Tag Archive: john cena


The Sleeper Hold – Episode 7 – The San Fernando Valley Screw Job

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August 4, 2012

Before we get into how AJ Lee did as GM (aside from look amazing in her power suit, although I definitely prefer the plaid two-piece), I need to talk about the San Fernando Valley Screw Job. This is basically what happens when a cable service provider (Time Warner) has a monopoly over a particular area of the country, (where I live in the valley), and whose service goes out constantly. I watch maybe five shows on TV, with Monday Night RAW being one of them, and to lose nearly 60 minutes of this show for no good reason drives me nuts. So despite their best efforts to clearly sabotage The Sleeper Hold this week on EGMNOW.com, I will continue onward with the two hours of the show I was able to see, plus piece together via illegal YouTube clips.

Main Plot Overview: The road to Summerslam continued to heat up last night as John Cena and the Big Show squared off at the command of AJ to determine the number one contender for the WWE Championship. CM Punk came down for the main event and joined Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole on commentary, which he dominated with his expert analysis and quick wit, before being bowled over by Big Show and Cena when the fight carried outside the ring.

In his rage, Punk interfered with the match and took both men down and due to the disqualification proclaimed there was no number one contender because both men were losers. AJ quickly squashed this unofficial ruling though and deemed them both winners and therefore the WWE Championship match at Summerslam was now a triple threat match between Punk, Cena, and Big Show, which was expected. The only question now is whether they can continue this three way feud all the way to Royal Rumble in order to have a Fatal 4-Way match with The Rock involved.

In other news that will definitely shake-up Smackdown on Friday nights, and thankfully help with the awful broadcast team there, Booker T has been named Smackdown’s new GM according to WWE.com.

Match of the Night: After confronting AJ Lee in her office, Daniel Bryan wanted some answers for her leaving him at the altar. AJ explained that she knew Daniel was full of it after seeing insane asylum orderlies backstage, thinking Daniel was going to have her committed once they were legally wed. So AJ was going to have Daniel take on Sheamus that night in a non-title match, with the WWE Universe deciding the stipulation. And we wanted to see a street fight.

By no means was this the best street fight you’re likely to see from the WWE. But the liberal use of kendo sticks, the steel steps, and a chair wedged between turnbuckles helped to liven up what was a very tight match technically from both men. No surprise, Sheamus emerged victorious as he pummeled Daniel Bryan and then laid him out on the steel steps in the ring with a Brogue Kick for the victory.

Another contender for this was the Jericho/Christian vs Ziggler/Miz tag match, but unfortunately my cable provider was nowhere to be seen and so I missed it and I can only call them as I see them folks. Kind of like an easily distracted WWE referee.

Promo of the Night: The night got off to a bang as CM Punk came to the ring to defend his actions last week on RAW when he clotheslined The Rock. Punk specifically called out Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler for saying Punk turned his back on the WWE Universe when he did that.

So Punk got right in Lawler’s face and sat Indian style on the announce table right in front of Jerry and explained that RAW should end every episode on the WWE Champion because it is the most prestigious belt in the business and therefore whoever holds it should hold the WWE Universe in his hand. Punk never turned his back on anyone. He was simply putting The Rock in his place for trying to steal the spotlight that Punk clearly earned. And I have to agree with him there. The show should end every night on the WWE Champ instead of John Cena and whatever ridiculous feud he’s stuck in that night. And it should definitely not end on The Rock will most likely lose at the Royal Rumble as he is clearly not ready to do RAW on a weekly basis.

So, this severe tongue lashing from Punk, directed right at Jerry Lawler, and the subsequent calling out by the Big Show, which just led to AJ making the main event announcement of the evening, was clearly the promo of the night.

Shocker of the Night: The only reason why this was Shocker of the Night was because for once Brodus Clay got jobbed instead of doing it to someone else. Damian Sandow came down to the ring, proclaiming himself a martyr, sacrificed for the people by DX the previous week and so in an attempt to bring culture back to the WWE Universe, he was going to start with Brodus and ridiculous dance-off he was having with Vickie Guerrero.

