Category: Written


The Pullbox – Issue #8.2

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August 13, 2012

A decent haul this week saw a couple of new number ones permeate the pile and make things interesting for this week’s Pullbox!

Note: Due to EGM’s presence at Gamescom, the Pullbox will be put on hiatus next week.

DC – Batman and Robin #12 – The new villain Terminus finally reveals himself to Batman and looks to not only destroy the Dark Knight and Boy Wonder, but all of Gotham as well!

This book was one of the most anti-climactic ends to a story arc I’ve read in quite some time. Not only did Batman easily dispose of this new villain, permanently, but the entire sequence with the bomb played out way too much like The Dark Knight Rises and it makes me wonder how much comics and movies go hand-in-hand nowadays. At the very least, we know now Batman can hopefully move on to a villain with a little more gravitas than the awful Terminus and get this book back on track after this issue jumped off the rails. Not pleased with it at all right now.

DC – Deathstroke #12 – Lobo is ready to wipe the Earth from the galaxy baby and only Deathstroke is in his way! How Lobo escaped in the first place also surfaces and it makes Deathstroke realize he has a lot more problems on his hands than just the last of the Czarnians.

Now this is how you finish off a story arc. The end battle between Deathstroke and Lobo was epic and Deathstroke’s finally few pages of dialogue really helped you see the inner workings of the character more than anything else up to this point. The art is classic Rob Liefeld meaning you either love it or hate it, but considering how much action this book had in it, I think he was the right guy for the job. The big question now is to figure out where Slade goes from here after collecting one of his biggest bounties in quite some time.

Marvel – Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe #2 – Deadpool has a new voice inside his head calling the shots and it spells disaster for the entirety of the Marvel Universe as no one is safe as Deadpool hasn’t just broken the fourth wall, he’s shattered it!

I really thought I would be enjoying this spoof spin-off of Deadpool’s usual over the top antics a lot more, but it may in fact be too crazy even for him as it moves away from the goofy and into the dark comedy realm a bit, and I’m not really sure how I like that. The Avengers, Spider-Man, Dr. Doom, and The Incredible Hulk all fall victim to Wade Wilson in this issue and do so far too easily for my liking. I mean, I’ve wanted to shoot Spider-Man in the head for a long while, too, but this left a surprisingly poor taste in my mouth, even if Spidey’s gruesome demise was at least awesome to watch. I’m still not sure how to feel about this one, but I’ll definitely be picking up Issue Three to see just where it can go from here.

Marvel – Gambit #1 – Out of the bayou, off campus from Wolverine’s school, and on a mission to get himself into some old school trouble, Remy LeBeau, best known to the Marvel Universe as Gambit, is looking to cause some trouble with some very interesting characters.

I really didn’t know what to expect from this comic, but a cross between the spy gadgets you might get in an Ed Brubaker book crossed with the crazy thieving scenarios of something like the movie Entrapment, but with a Marvel twist (and no Catherine Zeta Jones in spandex unfortunately), left me just scratching my head in a perplexed, and definitely not entertained sort of way. The coolest thing about Gambit is his power and we barely saw even a glimmer of that in this book and then the entire ending was like diving off a cliff into three feet of water. It made no damn sense and didn’t make me want to do it again. A disappointing start for this new book and yet another Marvel #1 in recent weeks that just left me asking ‘why?’.

Valiant – Archer and Armstrong #1 – The top 1% of America is actually part of a sadistic religious cult who trains children inside an amusement park and only lets the one who can rise above them all out into the real world. His mission is simple: destroy the evil that cannot be named, but who conveniently hangs out in a dive bar in New York City as is actually named Armstrong. What the…

So, yeah, my summary is exactly what happens in this first issue of this new series from Valiant Comics. And as crazy as it sounds, wow, it was really good. It got off to a slow start and I admit it gave off a weird vibe, but by the time I finished it, I seriously cannot wait to see what happens next in what could turn out to be one of the most enjoyable odd couples to watch as Archer, the boy who rose above it all, and Armstrong, a tank of a man who doesn’t seem all that bad but is branded evil by this religious cult, will have to work together in short order I’m sure. Take what you will from the comic’s clear political statements, the point is the comic is well-written, thoroughly entertaining, and setting itself up to be something that could be a regular here in the Pullbox. Do yourself a favor, and pick this up.

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EGM Review: New Super Mario Bros. 2

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Mario loves da gold! Wa-hoooo!

Ever since Mario had to traverse eight definitely different worlds, donned his first set of raccoon ears to fly, and bashed Bowser’s seven nasty Koopalings, the formula to making a great side-scrolling Mario game hasn’t changed much over the years. New items have been introduced, and Bowser Jr. sometimes takes the place of Larry, Morton Jr., Wendy O., Iggy, Lemmy, Roy, and Ludwig, but for the most part, things have stayed relatively the same.

And this formula’s maintained once again with New Super Mario Bros. 2 for the 3DS. The Koopalings, who have a bit more of a grown-up design—they’re technically of legal drinking age now, after all—and their dad, Bowser, have kidnapped Princess Peach for the billionth time. So, it’s once again up to Mario and Luigi to storm through the Mushroom Kingdom and leave kicked turtles shells and flattened Goombas in their wake, whether alone, or by linking up for some brotherly co-op action.

