Tag Archive: review


EGM Movie Review: Pain & Gain

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May 10, 2013

All pain, no gain

We’ve all got an American Dream. Some folks just want to be famous. Others wants to be rich. While others still are just trying to do better than those that came before them. This idea of the American Dream is built on the premise that hard work, perseverance, and a little bit of luck can allow anyone to achieve anything. But some folks want to take short cuts and can’t be satisfied with the idea that they are the reason for their less than stellar lot in life.

A perfect example of this is the members of the Sun Gym Gang. These guys weren’t professional gangbangers or anything. Just a bunch roided up bodybuilders in Miami with rocks for brains. In the mid-90s, these meatheads wanted their wallets to be as thick as their necks. In order to achieve their goals, they decided to kidnap, extort, torture, and finally kill some of their more lucrative clientele in the hopes of taking those people’s fortunes all the way to their own bank accounts. Pain & Gain tells the story of how the Sun Gym Gang came to be, why they did what they did, and how they were finally brought to justice, mostly by their own greed and stupidity.

On paper, this looks like it could be an interesting premise for a movie. A story about bumbling, wannabe gangsters who are their own worst enemy. How justice prevails in even the most unlikely of scenarios. And that redemption can be found just about anywhere. Instead, we are reminded why Michael Bay is mostly a joke in many Hollywood circles.

Pain & Gain is the perfect example of a movie that doesn’t know what it wants to be and where real life is not more entertaining than fiction. The commercials would have you think this movie might be an action-comedy. But the movie bounces around the genre gamut every 15 minutes to the point that when you walk out of the theater, you’re not sure what you saw. It goes from comedy to documentary to drama to dark comedy to action to docu-drama to crime thriller all in the course of its 2 hour and 9 minute run-time. I almost expected Mark Wahlberg to break into song and dance at some point it was so all over the place.

And the hodgepodge of genres isn’t the only painful part about this film. The character arcs for everyone on the screen is accelerated at such a pace to fit into the long course of real life events the movie wishes to emulate that you start to think that everyone portrayed in the movie has some personality disorder beyond their obvious stupidity. Mind you, these aren’t characters you want to root for anyway as these are real-life death row convicts now, but they are nowhere near interesting enough to have had a movie made about them.

As much as the star studded cast of Mark Wahlberg, Ed Harris, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Tony Shalhoub, and more tried to do their best with the scripts given to them, at the end of the day it was not enough. Pain & Gain will have you holding your head in your hands as you try to figure out why you dropped $12 on such a convoluted and unentertaining waste of time. I spent literally the last hour of the movie staring more at my watch, watching my life waste away, than at the movie as I was bored to tears by this unrelenting piece of slop slapped on the big screen. This is just another reminder that unless he’s blowing something up, Michael Bay should go sit in a corner and think of the horrible things he’s done to the cinema-viewing community, Pain & Gain being the latest on that long list of crap.

SCORE: 2.5

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EGM Review: AC3: The Tyranny of King Washington – Ep 3

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The bear necessity

When last we left Ratonhnhaké:ton, he’d escaped from Boston after striking down Israel Putnam on his quest to rid the New World of Mad King George. Sailing on a liberated Aquila, Ratonhnhaké:ton heads for George’s headquarters in New York—and is stunned to see a pyramid rising from the heart of this great city. Knowing Washington is past the point of no return, Ratonhnhaké:ton begins forming a plan with Ben Franklin as to how to deal with King George and learns of another ally he’ll need to recruit if he has any hope of succeeding: Thomas Jefferson.

Much like the episodes before it, Assassin’s Creed III: The Tyranny of King Washington Episode 3—The Redemption (such a mouthful) follows a clear formula. Ratonhnhaké:ton explores a little bit of the familiar-but-changed world he finds himself in before ingesting the toxic tea that allows him to have a spirit journey. He then gets new powers, represented by an animal. Ratonhnhaké:ton kills someone with these powers, and we move on. And when you finish the final episode of this highly anticipated DLC, that’s all you do: You’ll move on.

That’s not to say this was a waste of time, money, or energy, although I think fans would probably have preferred to get the DLC in one 6-to-8 hour helping instead of having it broken into three 2-hour servings; on that front, this episodic DLC failed. Still, the alternate universe that The Redemption wraps up is an entertaining, well thought-out side story to the main Assassin’s Creed timeline that reaches a satisfying conclusion.

The Redemption starts off with a bang, pulling you in far more quickly than previous King Washington DLC offerings. You see, this is the only episode to feature the beloved naval warfare seen in much of Assassin’s Creed III. It was a rush to get behind the wheel of the Aquila again and take on another small fleet of warships. I even chuckled at the reference Ratonhnhaké:ton makes to his grandfather Edward, who we all now know will be the star of Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag.

Unfortunately, this strong start and finish can’t hide the fact that The Redemption features weaker narrative buildup and action sequences compared to the previous two episodes. The quest for Thomas Jefferson feels more like a quick errand than some epic goal to reach before confronting King George for the final time. And while the outside of the pyramid feels appropriately daunting, it’s a letdown once you actually enter the structure. The final confrontation with George at least lives up to the hype, even if it’s a little on the short side.

I also will say that the bear powers that allow you to stomp the ground and send enemies flying everywhere—with those closest to you instantly dying—are much more fun to use than the wolf and eagle powers from previous episodes. But just like those enhancements, the bear powers make many of the missions far too easy and remove any thinking required from reaching the mission objectives.

The Redemption provides a fitting conclusion to this DLC storyline, and if you’ve come this far, you’d be remiss to not finish it off. I think only the most diehard of Assassin’s Creed fans will truly walk away from these three episodes completely satisfied, however.

Developer: Ubisoft Quebec • Publisher: Ubisoft • ESRB: M – Mature • Release Date: 04.23.13
6.5
A strong start and finish to the final King Washington episode help carry what’s probably the weakest action and narrative of the entire DLC miniseries. The new bear powers are also more fun to use than the wolf and eagle powers from previous episodes, though only hardcore Assassin’s Creed fans will be totally satisfied with the experience.
The Good A fitting, satisfying end to this miniseries.
The Bad The weakest narrative—up until that end sequence—of all three episodes. 
The Ugly Ratonhnhaké:ton’s brilliant blue bear eyes.
Assassin’s Creed III: The Tyranny of King Washington – Episode 3 – The Redemption is available on Xbox 360 (XBLA), PS3 (PSN), and PC. Primary version reviewed was for Xbox 360.
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EGM Review: Dead Island: Riptide

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Dying to disappoint

The first Dead Island turned a lot of heads by blending open-world and RPG elements with survival horror. It lacked the polish to make a truly significant impact, but this solid core led many to believe that the inevitable follow-up would only improve on the strong foundation laid by the first game and deliver an experience that could be enjoyed by zombie slayers everywhere.