Honestly, I’m glad something stopped Vickie because she continued to be one of the most annoying figures in the WWE. But I would’ve preferred if Sandow and Clay had an actual match instead of Sandow sucker punching Brodus and then working the big man’s ‘injured’ knee. Maybe we will get that fight later on down the road, but as it was for last night, I was definitely surprised to see that Sandow wasn’t getting jobbed by Clay, but sort of did it the other way around.

Cheap Pop of the Night: The one-man band Heath Slater came out and talked about getting his WWE career back on track. Instead of facing off against a legend though, he faced off against a Legend Killer. That’s right, the crowd went crazy when Randy Orton made his return to RAW and quickly hit all his signature moves, much like the legends did in previous weeks on Slater, and finished off the one-man band with a thunderous RKO. Not only was it an easy win for Randy and a chance to get him back in front of the WWE Universe, but it definitely got the crowd fired up and earned out Cheap Pop of the Night.

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The Sleeper Hold – Episode 6

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July 27, 2012

It was RAW’s 1000th episode, and unfortunately the WWE still can’t find a way to work some solid wrestling into the show even at three hours long now. Although I understand that it was a bit of a celebration, and hopefully things will pick up a bit next week, I can’t forgive the blatant extra advertising and time wasted pandering to the WWE Universe. As a whole, those of us who grew up in the ‘Attitude Era’ had a few extra laughs and it was nice to see legends like Bret Hart again. All in all though, this was a monumental waste of time and I fear for the future of Monday Night RAW’s ability to entertain us.

Main Plot Overview: The big shake-up in the main plot of the show was The Rock re-inserting himself into the WWE Championship picture, proclaiming he has been promised a title match at The Royal Rumble in January. Of course, with that still being six months away, the title can change hands several times potentially, with the first time being that night with John Cena cashing in his MITB contract.

Not surprisingly though, the match was interfered with by The Big Show and Cena became the first man to ever win his MITB contract title match, but not the title as a title cannot change hands via outside interference. The most infuriating thing about this match though was the sad attempt by WWE to possibly turn CM Punk heel, as he did what everyone else in the world would do and tried to capitalize on the opportunity afforded him by The Big Show. It’s not good for a face to win like a heel though, so this move likely means Punk is turning his back again on the people, especially after he clotheslined The Rock during his People’s Elbow on The Big Show.

Match of the Night: In three hours of programming, the WWE put on two good matches. The first was a 6-man tag match between Sheamus/Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio and Jericho/Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio. The match of the night though was the other good match in Christian vs The Miz for the IC belt.

Marking the 66th time the title was defended on MNR (average one defense every 15 weeks on the show), Christian came out with a flurry against the Miz, quickly taking to the air and hitting moves like missile dropkicks and crossbodies. But Miz would counter often and Christian would be unable to hit The Kill Switch. Instead, the Miz would finally get his chance and would take advantage, hitting the Skull-Crushing Finale and capturing the IC belt.

This was significant not only due to a major belt changing hands, but because this completes the career Triple Crown for the Miz who was a former WWE and US Champion. It also shows WWE’s commitment to insert the Miz right back into some decent storylines after some time away by giving him this storied mid-tier belt.

Promo of the Night: After the failed wedding of Daniel Bryan and AJ (more on that shortly), Daniel Bryan threw a tantrum of epic proportions. And CM Punk came down to the ring to gloat. Daniel Bryan didn’t take too kindly to this and proceeded to proclaim himself the greatest of all-time.

The Rock then had issue with this and came down to the ring to not only tell the people about The Royal Rumble, but to put Daniel Bryan in his place. After putting together a rhyme about how Daniel Bryan looks like something out of Lord of the Rings and is nothing but a glorified Oompa Loompa, the Rock gave Daniel Bryan a present. A Rock Bottom. Seeing the Rock rattle off an old-school promo like that was very enjoyable and so it is no surprise to see The Rock take home something he would have often back in his heyday, and that is The Promo of the Night. 

