positive is what propelled this issue into the Pullbox this week because the reveal at the end of the comic where the Acadmey kids from the future have indeed turned evil reminds me too much of a Teen Titans story from a few years ago where the Titans had to take on their future selves. If this is the route this comic is going then as much as I’ve enjoyed this book for the past almost two years, it may be going into the territory of having itself removed if that is indeed the story Marvel is setting up.

4) Marvel – Uncanny X-Men #1: As we continue to see the fallout from Schism with the X-Men, we see just what lengths Scott Summers is willing to go in order to try to save what is left of mutantkind. Unfortunately, an old nemesis from the past, Mr. Sinister, has the same idea, but is going to about things in a very different way and the sleeping Celestial sticking out of San Francisco looks to be a key part of his plans. Although the issue is paced a bit too quickly for my liking, to see Marvel finally work the Celestial back into a story after several years of it just hanging in the background of battles taking place in San Francisco is great. Not to mention Sinister’s new hipster look makes everyone know right from the get-go that his intentions are…well…sinister. Lots of action including Colossus still struggling with the power of the Juggernaut, which I can’t wait for that fallout sooner or later, and this is a very solid re-launch to one of Marvel’s standbys from all the way back in the 1960s.

5) Archie – Sonic The Hedgehog #230: I admit that I was very tempted to pick Last of the Greats #2 as my indie pick, but when you stick a 20th anniversary label on something, I have to pick it up. Basically, Sonic, set in the cartoon universe of the early 90s where Eggman is still Robotnik and Sonic has a whole slew of friends called the freedom fighters have stopped Robotnik’s latest plan to robotize the planet Mobius. But it comes at a cost that Sonic might not be able to bear. Honestly, the fact that Sonic has had an ongoing comic for this long in and of itself is mind boggling, but if you’re like me and actually remember watching the short lived Saturday morning cartoon starring Jaleel White (yes, Steve Urkel did this voice of Sonic the Hedgehog), then you’ll probably enjoy reliving a small slice of childhood with this 20th anniversary issue commemorating the release of Sonic Generations celebrating Sonic’s grand run in gaming to date.

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EGM Review: Batman: Arkham City: Nightwing DLC

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From the Shadow of the Bat

The first extended member of the Bat-Family in terms of crime fighters, Robin, the Boy Wonder, has been a comic staple for over 70 years, first appearing in 1940’s Detective Comics #38. The original lad who took that mantle though, Dick Grayson, has gone through many changes that fans of the DC Universe have been enjoying now for the past 25 years. In that time, he has worn the Batman mantle twice, but spent most of that time as his own crime fighter, ever evolving outside of Batman’s shadow, as Nightwing.

So, with Batman: Arkham City featuring Catwoman and Robin as playable challenge map characters, it would only make sense that the next member of the Bat-family to be featured would be the original sidekick for the Caped Crusader in the form of Grayson. But is he worth the $7 DLC price-tag (560 Microsoft Points) he comes with or should he simply retreat back to the shadows?

In the DLC, you get a pair of Nightwing costumes, one imagined for the Arkham City universe that features his better known black and blue look (the blue has since been changed to red in his most recent incarnation in the comics) and another based off his brief appearances in the last season of Batman: The Animated Series. You also get a pair of challenge maps, Main Hall and Wayne Manor, with one serving as a brawler challenge and the other serving as a stealth challenge. You also get the ability to use Nightwing in any other maps that come with the game or that you may have downloaded otherwise.

But, unfortunately, that’s it. Rocksteady didn’t even bother to record a voice over for the character so the load screen for each map is just Nightwing standing there, looking pretty ragged for a character who didn’t even make it into Arkham City’s story. At least Robin makes a brief appearance in the actual campaign. Not to mention that Dick Grayson, known for his quips during battle is dead silent because Rocksteady cut a corner with no voice actor there and yet Batman, who NEVER talks, starts every challenge map with a taunt. Very out of character for both Batman and Nightwing and a questionable move by the Rocksteady folks if you ask me.

Nightwing does handle solidly, yet still differently, when compared to the other characters in the game though. To make him feel special in a fight, Rocksteady made sure to focus a lot on his now signature Escrima Sticks that Dick mastered when he first took on the Nightwing mantle and became protector of Bludhaven as well as giving him a heavy MMA feel in terms of his takedowns like arm-bar submissions. He also has gadgets similar to Batman like the grappling hook and line launcher and some unique gadgets of his own, like a wrist mounted tranquilizer gun that stuns enemies on the brawler maps and knocks them out cold in the stealth maps. The tranquilizer gun only holds three shots for the entire stealth map though and doesn’t recharge, otherwise it would be too easy to work your way past the six thugs you have to take out. The Escrima Sticks have also been modified for the game so that they can act like the stun batons Batman faces in later parts of Arkham City. This gives him some interesting special moves with a lot of range as he can channel the electricity by crossing the sticks and stunning foes.

Despite his smooth handling though, the challenge maps are such a secondary feature to the game for me that to charge $7 for a character you don’t even see in the campaign is really disappointing. Now, if Nightwing had been given his own campaign missions or even could be used in the campaign, I think we’d have a different story on our hands. Or if the DLC was really cheap like one or two dollars. But the same goes for the Robin DLC that I got with the game; the campaign is the bread and butter of Batman: Arkham City and so something that adds nothing to that aspect of the game in any way just seems unnecessary to me, especially at the price that this content is listed as. And so unless you are a huge fan of the challenge maps and doing them over and over again, plus a huge fan of Batman’s history, then I really think overall that the Nightwing DLC for Batman: Arkham City is mediocre at best and unnecessary at worst considering its price tag.

SUMMARY: As wonderful and enthralling as Batman: Arkham City is, paying $7 for the two challenge maps and costumes in the Nightwing DLC is a rip-off.

  • THE GOOD: Another unique fighting style to use in the Arkham City challenge maps
  • THE BAD: Only two extra maps and no voice acting for the character
  • THE UGLY: Dick Grayson’s ragged haircut

SCORE: 5.0

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