Man, were we ever wrong.

Dead Island: Riptide opens with the four heroes from the first game—along with terrorist hacker Charon and Yerema, patient zero of the Banoi outbreak—landing on a military ship in their commandeered helicopter. The soldiers on the ship immediately take everyone into custody, as a mysterious figure named Serpo wishes to experiment on the immune for undisclosed reasons. Yerema freaks when grabbed by the soldiers because of her bad experiences with male authority figures and bites one of her assailants, thus spreading the infection onto the ship.

Following a short cutscene where our heroes awaken from a drug-induced stupor and exchange pleasantries with new playable protagonist John Morgan, we take control of the characters for the first time and discover the ship has now gone to hell. After a brief tutorial segment, the carrier crashes onto the nearby island of Palanai, and a very familiar scene is laid out before us: a tropical haven torn asunder by the zombie outbreak.

And while this paradox of hell in paradise is still an interesting concept, the punch it had with the first game will be lost on returning players, as they’ve seen this before. In fact, as you continue to play through the game, you’ll realize in many instances how very few differences there are in terms of story pacing and location from the first Dead Island to Riptide. The result is usually a less than satisfying sense of déjà vu.

Even the things that were being hyped as major additions were simply meant to fool us into thinking there was something new to be found in Riptide. The “improved gunplay” we were promised has been instituted by removing most of the required gunplay from the game and putting an even stronger emphasis on your melee weapons. Using a boat to get from point A to B is available in only one section of the game—and ended up making for a more frustrating experience, as all that water consistently causes framerate drops and horrendous screen-tearing. At the least the themes of water and flooding are consistent throughout the game—even if you can avoid it in most areas.

And the new quest types we were promised? They’re there, but they’re every bit as much of a grind as the fetch quests that dominated the first game. There are still plenty of fetch quests here, too—so many that almost you almost want to willingly dive into the waiting, diseased maw of some flailing zombie just to end it all.

The first new objective type involves the relatively straightforward task of saving a survivor who’s stuck on high ground, surrounded by zombies below. The second type is the highly touted siege quests. The survivor quests were fun the first couple of times, but when you realize there are literally dozens of survivors scattered about the world—too stupid to help themselves or realize that the zombies can’t climb—a part of you wants to leave these pitiful NPCs to their fate. By contrast, the siege quests are actually a lot of fun and require some complex thinking and strategy, but given that they only occur a handful of times through the entire game, I can’t help but wonder why Techland stressed something so relatively insignificant.

And that’s the kicker, really. If you played the first Dead Island, it’s hard not to notice how little has changed between the games. Even the glitches from the first game have returned, imparting the sense that Riptide needed at least another six months of polishing before ever reaching the hands of consumers. There are the little things, like radios that magically and inexplicably rotate 90 degrees when you turn them on, and big things, like times when the audio drops out completely, breaks whatever quest you’re on, and forces you to quit out and restart from your last checkpoint. The zombie respawn timer is also far too fast. In many instances I would see zombies I just wiped out literally start respawning not 15 seconds later. Polygon by polygon, they would fade back into existence right in front of me, and I’d have to run or deal with them all over again. It’s always nice when a developer uses an in-house engine, as it usually gives them mastery over that which they are trying to create, but it comes off that the Chrome engine still can’t give the smooth experience most gamers demand from a game nowadays, especially one with so much hype.

And the shortcomings aren’t just technical. The story this time around has even more plot holes, and does nothing to further develop any of the characters. Not to mention that Charon and Yerema—two of the most important characters from the first Dead Island—completely disappear once you leave the ship from the game’s opening cinematic/tutorial mission. Characters don’t ask about them, collectibles don’t explain their absence (if you can even look past the all the typos in the various collectibles’ scripts), and when you meet the bad guys again later in the game, it never comes up that two people you arrived with are just gone. Their existence is ignored in order to help further a plot that maddeningly undoes much of the first game’s. All this leads up to one of the most pitiful and poorly developed end bosses I’ve seen in a while, one that pales in comparison to the Ryder White fight from the end of Dead Island.

As much as I may be bashing Riptide, though, some of the good from the first game was able to make it over into this sequel, and there are a couple of nice new features as well. Being able to import your original character is a great touch; it was nice playing with Sam B and already having my skill trees largely filled out. Since the level cap has been raised to 70, you’re also able to further flesh your imported character, as well as try out new abilities, like the Charge maneuver. If Riptide is your first experience with the Dead Island franchise, however, there’s nothing to fear. You’ll automatically start at level 15 with a new character, so you can fill out your tree a decent amount and jump right into co-op without having to worry about other players having to carry you.

The co-op is also a critical returning feature, as many of the missions have been specifically tailored to take advantage of group play—specifically those where you have to carry weapons or supplies to a vehicle while other players cover your rear. The addictive nature of bashing zombies in the face with some trusted cohorts, especially with the weird assortment of weapons you can craft at benches, is as enjoyable as ever in Riptide.

Also, the new enemy types, like the Wrestler, the Butcher, and the Screamer—along with the addition of 13 boss zombies scattered throughout the world—provide some nice monster variety that was noticeably absent from the first game. If as much effort was put into the rest of the game as was put into creating the new zombie monstrosities, I suspect my review would have a dramatically different tone.

Still, as much as I hated the glitches and lack of story development, there were times I couldn’t put Riptide down for hours upon hours. The sheer fun of the co-op zombie-slaughtering gameplay was strong enough to carry the burden. The fact that the rest of the game can’t live up to this promising foundation is nothing short of heartbreaking. It’s a reboot of a game that only came out two years ago. It’s a nightmarish expansion pack with only a handful of new gameplay elements and two new bugs for every one that’s been fixed. If this is your first experience with the franchise, then you might be able to look past some of the more glaring flaws, but if you played the first Dead Island, Riptide is a difficult game to recommend.

Developer: Techland • Publisher: Deep Silver • ESRB: M – Mature • Release Date: 04.23.13
6.0
Newcomers to the franchise will likely be more forgiving of many flaws, much like many of us were with the first Dead Island, considering the fun zombie-bashing core and unique dichotomy of an apocalypse in paradise has remained intact. Veterans of the first Dead Island, on the other hand, will feel cheated, as they’ll recognize the cheap carbon copy that Riptide actually is. Combine this with glitches galore and a plot with more holes in it than the sinking ship the game starts off on, and it’s hard to recommend Riptide to all but the most naïve of zombie enthusiasts.
The Good Enjoyable zombie hacking and co-op remains intact.
The Bad Frequent screen-tearing and quest-breaking glitches; tons of plot holes.
The Ugly The fact that I’d actually hoped this would be better than the first game.
Dead Island: Riptide is available on Xbox 360, PS3, and PC. Primary version reviewed was for Xbox 360.
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EGM Review: Injustice: Gods Among Us

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Stop reading my mind, Ed Boon!