Shocker of the Night: Shortly before Daniel Bryan’s tantrum, he was the happiest guy in the world, as he was about to marry AJ (a lucky guy indeed). But like most weddings staged in a WWE ring, all was not well. And so the shocker came when we found out when AJ was saying ‘yes’ to someone else. Specifically, Mr. McMahon. But as Mr. McMahon explained to Daniel Bryan, it was a business proposition she was agreeing to. AJ was to be the new GM of MNR, to which I broke out with a ‘yes’ chant of my own! Our lovely geek goddess then proceeded to skip around the ring in her usual care-free demeanor as Daniel Bryan, with special guest reverend Slick, were left standing in shock in the middle of the ring. This is one of the few reasons I can’t wait for RAW episode 1001 now. 

Cheap Pop of the Night: The night started off with a bang as promised, as DX came out to the ring to kick things off. I was a bit disappointed though because it was only HHH and HBK and I remember when DX was actually a much larger stable than these two WWE mainstays. But I should learn not to doubt DX as they always have something up their degenerate sleeves and after some humorous banter between HBK and HHH, almost all the rest of the crew came out. X-Pac, Road Dogg, and Billy Gunn, in a military jeep, came rolling out to ringside and the gang was back together and for the first time in a while, I legitimately cheered at the TV while watching MNR. And it only got better as they hit all their catch phrases and even embarrassed Damien Sandow, who is definitely turning heads as a heel and passed his initiation as one after he was promptly disposed of by DX.

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The Sleeper Hold – Episode 5

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July 20, 2012

With Money in the Bank now behind us and Dolph Ziggler and John Cena the holders of the most coveted contracts there are in the WWE, things began to actually settle down a little as we move forward to next week’s monumental 1000th episode of Monday Night RAW. Several plot lines were tied up as several new ones started. And others took interesting twists in the hopes of making next week’s RAW the most historic episode ever. But before next week gets under way, we needed to get through this week first!

Main Plot Overview: After CM Punk’s successful title defense at Money in the Bank, he came out to tell the folks in Vegas that it was a year ago at that venue when he dropped his infamous pipe bomb and has reigned as WWE Champ for over eight months now. Interrupted by the Big Show though, Punk was reminded that John Cena can cash in his Money in the Bank at any time and if Show were to knock Punk out that evening in their main event match, that would be an awesome time to do it.

Flash forward to the end of the night and many thought that is just what John would do after Big Show DQ’d himself by hitting the referee and continued to swing away on Punk. Mind you, if this match had carried to a natural conclusion instead of a build up to next week, it was a strong contender for Match of the Night. Anyway, those of us who knew better that John would not cash in the briefcase because he is so honorable and righteous and…

…

Sorry, I couldn’t finish that last sentence without throwing up in my mouth a little. I’m good. I’m good. Back on track. But yeah, Cena instead gave Punk a week’s notice that at the 1000th episode of RAW the main event would be him and Punk for the WWE Championship, setting himself up as possibly the first man to lose his title match after winning his Money in the Bank contract match.

Match of the Night: This was very tough as few of the matches that went on were actually worth our time. The mixed tag match between AJ/D-Bryan vs Eve/The Miz was solid, but it was predictable for the most part and had only a couple of nice spots. The match that really impressed me, but wasn’t technically a match since the bell never officially rang, was Ryback vs. Jack Swagger.

First, thank you WWE for finally starting to push Ryback against real competition as I’m tired of watching him powerbomb some 130lb weaklings in a ‘handicap’ match. At Money in the Bank he had a handicap match against real wrestlers in Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins and then tonight he had some really good spots with Swagger.

Swagger started things off quickly by hitting Ryback as soon as he got into the ring. After tossing him around for a while and even hitting the Swagger-bomb for the first time in nearly forever, he tried to perform the ankle-lock. Twice. But Ryback countered each time and continued to show off his impressive power as he performed a TRIPLE powerbomb on Swagger before starting his chant ‘FEED ME MORE’ once again. Most impressive.

Promo of the Night: Another night of solid promos from several folks, but again Dolph Ziggler stole the show when he decided to ‘show-off’ his microphone skills talking about he’ll be the greatest undisputed world heavyweight champion of all-time. Better than The Rock, Stone Cold, and Bret Hart. Then Chris Jericho showed up.