The twist this time is that the Mushroom Kingdom has apparently gone through some sort of economic boom, because coins are everywhere. New Golden Fire Flowers turn blocks into coins or cause enemies to yield coins when defeated. Golden turtle shells leave a path of coins in their wake for Mario and Luigi to collect. The brothers can even carry around golden blocks that drop more coins as they jump, run, and fly through eight more worlds based in familiar Mushroom Kingdom locales. Along with these new items are the returning regular Fire Flower, Super Mushroom, Invincibility Star, and Raccoon Leaf. With the Raccoon Leaf, we also see the P-Meter return—which, when full, allows Mario and Luigi to temporarily fly through the skies of a given stage.

Aside from the new items, New Super Mario Bros. 2 does offer something that’s been critical to all Mario games, side-scrolling or 3D: tight controls and intricate puzzles that can be solved using Mario’s bevy of jumps and other abilities like the butt-stomp. This platforming perfection is what makes Mario games so fun, and in that regard, New Super Mario Bros. 2 definitely succeeds with its own share of secrets, collectibles, and branching pathways that can be unlocked depending on how you should advance through the game. The more time you put into practicing your jumps, the more you should get out of this Mario adventure.

It’s also nice to see the Koopalings gimmick taking a necessary step forward to provide us wily old Mario veterans a little bit of a challenge this time around. Not only do the Koopalings have their trademark magic wands that allow them to blast fireballs at Mario, but each one also has a lair uniquely designed to their strengths, requiring Mario to overcome extra obstacles he’s never seen before from Bowser’s seven brats. This adds a tinge of excitement to reaching the end of each level; you never knew what to expect next, as the lairs are definitely brand-new experiences.

And speaking of new, the newest game mode, Coin Rush, is probably what will help keep New Super Mario Bros. 2 fresh in people’s minds more than anything, as it provides an arcade-like replayability we haven’t seen in a Mario game in decades. Traversing through three random stages with one life and trying to set a coin high score to share with your friends via StreetPass not only keeps in line with the theme of the game—which promotes you to try to collect 1 million lifetime coins—but also gives you a chance to readily compare scores with your friends like you’d see with online leaderboards.

All in all, not much has changed since the last New Super Mario Bros., but not much really needed to change in the first place. The controls are still as tight as ever, the look and sound drips classic Mario, the platforming puzzles are expertly designed, and even the Koopalings have seen a bit of a facelift. The new Coin Rush mode adds some needed replayability, and the StreetPass leaderboards can become addictive if you’re into that arcade style of play.

The only thing you might not enjoy is the fact that the Princess still hasn’t figured out how to keep out of Bowser’s clutches, but then again, it wouldn’t quite be a Mario game if she did. New Super Mario Bros. 2 succeeds in finding a way to stay entertaining using a formula first used 25-plus years ago, and fans old and new shouldn’t wait to jump into the world’s most famous plumber’s latest adventure.

SUMMARY: Though we’ve seen this formula before, New Super Mario Bros. 2 finds a way to keep itself just fresh enough while still hitting platfroming perfection.

  • THE GOOD: Still the tightest platforming out there.
  • THE BAD: We’ve seen this formula before.
  • THE UGLY: The Mushroom Kingdom’s imminent economic collapse.

SCORE: 9.0

New Super Mario Bros. 2 is a 3DS exclusive.

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The Sleeper Hold – Episode 8

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August 8, 2012

The 25th anniversary of Summerslam is right around the corner and with the card only half-booked, it would be interesting to see how storylines continued to develop before heading into one of the most anticipated PPVs of the year.

Note: Due to EGM’s presence at Gamescom next week, there will be no Sleeper Hold until the week following Summerslam.

Main Plot Overview: CM Punk is tired of being disrespected and confronts AJ at the top of RAW to demand that the main event at Summerslam no longer be a triple-threat match as he can lose the belt without even being pinned or submitting. AJ does not care though, looking fantastic in an all-white power suit (have I mentioned before on this how much I love her?) and continues to supposedly disrespect Punk by making the main event of RAW John Cena vs Daniel Bryan in a warm up match for the two before Summerslam (the Big Show and Randy Orton were also in action). Punk demanded a match though and so AJ said it wasn’t up to her, but the WWE Universe as they got to vote to see if Punk would face Kane, Rey Mysterio, or The Miz (the two not picked faced off later that night, in this case being Kane and Miz).

Later in the evening, after the brilliant main event match (more on that in a bit) Punk would continue his gradual heel turn as after Big Show again stormed the ring and John Cena went for an AA, Punk pushed the two of them again. Punk then talked about how he felt he was being walked all over and that part of the reason is his fault, as Cena pointed out in an earlier promo, and so it was no more Mr. Nice Guy from CM Punk. The show then ended with Punk looking to do more damage to the two men in the ring, but Big Show popped up and knocked out both Cena and Punk with a pair of WMD punches, which basically is just to instill doubt in people’s minds that Punk may not walk out of LA the champ.

Match of the Night: I was pleasantly surprised that the best match of the night was actually the main event. Nothing else was particularly special, although the CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio and Christian vs Alberto Del Rio matches had some very good moments.

Yes, amazingly, the John Cena vs Daniel Bryan match was the match most worth watching last night as Bryan carried Cena with a match that saw several finishers countered into submission maneuvers, submission maneuvers countered into finishers, high flying moves off the ring apron, and Daniel Bryan’s continued descent into madness as he tore up ‘YES!’ signs in the crowd and even got into shouting matches with some of the more vocal members of the WWE Universe.