I am, admittedly, a creature of habit. I spend 6.8 percent of my day thinking of friends and loved ones, 9.4 percent of my day thinking about what I’m going to eat for lunch and dinner, and the remaining 83.8 percent of my day thinking about comic-book “What Ifs?” Would Bane be able to go toe-to-toe with Solomon Grundy? Could Green Arrow ever stand up to Superman? Could Shazam, Earth’s Mightiest Mortal, strike down Ares? Could Nightwing surpass his teacher and beat down Batman? Now, NetherRealm Studios has provided me with an outlet for my musings that’s so perfect, so tailor-made for geeks like me, that there’s only one possible explanation: Ed Boon is psychic.

Potential clairvoyance aside, Injustice: Gods Among Us looks to answer many of those questions that I ponder daily by taking 24 of the DC Universe’s most infamous heroes and villains and pitting them against each other in a 2.5D fighter. Building off the foundation of NetherRealm’s last outing, the 2011 Mortal Kombat reboot, Injustice offers a bevy of modes that provide more depth than most other fighters in both its single player and multiplayer menus.

Being the massive comic-book fan that I am, I was initially drawn to the single-player story mode. We open with the revelation that the Joker has committed the unthinkable—he’s detonated a nuke in Metropolis, annihilating the entire populace, including everyone that Superman knows and loves. We then follow the fallout from this horrendous incident as Superman is pushed past a line he never knew existed.

The story unfolds across nearly 50 fights and a handful of minigames—ranging from button-prompt challenges and “Test Your Might”-style button-mashing marathons—through a dozen chapters, each marked by the player taking the helm of a new hero or villain. These are linked together then by gorgeous cutscenes that set the stage for a conflict of the most epic proportions, all as Injustice’s story hits notes reminiscent of some of DC’s most thrilling comic arcs from days gone by. And it even finds an interesting way to explain how the likes of the Joker and Batman can so easily go against Superman and Green Lantern.

But the story mode barely even scratches the surface of the depth this game offers. If you’re more an old-school arcade ladder fan, then Battles mode offers you plenty of options. Not only is there a classic mode where you get a short cutscene tailored to each character after you best 10 different enemies, but there are dozens of stipulations you can select from to add to your challenge. Want to face off against the whole roster? How about doing it with a single lifebar? Or maybe you want a series of mirror matches? These are just a few of the plethora of other challenges available in Battles mode and that’ll keep this disc warm in your system for hours.

But wait! There’s even more! Continuing to build off that Mortal Kombat foundation I mentioned earlier, Injustice also includes S.T.A.R. Labs, a spandexed twist on Mortal Kombat‘s popular Challenge Tower mode that provides each individual character with 10 unique missions that offer a variety of gameplay situations that deviate from the standard fighter formula—all while still providing a fun and interesting set of challenge parameters.

And if that weren’t enough, you’ve got the local and online multiplayer, with the online offering not only your standard ranked 1-on-1 scenarios, but also King of the Hill, where you can enter a queue in a room of fighters and watch other matches take place, or Survivor, where your lifebar and character selection carries over in each match.

Now, I know what you’re saying. If you’re a fighting-game fan like me, you know that a game could have a story from the likes of Marv Wolfman or Frank Miller and have 100 modes that are as deep and well thought out as the ones I’ve described in Injustice, but if it doesn’t handle well, it’s all for naught. The gameplay itself has to be there, the combos have to flow smoothly, and the fighting can’t get dull or boring.

This happens to be where Injustice shines like the Brightest Day.

The thing that surprised me the most was the removal of the traditional rounds we see in most other fighters. Taking a page out of the comics Injustice is inspired by, most monumental bouts between superhero and villain heavyweights will just continue non-stop. In order to embody this idea, Injustice gives every fighter two lifebars, with only a small pause in the action signifying someone has lost their first life bar and a new “round” is then starting. I admit, I was skeptical of this gimmick, but after only a few fights, it became a natural part of the conflict for me. The old premise of rounds was almost completely wiped from my memory as new strategies formed to take advantage of this inventive new wrinkle.

After putting several more matches in, I didn’t see, but I felt the combos flowing like Aquaman riding the surf, as it was easier than ever to pull off some ridiculously long hit combinations, especially with quicker characters like Harley Quinn or Nightwing. As anyone who’s been pinned against an invisible arena walls until the match is over knows, though, this isn’t necessarily a good thing. To balance this, there are a couple of new ways to counter or interrupt these combos and give you a chance to deliver your own punishing pounding.

The power meter system, another Mortal Kombat element, returns to allow players to pump up their special attacks. A full meter allows for the amazing, over-the-top specials that decimate opponents when they hit, but it also acts as a currency for moves called Clashes. A Clash is when a player decides to initiate a forced confrontation with his opponent and gambles some of his special meter. Depending on how much you gamble and who initiates the Clash, you can instantly cause huge damage to your opponent or heal a large chunk of your lifebar. These Clashes, when used properly, can very easily turn a match if not careful. Several times, my opponent and I were down to less than half of our last lifebars when one of us hit a Clash, regained a third of our health, and were able to ride this late boost to victory.

The most ingenious additions to the gameplay, though, are the interactive environments. Across 15 different levels—most with multiple transitions to different sections of the world—you can interact with the background and drop surprisingly powerful attacks on your opponents that take advantage of your particular character’s natural abilities. Get backed into a corner as Bane? A quick tap of the right bumper will have him pick up a car and smash it over your opponent. Should you be playing as the Flash, though, you’ll simply jump off the car to then get behind your opponent and put them in the corner. Laser cannons, chandeliers, statues, robots, jet engines, and anything else you come across can be used to turn the tide of battle and I still haven’t found them all after literally pouring nearly 30 hours into the game.

When all is said and done, Injustice: Gods Among Us isn’t just another fighting game. It’s the ultimate in fan service and an unmistakable labor of love. This is the kind of game DC fans have been dreaming of seeing their heroes in for a long time. On top of the stellar gameplay and cornucopia of modes, there’s a treasure trove full of unlockables, amazing graphics, and superb audio, with a voice cast pulled from the annals of DC Animation’s greats—even if not all of them are in their traditional roles (i.e., Phil LaMarr as Aquaman). And the only knocks against this entire experience are minor. The load times are obnoxiously long and frequent between each battle, but even that can be forgiven when you see what you can do in the levels and how smooth every single fight is once it starts. A few character move sets have shades of Mortal Kombat leak through like Batman/Scorpion, Raven/Ermac, and Killer Frost/Sub-Zero, but everyone else seems truly and wholly original. And I wish the mirror match clones were more easily discernible as they look exactly the same as you do. I’m really nitpicking there, though. I can’t stress enough how polished this game is in nearly every facet. This is a satisfying, must-have gaming experience on every level.