But for the first time I can ever remember, Jericho didn’t say a word as Ziggler belittled him, saying no one even remembers the last time he won a big match as he’s been on the losing streak of a lifetime. And basically, he’s lost it. After several long minutes of being verbally broken down by Ziggler, it was like Jericho’s eyes started to glaze over…and then he hit a Codebreaker and walked out of the ring. I don’t know if it’ll actually lead to anything, but it was a great job by both men as Ziggler continued to cement himself as a great mic man and Jericho’s presence only helped intensify the entire promo.

Shocker of the Night: For once, AJ and the drama that follows her is no longer the shocker of the night although her and Daniel Bryan getting married next week was a close second. No, the shocker of the night was the long awaited return of the master of the 619, Rey Mysterio.

After Zack Ryder served as a jobber to let Alberto Del Rio take his frustration out on after blowing another title match against Sheamus at Money in the Bank, Rey Mysterio came back after almost a year ‘hiatus’ caused by Del Rio supposedly injuring Mysterio’s arm. To a huge ovation, Mysterio and Del Rio went back and forth for a short while before Del Rio set him up for and hit the 619 to start a new rivalry between the wrestlers. It’ll be interesting to see where it goes from here as both are very strong in the ring as well as to see how crisp the now 37-year old Mysterio is after such a long break.

Cheap Pop of the Night: What will likely be the last time this happens, Heath Slater took on another WWE Legend. Of course, the legitimacy of him as a legend as much as his bloodline being legendary is questionable, but the return of Rikishi was a nice moment for sure.

As has been the motif the past several weeks, Rikishi dominated and hit all his signature moves including the Stink Face as Slater did a nice job of putting an older wrestler over. The nicest thing about this moment though was when the lights went down and The Usos, who happen to be Rikishi’s twin sons, popped out and danced with their poppa. Definitely that moment alone made this worthy of the cheap pop of the week.

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The Sleeper Hold – Episode 4

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July 9, 2012

This week’s Monday Night RAW saw the love triangle that has been AJ, Daniel Bryan, and CM Punk start to sink the champ and the number one contender. John Cena, Chris Jericho, Kane, and the Big Show are also starting to get into each other’s heads as MITB is right around the corner. Teddy Long was this week’s Interim GM and he put on the quite the show. Quick note folks: EGM will be down at San Diego ComicCon all next week and so The Sleeper Hold will be put on hold for a week. Thanks for understanding.

Main Plot Overview: With an opening promo that really set the two main storylines off and running, it’s hard not to start getting excited for MITB. Although John Cena continued to walk the company line and turn all negatives into positives, Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan saved the day with a hysterical catchphrase battle with Jericho obviously winning as he has a much fuller repertoire than D-Bryan.

CM Punk also came to the ring though and talked about the irony of AJ being the special guest referee for his and D-Bryan’s MITB WWE Championship match, but soon Kane and Big Show joined the fun before all hell broke loose.

Clearly, the WWE knows the WWE Championship has the best players involved right now so by putting over both Punk and Bryan’s blossoming rivalry along with re-inserting John Cena and his rivalry with Big Show and Jericho and Kane into the picture, this is the reason why we continue to watch wrestling. And the best part is how AJ finds a way to always steal the show!

Match of the Night: In terms of match quality, this was one of the weaker RAWs we’ve seen in a while. Most matches ended in only a few minutes or didn’t even get started due to classic heel maneuvers. It was good to build characters up for the MITB PPV again, but if you were looking for any kind of wrestling, this definitely wasn’t the night to watch.

But if I had to choose, I was pleasantly surprised actually by the Mixed Tag Team match between the odd team of Sheamus and AJ taking on Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler. Obviously, this was mostly a match between Sheamus and Dolph as the two put on a really good show hitting very solid spots. If they had put on this good a match at No Way Out, I would’ve walked away a much happier camper than I already was from that PPV. The end was also solid as after Sheamus Brogue Kick’d Dolph out of the ring (just after Dolph did the cowardly heel move of tagging in Vickie), AJ came in, pulled off a couple of nice moves including her Daniel Bryan-esque kick to the head finisher and got the pin.