No surprise that Cena was put over in this match with Summerslam less than two weeks away and him in the WWE title match, but Daniel Bryan continued to impress with his in-ring skills, including a flying headbutt clear across the entirety of the ring, Sure, Cena hit his few patented maneuvers, but see Daniel Bryan work with him though the match was a thing of beauty and it actually made so you couldn’t look away as you didn’t know what was going to happen next.

Promo of the Night: Although it was the shortest promo of the night, when CM Punk knocked over Cena and Big Show and grabbed the microphone after Cena’s main event match, the venom he spewed for the next minute solid was spectacular. With shades of the anger he exhibited when he dropped his infamous pipe bomb last year, Punk’s monologue called out everyone around him, including Jerry Lawler, and talked about how important the WWE Championship really is and that the WWE Universe did not truly understand what went with carrying that belt around.

The promo was also critical as it took another step towards Punk’s heel turn, even though much of the crowd still agrees with Punk and so he is in the murky ‘anti-heel’ phase now where he may be mad all the time and he might take some cheap shots (although he legitimately beat Mysterio earlier in the evening), he makes good points and is still one of the best wrestlers in the WWE, making a strong portion of the fan base able to forgive some of the things he says and does. And for that single minute there, backed up by the pure rage that Punk holds at bay, many of us hoped Punk wouldn’t stop talking and RAW would end on another of his rants.

Shocker of the Night: This was a difficult one in that there wasn’t really much to be shocked by over the course of the night. But if we had to choose something, it would probably be a couple of things in the CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio match. The big shocker here was that Rey Mysterio hit his patented 619, but since the WWE didn’t want the champ to look weak against a random opponent, and so Punk could keep yelling ‘Best in the World!’, Mysterio supposedly got greedy and Punk countered Mysterio’s high-flying maneuver follow-up to the 619 and was able to capitalize for the win.

Also just as shocking was that Mysterio looked like he was dressed up as The Riddler from Batman Forever as he was wearing all white with a big green question mark in the middle of his chest. And I thought I was a big comic book fan.

Cheap Pop of the Night: Alberto Del Rio made the mistake earlier in the evening of calling AJ ‘crazy’ and in doing so prompted her fury, putting Del Rio in a match against Christian, that also could have been a Match of the Night contender had it not ended cheaply with a distraction by Ricardo Rodriguez. After the match was over though, with Del Rio victorious, he was shocked to see Sheamus on the Titantron, with Del Rio’s keys to his custom Ferrari. Sheamus then proceeded to talk about how he was going to see how San Antonio (the location of last night’s RAW) treated him and in doing so got thunderous applause from the crowd.

It was humorous to see Sheamus TOUTing his escapades the entire evening throughout San Antonio, continuing the cheap pops, but the best part of the night was when he brought back a filthy Ferrari that Ricardo then had to clean up. But for this blatant imagery and constant mentioning of San Antonio, Sheamus gets our Cheap Pop of the Night.

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EGM Review: The Expendables 2 Video Game

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Worst. Movie Game. EVER.

Most movie games are rushed projects that require developers to take an idea loosely based around the corresponding film, staple some play mechanics together, and hope it holds up enough to warrant even making the game at all. So, when I heard that a game based on The Expendables 2 was coming out just before the movie, I definitely didn’t think we’d be getting a masterpiece—but it’s been a while since I’ve seen a pile of slop this bad.

Understandably, the game took the twinstick-shooter route, since it’s easier to create a fully realized 3D world in a short amount of time in this genre (just look at all of the twinstick-shooter indie titles on XBLA). This also allows for 4-player drop-in, drop-out co-op, the one thing that actually works here. But on every other level, this game is a horrible waste of time. Oh, The Expendables 2 Videogame, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways…

The first—and most obvious—offense to your eyes comes with the graphics. The models lack any sort of detail whatsoever once you enter a story chapter, and the game only utilizes two colors, it seems: brown and gray. Not only does this have the effect of blending everything together so you can barely tell who or what is shooting at you, but it also means that most levels blend together as well.

And while we’re on the aesthetics, let’s get to the second point of hatred: the putrid voiceover work. I appreciate Dolph Lundgren and Terry Crews actually lending their voices to the game (not like they got a lot on their plate these days), but the Stallone impersonator is just awful, and the dialogue is horribly written. “What’s the plan, Barney?” “Same as always! Kill everything between us and the objective!” Are you kidding me?! I know elementary-school kids who have a better grasp of dialogue. At least the music’s somewhat enjoyable and gives the game an epic action-movie feel, even if nothing else about the game does.

And just think—I haven’t even gotten to my hatred of the actual gameplay yet! Twinstick shooters don’t usually allow for a lot of gameplay variety—you simply mow down the same two or three enemy types for however many levels the game entails—so I appreciate the fact that the game attempts to break up the monotony that can sometimes plague these titles with some on-rails shooter levels. But bizarrely, the one element the game insists on realism is the gun clips, which cause you to constantly reload and never let you get into any sort of pace when on foot, making you miss many targets during the on-rails levels.

Plus, making the player hold the right trigger in order to fire when on foot defeats the purpose of using both sticks for much of the combat. And since only the sniper character has a laser sight, unless you’re constantly firing—which you can’t, due to the clip sizes—you have no idea where your chosen character is aiming, making the combat feel choppy all around. Additionally, the glitchy hit mechanics mean that you don’t even get proper feedback half the time on whether or not your shot actually hit an enemy, leaving you guessing until they mercilessly fade away instantly after falling to the dirt.