Developer: NetherRealm Studios • Publisher: Warner Bros. Int. Ent. • ESRB: T – Teen • Release Date: 04.16.13
9.5
One of the best all-around fighting experiences you’re likely to find—and fans of both DC Comics and Mortal Kombat-style fighters will be blown away by this high-quality brawler of epic proportions.
The Good A story worthy of the comics, near-flawless mechanics, and enough collectibles to make this one of the deepest fighters you’ll ever see.
The Bad Obnoxiously long and frequent load times.
The Ugly Solomon Grundy takes the cake here.
Injustice: Gods Among Us is available on Xbox 360, PS3, and Wii U. Primary version reviewed was for Xbox 360.
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EGM Review: BattleBlock Theater

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April 7, 2013

Pussycats Galore

I’ll admit, I’ve always been a little slow to hop on the Behemoth bandwagon. I didn’t play Alien Hominid until it hit XBLA in 2007, and I didn’t get into Castle Crashers until 2011. Although I was late to the party, I loved both of those games, so when I heard that BattleBlock Theater, The Behemoth’s long-awaited next title, had finally been given a release date, I made sure I was ready and waiting for it to drop.

BattleBlock Theater begins as you and a bunch of your best friends—including your bestest friend in the whole wide world, Hatty Hattington—pile into a boat and sail off to parts unknown looking for adventure. After you sail and have some carefree fun for several days, a massive storm hits and sends your ship spiraling off course and into a long-forgotten island. When you come around, your character—customizable in regards to color and head shape—realizes that Hatty’s gone missing.

As you begin to explore the island, you discover a dilapidated theater and enter, hoping to find Hatty. But as soon as you set foot inside, you realize this is no ordinary theater. In fact, it’s been taken over by hundreds of massive cats with an affinity for fine technological devices and wreaking mayhem and murder upon unsuspecting travelers that stumble across their nefarious dungeon of doom. For reasons unknown, Hatty has become the man in charge, now sporting a possessed top hat instead of the friendly smile that once adorned his face. Hmm. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it has something to do with the possessed hat.

You and your friends must travel through eight worlds full of buzzsaws, laser beams, spears, spikes, and kitties who have a knack for making things blow up, all in the hopes of bringing Hatty back to his senses and escaping from this macabre deathtrap. As you traverse each of the game’s nearly 100 levels, you’re required to collect three jewels to unlock the exit, but you can also nab surplus gems to spend on character unlocks, as well as yarn to bribe the death-kittens into giving you better, more powerful weapons.

Those of you who are familiar with The Behemoth’s work will immediately recognize their trademark cartoon art style and quirky sense of humor. Many of BattleBlock’s laughs come courtesy of the game’s narrator, who spews canned, campy one-liners that help give each level the feel of a never-ending game-show parody.

When you dig past the hundreds of collectible heads for your characters, the bells and whistles of the presentation, and the strong pedigree the game has to live up to, you’ve got a deliciously punishing, fun platformer. In fact, I was often reminded of Super Meat Boy—both with regard to difficulty and the tightness with which you can control your character. And that challenge only gets worse on Insane mode, which features remixed versions of levels packed with even more traps vying to send you to an untimely death.

Unlike some of those more diabolical platformers, though, BattleBlock Theater shines brightest when playing with a friend. I really ought to dedicate this review to my girlfriend, whose willingness to lie down on a bed of spikes to offer me a makeshift platform helped make this review possible. I think this game is the only situation where it’s socially acceptable to look a loved one in the eye and say, “Go kill yourself.” While I still had a lot of fun playing alone, it was solving the more co-op oriented puzzles together that kept smiles plastered on our faces for the nearly eight-hour campaign.

A couple of downsides to playing cooperatively do pop up, however—namely the camera and spawning system. If one player gets too far ahead, the camera pulls way back, making it difficult for either player to see what’s happening onscreen. And when one character dies, where they respawn seems to be completely random. Sometimes they’ll appear right next to their teammate; other times they’ll be rocketed back several checkpoints, forcing them to deal with that lovely camera issue again. Aside from these minor gripes, though, there’s nary a fault to be found.

But the story is only the beginning of BattleBlock’s inescapable charm. There’s also a level editor, where you can craft your own gauntlets to test your friends’ skills and indulge your inner kitty. Want to set up a stroll in the park? How about a punishing series of pitfalls accompanied by lasers dealing death from above? The choice is yours.

Then there’s the biggest surprise of BattleBlock Theater: its versus options. With nearly a dozen game modes spread between 2-on-2 competitions and 4-on-4 contests that pit human players against a team of bots, BattleBlock offers enough variety to keep things fresh for many long hours after you’ve finished up the story. From King of the Hill to Capture the Flag, BattleBlock’s take on some classic versus modes, along with a few original to the game, had me and the other EGM editors rolling on the floor laughing. (Props to Intern Chris for taking home the most MVP awards, even if Associate Editor Josh Harmon and I routinely wiped the floor with him and News Editor Eric L. Patterson.) Things can definitely get a bit chaotic—in fact, they almost always do—but you’ll likely be having too much fun to care.

All in all, this is The Behemoth’s best game to date, and fans should take solace in knowing the incredibly long wait between titles was well worth it. And if you’re a newcomer who feels like it’s finally time to jump on the Behemoth bandwagon, I can’t think of a better game to start with.

Developer: The Behemoth • Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios • ESRB: T – Teen • Release Date: 04.03.13
9.0
Between taking in the hysterical story, trying your hand at level creation, or just blowing up some buddies in versus mode, most every gamer will find something to love about BattleBlock Theater. Whether played alone or with friends, The Behemoth’s latest is an absolute blast that’s well worth the price of admission.
The Good Between its story and versus modes and its level editor, this is one of the deepest downloadable games out there.
The Bad The camera and spawning system in story co-op.
The Ugly You ever seen an entire island run by cats? Trust me. You don’t want to.
BattleBlock Theater is an Xbox 360 (XBLA) exclusive.
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EGM Review: Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon

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Fly Luigi to the Moon

When the GameCube launched in 2001 without an official Mario game, the Nintendo faithful were stunned. Instead, they got a title starring Mario’s brother, Luigi, and immediately many gamers got that sinking feeling that the system was getting off on the wrong foot. But those who actually gave the game a chance found a charming title that reminded us why Luigi deserves the spotlight—maybe not as often as his big bro, but at least once in a while.