Promo of the Night: As good as the opening promo was, especially with Jericho and Bryan trading catchphrases, and a later catty one between Eve and AJ that was surprisingly solid, the clear winner for this is Paul Heyman’s interview via satellite with Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

Heyman’s big announcement was that Brock Lesnar is waiting for the 1,000th episode of RAW to announce if he will participate in Summerslam (need to fill those three hours pretty badly now). But it wasn’t just this announcement, it was that he declared he had figured HHH out. That HHH wanted to be destroyed at Summerslam by Lesnar because then HHH could be a hero, the king carried off the battlefield on his shield and placed in the corporate suit he has desired for so long without losing any face with the WWE Universe or the wrestlers in the locker room. And he did with that classic Heyman venom that makes you appreciate how good a heel he truly is.

Shocker of the Night: Tyson Kidd’s quick upset of Tensai was in the running for this, but again this seemed to just be a way to build up hype and conflict between participants in MITB. But it was the frontrunner until the very end of the night.

At this point, AJ’s continued interference in matches isn’t something new or surprising. In fact, it’s getting close to the point of irritation now (I still love her though) and hopefully this storyline will start to wind down after the results at MITB. But how she decided to interfere in the CM Punk and John Cena vs. Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan tag-team main event of the night was absolutely brilliant.

After all four men entered the ring for the standard chaos that ensues in these kinds of tag matches, Cena and Jericho fought each other up the ramp and out of sight. Punk and Bryan, the legal men, then put on a great individual effort with quick pacing, a few great spots with counters and high flying maneuvers, and then AJ made her appearance. When ignored by the two terrific tacticians in the ring though, she resorted to desperate measure and pulled out a table. Maybe like the Dudley Boys of yesteryear, she’s got a thing for wood. Anyway, she climbed to the top turnbuckle and made it seem like she was going to put herself through the table. Finally, Punk and Bryan’s attention was got and they moved over to convince her it wasn’t worth it. When in the right place, AJ then pushed them both through the table, started laughing maniacally, and started a ‘Yes’ chant all her own. My jaw dropped as my fellow New Jersey AJ native pulled one over on the WWE Champ and number one contender. Wow.

Cheap Pop of the Night: Continuing the trend leading up to the 1,000th episode, Heath Slater has been taking on WWE Legends. And for a good while I thought this would be the week the streak of this being the ‘Cheap Pop of the Night’ would be broken as Doink the Clown returned to a WWE ring…unfortunately. Lucky for Heath though as he finally broke his losing streak and emerged victorious. The cheap pop came though when DDP, Diamond Dallas Page, walked down to the ring to congratulate Heath on the win. After a hearty handshake, not surprisingly, DDP then hit the Diamond Cutter and the crowd erupted.

Honestly, DDP looked in bad shape. He was deathly thin and I thought he was going to hurt himself doing the Diamond Cutter and looked the worst of all the Legends to come out for this segment so far. I also wonder what sorry sap had to come to ring dressed as Doink as I highly doubt it was the original.

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EGM Review: WWE ’12

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November 29, 2011

If you smell what the WWE is cookin’

After a decade-long brand divide, the WWE’s recently made strides to show unity with their RAW and SmackDown shows and pay-per-views. In response, their yearly videogame’s dropped the annual SmackDown vs. RAW title to hammer home this brand solidarity—but that’s not all that’s changed in THQ’s annual wrestling sim. WWE ’12 finds a way to take the great customization and storyline strides that last year’s game made and refines them to provide the most authentic wrestling simulation to date.

Of course, what’s the first thing any player does with a typical WWE game? Check out the Create-a-Superstar feature! Even non-wrestling fans get caught up in the fun of creating a grappler from the ground up, and this mode sees much of the detail of previous versions return, along with new logos, designs, and physical-feature models to hit an even wider range of possibilities. But WWE ’12 also adds the new Create-an-Arena mode. Not only can you whip up your own wrestler from scratch, but you can also dedicate a squared circle to your grappler—or any of your real life-favorites. Hulkamania can run wild again with a ring drenched in red and gold, or you can show off your Macho Madness with a rainbow electronic ticker in honor of the dearly departed Randy Savage—and this is just scratching the surface of a mode I poured several hours into alone. And you can once again create logos, finishers, movesets, and even your own intro videos for the Titantron—and it’s all shareable via the WWE Creations online feature.