Finally, I hate the story. The dialogue definitely doesn’t paint a vivid picture, but what’s worse is that the game offers no opening cinematic to explain anything and just throws you right to the wolves. This left me hating the experience even more, as your purpose is constantly and consistently murky.

And that sums up The Expendables 2 Videogame in a nutshell: This game has no purpose. It’s one of the worst wastes of time I’ve ever had to review. It has no direction, shoddy controls, an ugly look, and possibly the most absent plot in the modern console generation. It’s an embarrassment, even as movie games go. I implore you to steer clear of this title at all costs.

SUMMARY: Aside from the seamless drop-in, drop-out co-op, this is one of the worst videogames I’ve had the displeasure of playing in a long time. It looks awful, controls horribly, and the plot is nonexistent. 

  • THE GOOD: 4-player drop-in, drop-out co-op.
  • THE BAD: Everything else.
  • THE UGLY: The one-liners, the voice acting, the entire premise…

SCORE: 1.0

The Expendables 2 Videogame is available for XBLA, PSN, and PC. Primary version reviewed was on PSN. 

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The Pullbox – Issue #7.2

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August 4, 2012

Another tremendous week for comics and it seems that each one I read was better than the last in terms of established titles! There was some disappointing showings from Marvel’s newest numbers ones  though in Hawkeye and The First X-Men, and you got exactly what you’d expect from Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe. For the full breakdown though, check out the Pullbox below!

Marvel – Avengers vs X-Men Round #9 – Hope’s training is still moving far too slowly and Avengers are dropping like flies. With a little help from the rest of the X-Men who are starting to realize that the Phoenix Four are going mad with power, the remaining Avengers attempt a mad prison break to free their fallen allies and one hero prepares for the ultimate sacrifice.

Originally, I was going to do one of the other Marvel #1s in this spot so I could bash them up a bit because they were pretty bad, but between Round 8 and now Round 9 in this AvX event, I needed to mention that this is the first time in literally five years that I’ve rooted for Spider-Man in a comic book. His selflessness and wisdom beyond his years, his ability to overcome all the odds and take tragedy in stride, are traits that made Spidey one of my favorites growing up. He had lost this a few years ago and he still doesn’t have it in his own monthly, but in the various Avengers books Spidey is starting to reclaim what made him great and this book really solidified that. A great read as this event looks like its finally about to come to a head.

Marvel – The First X-Men #1 – Mutants are starting to pop up everywhere and Wolverine and Sabretooth aren’t thrilled with the idea that there are folks who are looking to bring them harm. Not really known for being heroes though, this odd couple does what they do best in busting heads in the hopes of protecting some folks who still don’t know how to protect themselves.

This book infuriated me more than any other #1 Marvel put out this week so although Hawkeye escaped my wrath, this book will not. It blatantly changes what we’ve come to know as the origin stories of Wolverine, Sabretooth, Professor X, and several others just to try to have another book with Wolverine blatantly in the spotlight since he is clearly Marvel’s powerhouse character in terms of sales right now. The dialogue between the characters is not entertaining in the least and the course of action just seems like another blatantly needless origin re-launch that does nothing but confuse people and turn off long-time comic book readers. Even with it being a number one, this book just isn’t worth it.

DC – Batman Detective Comics #12 – Batman finally unravels the mystery behind Mr. Toxic and although he may have a new villain on his hands, he know things could be much worse as Mr. Toxic is about to go atomic. And Batman needs to remedy this situation quickly as an old foe’s return looms on the horizon.

Not the best wrap up of what has mostly been a confusing storyline, it at least had a few intense action sequences and Batman’s new jetpack armor looked pretty badass. Really all this did was delay what fans have really been waiting for and that is the return of the Joker and what he plans to do in the New 52 and what made this comic was the tease of his return next month in the final few pages of the story. I for one cannot wait for next month as all this did was whet my appetite for a real Batman story already.

DC – Animal Man #12 – The epic Rotworld crossover between Animal Man and Swamp Thing starts here in this first chapter. Animal Man’s son has been tainted by the rot and is barely clinging to life and all Buddy Baker knows is that he must enter a Louisiana swamp and put an end to all this at its core. Lucky for him, Swamp Thing has the same idea after dealing with Anton Arcane for the first time since his resurrection.

I’m not a huge fan of Animal Man typically, but this first issue was really well written and made me think I might have been missing something all this time as I picked it up sporadically over its first dozen issues. Of course, it could also be the crossover with Swamp Thing, which also came out this week so make sure you got both chapters one and two of this event folks, which just happens to start in this issue. The build up for this event has been brilliant by DC and I really hope they can follow through now on this amazing foundation they’ve set up.

Image – Spawn #222 – Jim Downing, the newest Spawn on Earth has been using his powers unlike any other Spawn before him, to heal. At least in the public eye. Behind the scenes he is still a Spawn and as he struggles to piece his life together by terrifying every hood who might be connected a lab initiative called ‘The Program’ that took away Downing’s memory and might have given him some of his power, he awakens some old Spawn enemies. In this case, Tremor. But Downing unusually turned his healing powers on Tremor and seemingly cured him of the experimentation that turned him into that monster who now will help Downing track down more members of the ‘The Program’.