The next logical conclusion, then, was that Nintendo wouldn’t launch a system with this game unless they wanted to turn it into a new series. So, we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Several systems, including handhelds, came and went. And after all this waiting, Luigi’s Mansion had been relegated to nothing more than a nice one-hit wonder.

As is often the case with Nintendo, however, just when you think you’ve figured them out, they surprise you. Nearly 12 years post-launch of the original, Nintendo’s decided to give us Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon for the 3DS, a true sequel to that GameCube launch title.

The action unfolds with Professor E. Gadd continuing his paranormal research in a land called Evershade Valley. Here, the ghosts are docile and friendly, like Casper or Slimer. But when the mystical Dark Moon, which hovers over the valley, is shattered into six pieces by Luigi’s old nemesis, King Boo, the ghosts go bonkers. E. Gadd barely escapes to a special safe house he’d constructed in case of such an emergency, and he knows there’s only one call to make.

Being the one man with any sort of ghost-busting expertise in the Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi knows he has to help E. Gadd restore peace to the valley—even if he’s absolutely terrified to do so. Armed with an upgraded Poltergust and flashlight, Luigi must travel to five different locations across the valley in the hopes of collecting the remaining pieces of the Dark Moon (one conveniently fell in E. Gadd’s lap after it broke apart) and helping the ghosts there revert to their more docile state.

The first thing you’ll notice is how pretty Dark Moon looks on the 3DS—and how well it takes advantage of the system’s one-of-a-kind aspects. The gloom and doom of a haunted valley doesn’t usually afford the most vibrant color scheme, but this just makes the bright green of Luigi’s clothes and the rainbow array of colors that represents your ghastly foes pop even more on the tiny screen. Also, the lighting effects are superb; entire rooms flash when lightning strikes, and blowing out candles with the Poltergust can completely change the ambiance of any given area. Dark Moon also takes full advantage of the system’s 3D capabilities by having several puzzles play off the depth perception created by the top screen. As for the bottom screen, a Zelda-like map and list of objectives are displayed to help keep Luigi on point through this 10 to 15-hour adventure.

Dark Moon’s level design is also head and shoulders above its predecessor. With five different haunted houses, each with their own theme, the bevy of different puzzles you’ll face will keep you on your toes and entertained through the two dozen stages. You also get to see the range of this new Poltergust and Luigi’s new flashlight, as some simple techniques learned early on get inventive uses later as the stages become more complex.

The game does supply a few frustrations, however; the most notable of these is the aiming system. Dark Moon is just another entry on the ever-growing list of 3DS titles that could benefit from the use of a second analog stick, as you can’t easily turn Luigi in one direction while moving in another. And it grows more frustrating, as you face tougher and tougher ghosts—and the pull against them is what allows you to suck them into the Poltergust.

In light of the fact that the 3DS only has one analog stick—and that Nintendo decided not to offer support for the Circle Pad Pro—you’re left to make use of the system’s gyroscope, but I don’t imagine anyone playing this will want to spin around wildly with their handheld in an attempt to complete the game. I can just imagine someone sitting on a plane, flailing around and smacking their neighbors in the face. When they ask why you did that, you can just reply that you were desperately trying to catch imaginary ghosts. I’m sure that’ll go over well with the FAA.

The story’s also a bit of a drawback, because just like his brother Mario’s adventures, Luigi’s tale here hits almost all the same beats as the first Luigi’s Mansion. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as the game still has a lot of charm and remains quite humorous as scaredy-cat Luigi progresses further and further. I just expected a little more. Then again, after 12 years, I’m sure not everyone remembers the original Luigi’s Mansion, so this could also serve as an entry point for rookies.

The single-player isn’t the only thing that really caught my eye; one of the more pleasant surprises here is the multiplayer. This option offers four different modes that can feature up to four friends in the ScareScraper, a haunted building where the game’s host can determine where the team of ghost-busting, multicolored Luigis can start at before racing to collect as many pesky poltergeists as possible. I wonder if part of my enjoyment was that it wasn’t just a rip-off of the Luigi’s Mansion minigame from Nintendo Land and instead its own unique feature, though. Nonetheless, if you can’t get enough of the single-player action and want more of a challenge, this is a solid place to look.

Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon’s charm, great looks, and interesting puzzles overshadow its few flaws to provide a quality experience that fans of the original and newcomers to the series alike should enjoy in earnest.

Developer: Next Level Games • Publisher: Nintendo • ESRB: E – Everyone • Release Date: 03.24.13
8.5
Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon maintains much of the charm of the original and benefits from a superior coat of paint and level design. But one limitation the 3DS has—its lack of a second joystick—can prove irksome, especially as you move into the latter stages.
The Good A large variety of levels and puzzles keep the experience fresh.
The Bad The aiming system is in desperate need of a second joystick.
The Ugly Nearly 12 years between titles and virtually the same story.
Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon is a Nintendo 3DS exclusive.
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EGM Review: Assassin’s Creed III – The Tyranny of King Washington: Episode 2 – The Betrayal

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Fly Like an Eagle

Editor’s note: This review contains The Tyranny of King Washington: Episode 1 spoilers; it is recommended you play Episode 1 before reading our review of Episode 2.

Continuing the story started in the first episode of The Tyranny of King Washington, this episode, The Betrayal, features Ratonhnhaké:ton exploring a transformed Boston as he continues trying to unlock the mystery of how he’s ended up in an alternate universe.

After being captured by Israel Putnam during his assault against Benedict Arnold, Ratonhnhaké:ton is transported to Boston to be served up as a present to George Washington. Putnam has his own plan, however, hoping to use this gift to garner more favor with Washington and wrest Boston away from the clammy fingertips of the cowardly Ben Franklin. It’s while he is wasting away in a cell, waiting for Washington to decide his fate, that Ratonhnhaké:ton comes across an old friend from the past, learns that Sam Adams is a freedom fighter no matter what reality he’s in, and, most importantly, embraces his second spirit animal—the eagle.

The eagle spirit power focuses on the second pillar of Assassin’s Creed: movement. Transforming into an eagle allows Ratonhnhaké:ton to fly short distances, making it easier to cover more ground than on foot. Also, when in eagle form, Ratonhnhaké:ton can literally get the drop on his opponents as he performs some impressive aerial assassinations. Much better balanced than the wolf power, the eagle can only be used to move between certain points—and although it takes some getting used to, the additional crosshairs become second nature by the end of the tutorial, disguised as your “spirit journey.”

Unfortunately, a fair amount of the DLC still requires you to use the unbalanced wolf powers acquired in the first episode, making your time in Boston poorly spent; you can easily avoid open combat once again. Moving along the streets among Washington’s Bluecoats is a breeze, as you magically camouflage yourself in a wide-open area and reach your objectives with alarming speed; this turns your early missions into glorified fetch quests.