Another key to making this the most authentic WWE experience yet? The WWE Universe and Road to WrestleMania options. Now featuring stories that more closely mimic those you might actually see each week on RAW or SmackDown, these modes make every match and decision truly count. Maybe you’ll try to bring Sheamus back into the limelight of the WWE Title chase or push your created character to the top of the ranks and make him a legend in his own right. The Road to WrestleMania’s been trimmed, though—instead of choosing from one of five superstar storylines, you simply press play and begin the near-endless simulations of what you might see from varied wrestlers’ points of view.

But the action in the ring’s where you might see the biggest step up. The controls now feature a more casual-friendly A-button grapple prompt instead of the second analog stick, which actually gives the game a bit more of an arcadey feel, as you’ll find yourself button-mashing a bit more than you’re used to—the experience almost hearkens back to the No Mercy and WWF Attitude days in some ways. This might bother some people, but it isn’t striking enough that you won’t be able to adjust. The in-ring action’s further augmented by improvements like “wake-up taunts” to help set up finishers, better movement on the ring ropes, and an onscreen presentation that more closely mimics the actual WWE TV shows.

One element that’s definitely been criticized in past iterations, though—and it crops up again here, unfortunately—is the collision system. You’ll still see the occasional “quicksand” glitch where a wrestler’s suddenly waist deep in the mat, while an Irish whip against the steel steps can have you or your foe quivering and quaking for several seconds. Still, these moments happen more rarely than I’ve seen in any previous version of the game.

WWE ’12 is strong coat of polish on last year’s game, and when you combine that with even more customization and creation features and a beefed-up roster of several dozen wrestlers (including old standbys and never-before-digitized legends, like one of my personal favorites, the man they call Vader), and you’ve got by far the best WWE wrestling simulation we’ve seen to date—one that’ll layeth the smacketh down upon any and all wrestling haters.

SUMMARY: Some control improvements and fleshed out game play modes highlight the deepest WWE videogame experience yet.

  • THE GOOD: The most realistic WWE experience yet
  • THE BAD: Some collision and control issues remain
  • THE UGLY: Some of the created characters already uploaded to the servers

SCORE: 9.0

WWE ‘ 12 is available on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and Nintendo Wii. Primary version reviewed was on the Xbox 360.

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WWE 12 EGM E3 2011 Preview

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June 29, 2011

Originally Published: June 21, 2011, on EGMNOW.COM

IT’S GONNA BE A SLOBBERKNOCKER!

WHAT ITS ABOUT: This is the latest installment of THQ’s hit yearly WWE wrestling franchise, which sees a much needed facelift while still featuring some of the sports entertainment business’s biggest names.

WHY YOU SHOULD CARE: This franchise had been just coasting along up until last year’s revolutionary online Royal Rumble feature. But that was only the beginning as this year’s entry marks not only a branding change that falls in line with the WWE’s slow movement to dissolve the rivalry between their RAW and Smackdown TV programs, but adds a brand new submission system and new “Predator” gameplay mechanics in honor of the game’s cover boy, Randy Orton.

WHAT RAY THINKS: I was able to take control of “The Awesome One” himself, The Miz, for a brief demo against a CPU Randy Orton and was amazed at not only how smooth the new animations for the game seemed, but how much easier it was to just pick up and play, which should please old and new fans alike. I just hope they work out the glitch that wouldn’t let me pin Orton after performing four finishers before November’s launch.

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From My Mom’s Basement – Vol. 2 Ep. 6 – From My Grandmother’s Attic

Filed under: From My Mom's Basement — Leave a comment
April 6, 2011

Originally Published: April 5, 2011, on Youtube.com/Rcars4885

I come to you once again with your weekly geek fix, but now from my new apartment in…my grandmother’s attic! This week’s episode sees me review Deadpool Team-Up #883 from Marvel and WWE All-Stars from THQ. My hot chick pick of the week is Italian “journalist” Marika Fruscio and this week’s theme is Hulk Hogan’s theme “Real American”.

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WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011 for Xbox 360

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November 16, 2010

Originally Published: November 11, 2010, on ClassicGameRoom.com

I reviewed WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011 for the Xbox 360 from THQ as a part of CGR Undertow.

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