I walked away from Spawn for a long time due to the fact that Al Simmons lost all interest to me as a character. But curious as to how they were able to keep the book going for about 60 issues after I lost interest, this new Spawn and the fact he never died, yet has all the powers and then some of Al, has intrigued me. I’m a bit sad though that classic villain Tremor now seems to be no more, but at the very least we still have The Clown! The art is great, the story is very realistic conspiracy theory driven instead of the whole heaven vs. hell aspect that drove Al for so long, and Jim Downing’s desire to do good all the time is refreshing. If you haven’t been reading Spawn for many of the same reasons as me, you might be interested in checking it back out again as it’s definitely piqued my curiosity like it did in the old days.

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The Sleeper Hold – Episode 7 – The San Fernando Valley Screw Job

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Before we get into how AJ Lee did as GM (aside from look amazing in her power suit, although I definitely prefer the plaid two-piece), I need to talk about the San Fernando Valley Screw Job. This is basically what happens when a cable service provider (Time Warner) has a monopoly over a particular area of the country, (where I live in the valley), and whose service goes out constantly. I watch maybe five shows on TV, with Monday Night RAW being one of them, and to lose nearly 60 minutes of this show for no good reason drives me nuts. So despite their best efforts to clearly sabotage The Sleeper Hold this week on EGMNOW.com, I will continue onward with the two hours of the show I was able to see, plus piece together via illegal YouTube clips.

Main Plot Overview: The road to Summerslam continued to heat up last night as John Cena and the Big Show squared off at the command of AJ to determine the number one contender for the WWE Championship. CM Punk came down for the main event and joined Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole on commentary, which he dominated with his expert analysis and quick wit, before being bowled over by Big Show and Cena when the fight carried outside the ring.

In his rage, Punk interfered with the match and took both men down and due to the disqualification proclaimed there was no number one contender because both men were losers. AJ quickly squashed this unofficial ruling though and deemed them both winners and therefore the WWE Championship match at Summerslam was now a triple threat match between Punk, Cena, and Big Show, which was expected. The only question now is whether they can continue this three way feud all the way to Royal Rumble in order to have a Fatal 4-Way match with The Rock involved.

In other news that will definitely shake-up Smackdown on Friday nights, and thankfully help with the awful broadcast team there, Booker T has been named Smackdown’s new GM according to WWE.com.

Match of the Night: After confronting AJ Lee in her office, Daniel Bryan wanted some answers for her leaving him at the altar. AJ explained that she knew Daniel was full of it after seeing insane asylum orderlies backstage, thinking Daniel was going to have her committed once they were legally wed. So AJ was going to have Daniel take on Sheamus that night in a non-title match, with the WWE Universe deciding the stipulation. And we wanted to see a street fight.

By no means was this the best street fight you’re likely to see from the WWE. But the liberal use of kendo sticks, the steel steps, and a chair wedged between turnbuckles helped to liven up what was a very tight match technically from both men. No surprise, Sheamus emerged victorious as he pummeled Daniel Bryan and then laid him out on the steel steps in the ring with a Brogue Kick for the victory.

Another contender for this was the Jericho/Christian vs Ziggler/Miz tag match, but unfortunately my cable provider was nowhere to be seen and so I missed it and I can only call them as I see them folks. Kind of like an easily distracted WWE referee.

Promo of the Night: The night got off to a bang as CM Punk came to the ring to defend his actions last week on RAW when he clotheslined The Rock. Punk specifically called out Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler for saying Punk turned his back on the WWE Universe when he did that.

So Punk got right in Lawler’s face and sat Indian style on the announce table right in front of Jerry and explained that RAW should end every episode on the WWE Champion because it is the most prestigious belt in the business and therefore whoever holds it should hold the WWE Universe in his hand. Punk never turned his back on anyone. He was simply putting The Rock in his place for trying to steal the spotlight that Punk clearly earned. And I have to agree with him there. The show should end every night on the WWE Champ instead of John Cena and whatever ridiculous feud he’s stuck in that night. And it should definitely not end on The Rock will most likely lose at the Royal Rumble as he is clearly not ready to do RAW on a weekly basis.

So, this severe tongue lashing from Punk, directed right at Jerry Lawler, and the subsequent calling out by the Big Show, which just led to AJ making the main event announcement of the evening, was clearly the promo of the night.

Shocker of the Night: The only reason why this was Shocker of the Night was because for once Brodus Clay got jobbed instead of doing it to someone else. Damian Sandow came down to the ring, proclaiming himself a martyr, sacrificed for the people by DX the previous week and so in an attempt to bring culture back to the WWE Universe, he was going to start with Brodus and ridiculous dance-off he was having with Vickie Guerrero.

Honestly, I’m glad something stopped Vickie because she continued to be one of the most annoying figures in the WWE. But I would’ve preferred if Sandow and Clay had an actual match instead of Sandow sucker punching Brodus and then working the big man’s ‘injured’ knee. Maybe we will get that fight later on down the road, but as it was for last night, I was definitely surprised to see that Sandow wasn’t getting jobbed by Clay, but sort of did it the other way around.

Cheap Pop of the Night: The one-man band Heath Slater came out and talked about getting his WWE career back on track. Instead of facing off against a legend though, he faced off against a Legend Killer. That’s right, the crowd went crazy when Randy Orton made his return to RAW and quickly hit all his signature moves, much like the legends did in previous weeks on Slater, and finished off the one-man band with a thunderous RKO. Not only was it an easy win for Randy and a chance to get him back in front of the WWE Universe, but it definitely got the crowd fired up and earned out Cheap Pop of the Night.