Despite a slow start to this section of the story, The Betrayal picks up dramatically once you no longer need to rely on your wolf powers. The second half starts an inevitable ramp up in the action that not only sees this episode conclude on a high note, but will hopefully continue to a satisfying climax in Episode 3.

As is the case with most Assassin’s Creed-related items, the story is the heaviest focus; in that regard, The Betrayal does a fine job of moving this tale along. Combine this with the inventive eagle powers and amped-up pacing seen in the latter stages, and anyone who enjoyed Episode 1 will no doubt enjoy their time, short as it is (the episode shouldn’t take most players more than 2 to 3 hours again). 

Developer: Ubisoft Quebec • Publisher: Ubisoft • ESRB: M – Mature • Release Date: 03.19.2013
7.5 The new eagle powers are far more impressive than the wolf skills from the first episode, and although the story drags early on, it picks up nicely towards the end, ramping up to a hopefully fitting—and satisfying— conclusion in the final episode.
The Good New eagle powers take some getting used to, but they make for interesting assassinations.
The Bad Needing to use wolf powers to worm your way through alternate-universe Boston.
The Ugly Ben Franklin as a sniveling coward in the mud.
Assassin’s Creed III: The Tyranny of King Washington – Episode 2: The Betrayal is available on PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, and PC. Primary version reviewed was for Xbox 360.
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EGM Review: LEGO City Undercover

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We Built This City

As a child who grew up playing with LEGO, I came to love those themed sets that dealt with undersea exploration, deep-space mining, and pirates (not the stupid ones based off Pirates of the Caribbean, but actual pirates). Growing older, I also came to have an interest in Traveller’s Tales’ LEGO games, ever since the 2005 release of LEGO Star Wars (again, the Pirates of the Caribbean one was an exception). But much like how the models I created as a kid started to gather dust as I moved past that childhood phase, the licensed-movie LEGO games lost their luster—and my interest in the series became fleeting at best.

Then came LEGO Batman in 2008, which offered something substantially different: an original story not based on a movie. Of course, it wasn’t the deepest plot for a Batman-related property, considering the general audience of the LEGO games, but it rekindled a spark of interest in the series for me.

After LEGO Batman, though, Traveller’s Tales went back to their tried-and-true method of replicating movies. But, for me, it was too late. They’d opened Pandora’s Box. I’d seen that these games could actually take licensed properties and create original adventures—much like I did as a child with my toys. And it seems that, finally, Traveller’s Tales has realized this is the way to reach the largest possible audience.

Once they repeated their success with Batman in LEGO Batman 2: DC Superheroes, Traveller’s Tales turned their attention to LEGO City, the longest continuously running theme in the building blocks’ history (if you include the “Trains” series under LEGO City, which I do). Here was the biggest challenge yet—unlike Batman, no source material existed beyond the actual building kits themselves. And much like I did as a child, the developers used their imaginations to mold easily the most entertaining LEGO game to date.

The story revolves around one Chase McCain, a disgraced cop who gets a second chance when the criminal mastermind he once helped take down, Rex Fury, escapes from prison and sets off on the largest crime wave in LEGO City history. McCain’s greatest strength lies in the fact that he’s a master of disguise; he can don eight unique outfits to solve puzzles and work his way through LEGO City’s surprisingly seedy underbelly to get another shot at Fury. Rex can also commandeer most vehicles due to his police status, and he puts his police training to use to jump, climb, or free-run around any obstacles in his path.

In other words, a lot of the more “mature” mechanics we see in games like Grand Theft Auto or Assassin’s Creed are incorporated into a kids’ game here. Would this make LEGO City Undercover a “gateway game,” then, for younger players? I don’t know the answer to that one, but it allowed me to thoroughly immerse myself in an experience that I initially thought might have trouble appealing to a grown-up audience.

Stellar gameplay isn’t the only thing that transcends demographics, however. LEGO City Undercover makes constant references to classic TV shows and movies like The Shawshank Redemption, Starsky and Hutch, and every single Arnold Schwarzenegger flick without losing its primary target audience. I laughed at the Austrian-accented construction worker who makes references to avoiding “collateral damage” on the dig site and hates that the electric fence “jingles all the way” as it opens, while my 10-year-old cousin laughed because the character sounds funny. I laughed at the man in the prison yard who helps me break into Rex Fury’s cell because he’s doing a spot-on Morgan Freeman impersonation; my 10-year-old cousin laughed because the character sounds funny.

Mind you, these characters are also integral to moving forward a plot that takes you all over a massive LEGO metropolis that compares in scope to most any other open-world title—and should take most gamers 12 to 15 hours to complete. That timeframe’s only in terms of the story, though; LEGO City Undercover may also be a completionist’s worst nightmare, with dozens of different activities that include time-trial races, photo missions, foiling random robberies, and even catching aliens on the way to hoarding more than 500 collectibles. This could bloat the time needed to 100-percent the game to double—if not triple—what it takes to beat the story.

As good as all this sounds, though, LEGO City Undercover inherits a few issues from its predecessors—mostly on the technical side. The driving controls feel loose, and considering how large the world is, driving’s a necessary action to get from Point A to Point B—especially since there isn’t a fast-travel system to speak of if you don’t build it first. The idea of needing to collect bricks to build up the world around you to open up train stations, ports for boats, or car garages fits in well with the theme, but it’s counterintuitive for an open-world game and needlessly lengthens some trips between missions. It’s rare that you’ll have enough bricks to open up a point on your first visit there.

Speaking of needlessly lengthening the experience, the game’s load times are abysmal. I know these are a necessary evil, but LEGO City Undercover features easily some of the longest waits I’ve experienced in years; the game just seems to taunt you with a progress bar on the Wii U GamePad that ever-so-slowly fills up. Anytime I entered a building or started a new mission, I was met with yet another progress bar—and another clump of hair I’d pulled from my head in frustration.

While on the subject of the GamePad, not only is it used to communicate with the police station, but it also serves as an audio listening tool, and as a camera during surveillance missions. It’s an ingenious little plot device, but it was a mistake to also place the city map on the GamePad’s screen. I’d crash far too often while driving when I looked down for more efficient paths to my objective, since the ones given via the AI—represented by a path of green studs on my TV screen—were some of the most roundabout ways to get to a destination I’ve ever seen.

LEGO City Undercover is also one of the few Wii U titles that doesn’t allow you to play entirely on the GamePad because of these mechanics, which meant that I had to choose between watching hockey and playing this game—instead of doing both at the same time like with most other Wii U games.

Another returning LEGO problem here is the ever-broken camera. It’s understandably fixed in many instances in order to hide certain collectibles, but not being able to move the camera during a lot of the free-run sequences had me missing platforms, climbing in the wrong direction, or just not being able to see where I needed to go next.

These technical shortcomings aside, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a good time playing LEGO City Undercover. The plot’s definitely the best in a LEGO title yet, and it makes me hope that Traveller’s Tales continues down the path of original games based on licensed products—not straight-up movie rip-offs. The music does a great job of added to the lighthearted tone, and the voice acting’s superb all around. Children of all ages (even this 27-year-old one!) can laugh at different points about different things without the quality of the experience diminished.

If you’re one of the few people who actually owns a Wii U, LEGO City Undercover will serve as a nice break from the gaming drought you’ve been suffering as of late. If nothing else, the bevy of collectibles here should keep you busy just long enough until Nintendo releases another worthwhile title for the system—several more months down the road.

Developer: TT Fusion • Publisher: Nintendo • ESRB: E10+ – Everyone 10 and up • Release Date: 03.18.2013
8.0 Great gameplay and a humorous, well-written plot are more than enough to help LEGO City Undercover overcome some of the franchise’s lingering technical flaws, making it one of the few worthwhile experiences on the Wii U.
The Good Well written; incorporates all the best mechanics from previous LEGO games.
The Bad Also incorporates all the worst mechanics from previous LEGO games.
The Ugly So many collectibles that completionists won’t sleep for weeks.
LEGO City Undercover is a Wii U exclusive.
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EGM Review: Dead Space 3: Awakened

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Rise and shine

WARNING: This review contains spoilers in regards to Dead Space 3. If you haven’t finished Dead Space 3, you shouldn’t read this DLC review.

After destroying the Marker signal at the end of Dead Space 3, Isaac Clarke and Sgt. John Carver’s fates were unknown. All we knew was that, somehow, they’d survived after Isaac’s voice came across the radio calling out for Ellie conveniently after she rocketed off into slip space. Dead Space 3: Awakened is downloadable content intended to explain just what happened after the Necromoon fell from the sky and crashed back into Tau Volantis—and how Isaac’s still kicking around on that iceball.

The primary problem with Awakened is that it fails to explain anything, is full of loopholes, and asks players to suspend belief far too many times. The story begins with Isaac waking up in an ice cavern on Tau Volantis. When he and Carver realize they’re not dead, they try to figure out how they survived riding a moon into a planet like a cowboy straddling a bull at the rodeo. Isaac’s answer? Aliens. Something on Tau Volantis didn’t want them to die. Even Carver recoils at the idea and calls Isaac crazy, speaking for everyone who’ll play this mess of a tale.

Once our heroes come to their senses a bit, they realize that many of Danik’s men who were stationed on the planet at the end of Dead Space 3 are still around. So, Isaac and John decide if they can steal one of Danik’s ships, they can get back to Earth, and if they need spare parts, they can grab some from the ghost flotilla still orbiting Tau Volantis. Of course, at this point, I’m still trying to figure out how anything survived on the planet so perfectly AFTER A MOON DROPPED FROM ORBIT ONTO EVERYTHING. The ship graveyard, the men still stationed on the planet, all the ships—they should all have been wiped out. Maybe because the moon was made of flesh, it cushioned the blow? Maybe because Isaac is crazy, he’s still just floating in space on life support, and it’s all a dream? I don’t know the answer, because Awakened asks you to just take everything at face value with no explanation whatsoever.

The technical reason why nothing was destroyed is a lot more depressing than poor storytelling—it’s just plain laziness. Instead of creating new levels, the three chapters of Awakened simply reuse sites that Isaac and John have already visited, culminating back on the Terra Nova. At least the locations look a little different at certain points, especially the Terra Nova itself. Danik’s men who survived (but shouldn’t have) have a rift form in their ranks, which leads to some forming their own cultlike church aboard the Terra Nova and deforming their bodies to look like Necromorphs, even though they’re not quite dead—and causing Clarke and Carver all kinds of trouble.

Beyond the story, Awakened‘s other major flaw is that it’s short, even for DLC. If it takes you more than 90 minutes to beat this, hang up your headset because you have to admit you’re just not that good at games. Heck, the end credits are nearly as long as Awakened itself. For $10 (800 Microsoft Points), there’s just not enough value here for that inflated price tag.

Now, my review has been resoundingly negative thus far, but I’d be remiss if I failed to mention some aspects of Awakened that I thoroughly enjoyed once I ignored the flawed logic the story beat me over the head with. Unlike in Dead Space 3, there’s actually a lot of tension here. The hallucinations that plagued Isaac in the first two games return in full force; you’ll be walking along, when suddenly, the screen will flash red and enemies will appear out of nowhere, making the action far less predictable than in the main game.

The red tint may signify that the enemies are only hallucinations—but to Isaac, they’re all too real, so you have to fight them as you would actual enemies, consuming ammo and losing health along the way. Of course, if they’re not real in the physical plane, they shouldn’t drop ammo, health, and items! But the idea that Isaac’s mind is being torn through like wet toilet paper is a theme that the main game sorely lacked, and it’s a welcome addition.

For its faults, Dead Space 3 was certainly a polished experience, and that’s also the case with Awakened. The non-story-related banter between Clarke and Carver is witty and entertaining, and the idea of a crazed space cult onboard a dead ship gives the game an old-school Dead Space feel that most fans of the series have missed—and will appreciate seeing again. I loved the boss battles, new enemies, and the general feeling of not knowing what was around every corner. If Visceral could’ve somehow combined the gameplay found here with the story of Dead Space 3, I think a vast majority of fans would’ve been a lot more satisfied with the final product.

Developer: Visceral Games • Publisher: Electronic Arts • ESRB: M – Mature • Release Date: 03.12.2013
6.5 Dead Space 3 would have been well served to include some of the thrilling gameplay featured here, but Awakened‘s convoluted narrative has far too many absurd plot holes—and is far too short—to be worth anything to anyone but the most die-hard Dead Space fans.
The Good Provides the kind of psychological horror we expected from the main game.
The Bad Very short; backtracking through old levels; too many plot holes.
The Ugly Trying to play with a solid grip on science and logic.
Dead Space 3: Awakened is available on PS3 (PSN), Xbox 360 (XBLA), and PC. Primary version reviewed was for XBLA.
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EGM Review: God of War: Ascension

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March 9, 2013

Kratos goes through the motions

When Kratos arrived on the scene back in 2005, he quickly became one of my favorite gaming protagonists—probably because we had so much in common. We both have familial roots in the Mediterranean. We both have wicked-awesome goatees. And we’re both fueled by an all-consuming rage that the rest of the EGM crew can attest to me possessing when it’s my turn to drive during lunch break. (Stupid SoCal drivers.) Anyway, it’s been with great joy that I’ve played every God of War game to date.