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EGM Movie Review: The Watch

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July 27, 2012

With summer movie season typically being all about the major action blockbuster blowing us away with intense scenes of bullets flying and exploding fireballs melting people’s faces, it’s easy to forget to just laugh once in a while. Lucky for us, there’s The Watch. Starring comedic powerhouses Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill, The Watch follows the bumbling antics of four unlikely friends who come upon an alien invasion that will wipe the Earth off the face of the galaxy if they don’t do something about it.

The movie starts with Stiller as the manager of the local Costco. When he arrives for work one day, he finds his night watchman has been killed while on duty…and his skin unceremoniously ripped off his body. With the local police unprepared for such an event, Stiller takes it upon himself to form a neighborhood watch and track down the killer. Enter Vaughn, Hill, and relative newcomer Richard Ayoade to complete the rag tag band of local misfits that quickly get in way over their heads.

Now, to add to the comedy gravitas already of the leading men in this film, we also saw the motion picture directorial debut of Akiva Schaffer, best known for working with Andy Samberg and Jorma Taccone on many of the Saturday Night Live digital shorts of the past few years, and the script was co-written by Seth Rogen. And honestly, sometimes with all those dynamic personalities coming together, you’d expect that the movie would suffer as it was worked to make sure everyone had a chance to shine. But The Watch succeeded in having me literally laugh out loud for much of the movie as everyone had their moments, including Akiva who inserted himself into a hysterical cameo.

The Watch isn’t perfect by any means though. It gets off to a really slow start and for a movie that’s 1 hour and 40 minutes long, the first 40 minutes really is spent just setting up the situation and the personality foundations for the main characters, and I definitely checked my watch a couple of times because of it. The beginning does have a few nice one-liners to not lose you completely, but thankfully that last hour was strong enough to pull it all together with one joke just rolling right into the next.

I also appreciated the fact that once the alien invasion was exposed, the movie took a step away from that and let it just linger there while focusing back in on the dynamic between the four leads. You knew they would get back to it sooner or later, being the major conflict of the movie after all, but the funniest moments of the movie were just the four guys bantering back and forth with this galactic-sized situation on their hands.

I think part of this also is the movie taking full advantage of its R-rating. Not pulling any punches with language, sex, drugs, or violence, The Watch definitely drew a few laughs just by its willingness to occassionally go to places people don’t normally go to outside their home, if ever. Then again, what do you expect from the guy who helped make shorts like “Motherlover” and “D*** in a Box”? This is definitely for adult eyes only folks.

When all was said and done, I could say I genuinely enjoyed The Watch. It had a lot of great moments and once it hits its stride, even though it took a little while longer than expected to get there, the smile never left my face. Stiller, Vaughn, and Hill all hit their notes perfectly and Richard Ayoade may have been the most pleasant surprise of all as he stole several scenes with his expert comedic delivery. If you’re tired of seeing guys in costumes beat up on each other and need a good hearty laugh this summer, The Watch is a fine and funny alternative.

SCORE: 8.0

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The Pullbox – Issue #6.2

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An absolutely massive week made this Pullbox a little harder than normal as it seemed comics were coming from everywhere! Marvel, DC, and a cavalcade of indie stuff was successfully sifted through though and now we have this week’s Pullbox!

IDW – Ghostbusters #11 – The Ghostbusters continue their tour across America, battling pesky poltergeists all over the country, and this time they end up in Roswell, New Mexico on behalf of that state’s governor to take on a whole slew of alien ghosts!

Still probably my favorite monthly book that I’m picking up, Ghostsbusters does a brilliant job of coming up with new and interesting foes for the Ghostbusters to face while maintaining the humor that made the movies such classics. I literally can’t remember the last time I laughed out loud at a comic book before this monthly started almost a year ago. The best part of each book though is they are so easy to just jump right into because if you’re reading this book, you likely already know all the major players and what is going to be involved. I honestly hope writer Erik Burnham can continue the hysterical momentum he has going with this book as I continue to look forward to it each and every month.

DC – Batman: The Dark Knight #11 – Commissioner Gordon has been abducted by the Scarecrow and Batman is hot on his trail after finding traces of a variant to the Scarecrow’s infamous ‘Fear Toxin’. The Dark Knight though stumbles right into a trap laid out by the villain and ends up with a dose of this new toxin himself!

While reading this book, I was a little worried that, like with Mr. Freeze, they might be twisting The Scarecrow’s origin as well, and unfortunately I was right as it seems Jonathan Crane had a father who liked fear more than the boy ever did. At the very least, he is still the villain he always seems to have been, just crazier and with ‘Fear Toxin’ being in the BatComputer database, we at least know Batman should be more than aware of this new look Dr. Crane’s potential. Seeing where this rather generic, at least up to this point, Scarecrow story goes from here though should be interesting as this book tried to pull itself from the doldrums towards the end.

DC – Green Lantern #11 – After saving Sinestro from the Indigo Tribe and reformatting his ring, Hal Jordan wants to start enacting a plan to save the Guardians of the Universe…from themselves. Sinestro though points out that in Jordan’s haste to save him, he let Black Hand escape and in his mind, that is a far greater threat at the moment. So the unlikely duo travel to Sinestro’s secret layer where he hides the Book of Black in the hopes it will give them insight to both their problems.

I admit that I’m starting to tire of the world’s worst buddy movie pairing in Sinestro and Hal Jordan and long for this ‘Third Army’ arc that clearly looms on the horizon. Where exactly the relationship between Hal and Sinestro is heading, I have no idea, but I sure hope it gets there soon as I’m a little sick of it. At the very least, the re-introduction of Black Hand as a villain and his ability to re-animate the dead should prove a worthy adversary for the Green Lanterns for the time being and is the only thing keeping me interested in this book at the moment.

Marvel – Secret Avengers #29 – Max Fury, the evil clone of Nick Fury, has succeeded in putting together a hive of scum and villainy that would make Mos Eisley cower away. With many of the Marvel’s major and B-list villains congregated in one place, the Secret Avengers have their work cut out for them, especially as whatever it is this new Masters of Evil is planning could spell doom for the world as we know it.

It’s nice to see Secret Avengers get away from the AvX event and get back to the story that was being told before all that nonsense started. Unfortunately, it was such a convoluted storyline to begin with that if you’re like me, you can barely remember what happened a few months ago and how everyone is connected. All we really need to know though is the world is in trouble, Ant-Man is a traitor, and Venom and Taskmaster are gearing up for a battle of epic proportions next issue. And honestly, Venom seems to be the only interesting character in this bunch now as Cap and Beast are still dealing with AvX so the more he is featured the better. His little ‘disguise’ was absolutely brilliant as well and made a relatively boring book somewhat interesting as a whole.

Marvel – X-Treme X-Men #1 – After returning home from a parallel dimension where X-Men were sacrificed to keep the planet powered, Cyclops was looking for a way back to help those he left behind. Meanwhile, three alternate universe X-Men in the forms of a youthful Nightcrawler and Emma Frost, and a grizzled Wolverine, serve as leaders for this new world and use the psychic abilities of severed Charles Xavier heads to teleport their world into a new dimension with an uninhabited Earth. Teleporting six billion people between dimensions is a little difficult though and it seems they’ve awaken almost a dozen new threats to the multiverse. Now joined by our Earth’s Dazzler and one of the Xavier heads, this odd grouping of multiverse X-Men must save us all!

If you couldn’t tell from the description, this book is out there. Like way out there. There’s even an octopus Charles Xavier. And some of that deals with the fact this feels very much like Exiles did for some time. I don’t know how long this book will last, as these multiverse adventures start to get a little confusing and drive folks away after a while, but it definitely seems to be a lot more fun and upbeat than any other X-book out there right now, even if with entire universes collapsing in one each other. The weird dynamic between characters is entertaining beyond words and with plenty of action promised for future issues, this is a new monthly that, at least through the first issue, has pleasantly surprised me.

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EGM Review: Ghost Recon: Future Soldier—Arctic Strike DLC

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Not much Arctic about this Strike

The most memorable and entertaining levels in Ghost Recon: Future Soldier’s single-player campaign were definitely the maps set deep in Siberia. Trudging through snowdrifts, squinting through whiteout conditions, and laying waste to your enemies left me immensely satisfied. So when Ubisoft first announced the Arctic Strike DLC, I was looking forward to seeing how those elements might work in versus multiplayer.

The Arctic Strike DLC comes with three new versus maps, a new co-op map, a new multiplayer mode called Stockade, and six new weapons. Unfortunately, to my surprise, not a single versus map has a single damn snowflake. The only snow-oriented level is the Guerilla co-op map, which, thankfully, does drop in a blizzard after hitting level 10. Still, not getting a versus snow map boggled my mind—especially given the Arctic Strike moniker—and if it weren’t for the co-op map, I’d think it was blatant false advertising. Typically, when you think “map packs,” you think versus first and co-op second.

At least the versus maps work with what they set out to do and provide a little diversity. The first map, Skyline, is set on a rooftop. I expected this to be a smaller map, but it also includes a pleasant vertical element. And with wide-open spaces in the middle perfect for a team with a sniper to mow down unsuspecting noobs, this was my favorite map of the pack.

The next map, Evicted, is a massive area set around an apartment building. Since it takes place during the day, the visibility lines are clear, and the map plays well to campers and snipers, as you can go long periods of time before bumping into someone. Due to the lack of regular conflict, though, I found it boring at times.

Rounding out the maps is Riot, which may be the smallest of the pack but definitely fits into the category of a more traditional medium-sized map. Don’t worry, shotgunners—you can still get your kills here, but I had a lot more success with a strong assault rifle. And since it’s an urban setting, there’s plenty of cover, as well as chances to flank unsuspecting foes.

But the best value for the $10 (800 MSP) price tag this DLC carries may be the new multiplayer mode. Stockade plays a lot like prison dodgeball; if you’re killed, you get sent to a queue. Only by someone on your team killing an opponent, and you being next in the queue, can you return to the match. If your entire team ends up in the queue, or “stockade,” the match is over. Unfortunately, if you’re on a team with a bunch of campers or snipers and you bite the bullet, this mode can get boring quickly, as you spend several minutes at a time waiting in the queue with nothing to do. With an experienced team, this mode could offer up some interesting matches.