But I’ll admit that when I heard about God of War: Ascension being a prequel, I was filled with more fear than joy. Personally, I can’t remember anything with that label that lived up to what came before it, whether it was a movie, comic book, or videogame. So, it was with much trepidation that I fired up Ascension, not really knowing what to expect.

This trip back in time finds Kratos taking on the Furies in an attempt to break his bond to Ares—and sets our bald, brawny antihero down the path of the main God of War trilogy. You see, before Kratos was to make his mad, one-man assault against Ares in the original God of War, he had to break the magical bond that tied him to the god to begin with. Otherwise, he’d be powerless in his quest for revenge.

Breaking a vow with a god, however, is not taken lightly. It’s here that we meet the Furies, whose sole purpose is to make those who would go back on their word suffer for all eternity. And it’s with great joy that this trio of underworld goddesses adds Kratos to their list of prisoners. He’s not into BDSM, though (at least when it comes to himself), and so the game opens with Kratos escaping his prison on the massive, 100-handed Hekatonkheires, a giant more powerful than even the Titans—and the first to break his word to a god. In his case, Zeus.

These opening scenes pull you back into the familiar button-prompt events and blood-gushing brutality that’s defined much of the God of War series. For fans of the franchise, this will feel like second nature, as the game keeps the action heavy from this opening confrontation with the Furies to the end credits. And you’ll immediately appreciate the cinematic quality of the camera movements that attempt to give Ascension that epic feeling we all expect.

The camera isn’t perfect all the time, though, and it provides the only real technical flaw I found with the experience. As Kratos begins his escape of the Hekatonkheires prison, the camera pulls out—this game actually found an even bigger creature than the Titans to have Kratos run around on. The detail and scope of this monster is exquisite, and it makes you wish that the action would let up for just a short while so you can take in the magnificent scene properly.

As the camera pans out farther and farther, the action continues on the ground as prisoners under the Furies’ control continue their assault. With the camera zoomed so far out in order to give a glimpse of the monumental levels, though, I couldn’t differentiate between Kratos and the enemies trying to attack him. And this continues throughout the game; you’ll find several instances where the camera flares out and Kratos is a mere speck against this gorgeous background. But the enemies keep coming.

Despite the occasionally wonky camera and segments where the action flows poorly, Ascension is still an impressive achievement on a technical level. The graphics and sound are both top notch, and the gameplay itself may well be the best we’ve seen from the series. The new combat system is the most elaborate yet, with seven brand-new powers, a new sub-weapon system that allows for a bevy of new combos, and a refined Rage meter that fills up and depletes faster than ever before, offering the best button-mashers multiple moments for Kratos to flip out.

But while the game shines technically, it stumbles creatively. While the variety here is appreciated, much of it’s simply borrowed from other franchises, making several sequences feel less like God of War and more like any old action-adventure title—such as the sliding sequences down slippery hills, a flavor of the month in game design right now. Meanwhile, the climbing segments through dilapidated ruins remind me more of Uncharted than God of War, while Kratos’ new time-control power screams Prince of Persia.

And this brings us back to the story. Whether you’re a God of War apologist or a stern critic of the franchise, it’s easy to see that this is the weakest story the series has offered yet. I understand that it’s difficult to craft an original tale when fans already know that no matter what happens, Kratos’ fate is sealed. That’s a motif central to Greek mythology, but it’s not a really a big bonus for a videogame.

The new villains are poorly developed and desperately try to fill the role that Ares—and, later, Zeus—provided over the main trilogy, and they fail miserably in this attempt. The levels, although definitely gorgeous and massive, are also the weakest in terms of ingenuity the series has ever seen. And the mythological references are so obscure that you’ll need Google open nearby at all times. It feels like Ascension tries to wring out the last few drops from a dried-out dish rag of mythos. Oh, and let’s not forget the plot holes left open by Kratos’ new powers that he obviously never had in the main series. So, what the heck happened to them? Oh, that’s right—you take them into multiplayer.

Yes, here comes my obligatory statement on that segment. I did indeed try every mode several times and poured a half dozen hours into the experience, leveling up my character and maxing out several pieces of equipment. Early on in the game, while Kratos is escaping his prison, you come across another prisoner who’s thrilled—at first—to be freed by Kratos. But elation sooner turns to fear, as the chaos Kratos has unleashed begins to wash over him. But before this random NPC can pay the ultimate price, he’s magically teleported to Olympus and becomes the basis for your avatar in multiplayer, where you’re tasked with choosing a god to champion from Ares, Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades (based off the four elemental powers Kratos acquires in single-player). Depending upon whom you choose, your powers and buffs change.

After a quick training session with your chosen abilities, it’s off to the arenas—and it’s nice to see familiar series backdrops here, as iconic locations like the Labyrinth Cube from God of War III are reimagined. You also have theGod of War take on your standard smattering of multiplayer modes like Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, Capture the Point, Capture the Flag, and even a wave based co-op mode. Some of these play better than others, though, as the arenas are smaller (for the most part) in an attempt to jack up the encounter rates, since every battle is hand-to-hand. This works well in Deathmatch and even Capture the Point, but Capture the Flag is a mess—a team that works well together can win a match in only a couple of minutes with the flags so close together. The small teams—maximum 4-vs.-4—also put a limit on what could’ve been some truly chaotic-yet-fun multiplayer action.

Really, this multiplayer isn’t anything we haven’t seen before; it reminded me of BioShock 2’s in many ways, as it takes modern designs and conforms them to the God of War theme. But the gimmick wears out quickly, and I found myself bored far too often. It’s not a bad add-on, but for as much as it’s been hyped, it’s not something that was really necessary, either—and I doubt many players will put more than a couple of semi-enjoyable hours into it.

God of War: Ascension is a highly polished action-adventure game—and probably one of the strongest we’ll see from a  technical standpoint this year. But the soul of what made this franchise great is lost here, as this ultimately feels like a last-ditch attempt to squeeze in one last Kratos appearance this console generation. In the end,Ascension will be remembered as if Kratos’ legendary rage and anger simply faded out as an exasperated sigh of resignation.

Developer: Sony Santa Monica • Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment • ESRB: M – Mature • Release Date: 03.12.2013
7.0 A clear example of a studio going to the well with a franchise one too many times. Although highly polished and still entertaining for fans of the franchise, Ascension lacks the soul of its predecessors as it scrapes the bottom of the Greek-mythology barrel to try to deliver on a franchise that’s clearly run dry of fresh ideas.
The Good More elaborate combat system punctuated by a refined Rage meter.
The Bad The story is easily the weakest of the series.
The Ugly A parasite-infected Hekatonkheires.
God of War: Ascension is a PS3 exclusive.
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