In the end, this is a standard map pack in terms of quality versus price. The three versus maps offer a little variety, but they’re nothing exceptional—and the fact that the lone co-op map is the only actual “Arctic” map still sticks in my craw. The only element of real note is the new versus mode, but it loses its appeal quickly if your team’s inexperienced or likes to camp all day, so unless you’re a hardcore fan of Ghost Recon: Future Soldier’s multiplayer modes, you can probably steer clear of this DLC and won’t lose any sleep over it.

SUMMARY: The new multiplayer mode definitely adds an interesting wrinkle to the online gameplay of Future Soldier, but with a name like Arctic Strike, shouldn’t there be, ya know, a bunch of snow and ice maps?!

  • THE GOOD: New multiplayer mode adds interesting dynamic to Execution-style gameplay.
  • THE BAD: Only three maps.
  • THE UGLY: Watching an entire match from the bench after only one death.

SCORE: 6.0

Tom Clancy’s Ghost: Recon Future Soldier – Arctic Strike DLC is available on Xbox 360 and PS3. Primary version reviewed was on the Xbox 360.    

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The Sleeper Hold – Episode 6

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It was RAW’s 1000th episode, and unfortunately the WWE still can’t find a way to work some solid wrestling into the show even at three hours long now. Although I understand that it was a bit of a celebration, and hopefully things will pick up a bit next week, I can’t forgive the blatant extra advertising and time wasted pandering to the WWE Universe. As a whole, those of us who grew up in the ‘Attitude Era’ had a few extra laughs and it was nice to see legends like Bret Hart again. All in all though, this was a monumental waste of time and I fear for the future of Monday Night RAW’s ability to entertain us.

Main Plot Overview: The big shake-up in the main plot of the show was The Rock re-inserting himself into the WWE Championship picture, proclaiming he has been promised a title match at The Royal Rumble in January. Of course, with that still being six months away, the title can change hands several times potentially, with the first time being that night with John Cena cashing in his MITB contract.

Not surprisingly though, the match was interfered with by The Big Show and Cena became the first man to ever win his MITB contract title match, but not the title as a title cannot change hands via outside interference. The most infuriating thing about this match though was the sad attempt by WWE to possibly turn CM Punk heel, as he did what everyone else in the world would do and tried to capitalize on the opportunity afforded him by The Big Show. It’s not good for a face to win like a heel though, so this move likely means Punk is turning his back again on the people, especially after he clotheslined The Rock during his People’s Elbow on The Big Show.

Match of the Night: In three hours of programming, the WWE put on two good matches. The first was a 6-man tag match between Sheamus/Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio and Jericho/Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio. The match of the night though was the other good match in Christian vs The Miz for the IC belt.

Marking the 66th time the title was defended on MNR (average one defense every 15 weeks on the show), Christian came out with a flurry against the Miz, quickly taking to the air and hitting moves like missile dropkicks and crossbodies. But Miz would counter often and Christian would be unable to hit The Kill Switch. Instead, the Miz would finally get his chance and would take advantage, hitting the Skull-Crushing Finale and capturing the IC belt.

This was significant not only due to a major belt changing hands, but because this completes the career Triple Crown for the Miz who was a former WWE and US Champion. It also shows WWE’s commitment to insert the Miz right back into some decent storylines after some time away by giving him this storied mid-tier belt.

Promo of the Night: After the failed wedding of Daniel Bryan and AJ (more on that shortly), Daniel Bryan threw a tantrum of epic proportions. And CM Punk came down to the ring to gloat. Daniel Bryan didn’t take too kindly to this and proceeded to proclaim himself the greatest of all-time.

The Rock then had issue with this and came down to the ring to not only tell the people about The Royal Rumble, but to put Daniel Bryan in his place. After putting together a rhyme about how Daniel Bryan looks like something out of Lord of the Rings and is nothing but a glorified Oompa Loompa, the Rock gave Daniel Bryan a present. A Rock Bottom. Seeing the Rock rattle off an old-school promo like that was very enjoyable and so it is no surprise to see The Rock take home something he would have often back in his heyday, and that is The Promo of the Night. 

Shocker of the Night: Shortly before Daniel Bryan’s tantrum, he was the happiest guy in the world, as he was about to marry AJ (a lucky guy indeed). But like most weddings staged in a WWE ring, all was not well. And so the shocker came when we found out when AJ was saying ‘yes’ to someone else. Specifically, Mr. McMahon. But as Mr. McMahon explained to Daniel Bryan, it was a business proposition she was agreeing to. AJ was to be the new GM of MNR, to which I broke out with a ‘yes’ chant of my own! Our lovely geek goddess then proceeded to skip around the ring in her usual care-free demeanor as Daniel Bryan, with special guest reverend Slick, were left standing in shock in the middle of the ring. This is one of the few reasons I can’t wait for RAW episode 1001 now. 

Cheap Pop of the Night: The night started off with a bang as promised, as DX came out to the ring to kick things off. I was a bit disappointed though because it was only HHH and HBK and I remember when DX was actually a much larger stable than these two WWE mainstays. But I should learn not to doubt DX as they always have something up their degenerate sleeves and after some humorous banter between HBK and HHH, almost all the rest of the crew came out. X-Pac, Road Dogg, and Billy Gunn, in a military jeep, came rolling out to ringside and the gang was back together and for the first time in a while, I legitimately cheered at the TV while watching MNR. And it only got better as they hit all their catch phrases and even embarrassed Damien Sandow, who is definitely turning heads as a heel and passed his initiation as one after he was promptly disposed of by DX.

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